Can’t believe we are now living in a world where you need a ‘reasonable excuse’ to leave your house

[Despairandchocolatecake]

I do understand why but I still can’t quite believe it.
I feel extremely claustrophobic, the house is now a prison - and this could go on another six months. I now need a ‘reasonable excuse’ to step outside my front door. I don’t have one so that is it. We are locked up.
All that freedom we took for granted seems like a different lifetime.

You are definitely allowed to leave the house if you are fleeing domestic abuse. That was one of the main reasons that the PM mentioned in his speech yesterday.

Nobody's going to stop you and question why you're out. And in the vanishes small possibility that the police do, you're out for a walk or to get fresh air.

I think there are absolutely no guarantees in life about anything. The fact that we have warm, safe homes and food on the table and we live in a safe country are riches indeed. To stay in our homes to keep safe is an extremely small sacrifice.

I hate the word ‘excuse’. Why not just say ‘ a valid reason’

I see now that you gave much bigger issues. Could you tell your husband that you are working on your fitness and leave the kids with him. Walk off and do your online appointments somewhere. The click and collect idea is good but you would have to be sure that you could get there at the right time. Going forward, I hope you are planning on leaving/separating from your partner as it sounds very unhealthy.

@WishingHopingThinkingPraying

I'm not sure if I can express this clearly but every time I think 'this us unbelievable, I can't believe this is gappening' I remind myself that actually, this has been happening to people on an individual basis every day of life for other reasons. We just dont see it.

What about the person who finds out they have cancer and are either too unwell or too immunocompromised to leave their house for months on end. Or the family with a child who has similar. Or the family who have no money so can't afford to do more than walks anyway. Or all the kids in hospital who spend weeks in the same bed not going anywhere. Or the people who are imprisoned for years for whatever crime. Or the people who have lost the family member they would have been missing seeing if it was 'just' a pandemic.

The whole fuck up of Covid is for the politicians, statisticians and medical experts to take on board. As individuals, we just need to deal with our own personal circumstances and a bit of bad luck on any single year could have brought a similar limitation to our individual families in a heartbeat.

So we need to do what humans always do. Adjust and cope and get on with it as best we can.

This is so so true and really well expressed. And when the limitations are imposed by illness they often come with more pain and less hope of reprieve. Also without knowing that others are experiencing the same, not that you’d wish ill on them but it is more isolating when it is only you and no one you know understands. Your post could be usefully copy and pasted onto most threads on covid!

In the OPs situation things are complicated by her home difficulties, I wish you the best OP.

My domestic situation is tricky. I'm actually thinking of moving in with a friend for the rest of lockdown (I'm checking if this is legal) and in the meantime, I'm out walking much of the time. I live by the coast, with lots of countryside, so easy to distance or not see a soul for ages. So, I feel it's 100% safe and within the rules.
I definitely think though, that lockdown is much easier for those with comfortable, safe domestic situations. They really shouldn't judge more vulnerably housed people for not being able to lock down as completely. Most people are doing their best, with their personal circumstances

Unfortunately police have been causing tail backs and stopping people locally for crossing a boundary to shop.

He sounds very controlling, Despair. Surely he must realise you are entitled to a little privacy and time to yourself, just as he is. If he cannot understand that, he is a monster.

Just hang on for now and use this time to plan your escape. You will be able to do that eventually, concentrate on that which will make the time go faster. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Was your husband always like this or is it recent?

Op, darker nights don't help, suddenly it will seem so much lighter again, it starts to get lighter much quicker soon. That also extends the hours people can get out.

Loud tree has to be a troll surely? Why are people biting to her/him? Wouldn't surprise me if it's someone sat in their mums spare box room and regular tattle poster.

I doubt it. I work with a lady who has exactly the same views and is totally paranoid. As we are essential workers (emergency services control room) we have to go to work. She wanted a shielding letter but didn't get one and has spent the entire pandemic trying everything she can to get out of coming in. She is a complete hypochondriac and no more at risk than lots of other people.

She'd post exactly the same

OP, it sounds very much like you are in a coerceive control issue without the added complexities of lockdown.
Ultimately your relationship is deeply unhealthy and abusive and needs dealing with when you are ready. (FYI is a legal exemption from lockdown measures.)

Until then, get out for walks for exercise, use the click and collect shopping to buy more time. Take advantage of every inch that you have. The more you do, the easier it gets.

Wandering yes it is legal to move in with a friend if that’s safer for you x