Can’t believe we are now living in a world where you need a ‘reasonable excuse’ to leave your house

[Despairandchocolatecake]

I do understand why but I still can’t quite believe it.
I feel extremely claustrophobic, the house is now a prison - and this could go on another six months. I now need a ‘reasonable excuse’ to step outside my front door. I don’t have one so that is it. We are locked up.
All that freedom we took for granted seems like a different lifetime.

Your life is worth living and your DCs love you and need you.
Can you sit in your car for privacy to talk to someone?
You can email the Samaritans to talk to someone online instead of having to speak out loud: [email protected]
Or ring 116123
It might not feel like they can do anything to help you but you'll never know if you don't get in touch with them.
And please call your GP or text your Health Visitor if you have one, they can help you.

Have you tried talking to him about how you feel?

I'm so sorry, it really sounds tough for you. ☹️ Can you not explain to your DH that you need some headspace? If you suffer a nervous breakdown, he will be looking after the children whether he likes it or not. I can't work out if he is being oblivious or deliberately unhelpful and selfish...you would best know the answer to that. You can't pour from an empty cup...your needs need to be met too!

@LochDooner69 are you OP's DH?
Is that a threat?

not sure if you drive OP but in the last lockdown I regularly went and sat in the car to escape my children (I love them very much but working/living/schooling etc all under one roof was unbearable at times)
Sometimes the cat would come with me I'd take my book with me or my tablet and play some mindless games.
I started writing to old friends which gave me an excuse to walk to the post box.
I would meet with a friend for a walk once or twice a week and we have found some wonderful hidden gems around our city that we didn't know about.
I'd grab a drive through costa.

You aren't a prisoner in your home, you can do things to keep yourself sane within the parameters of the rules.

Can't you just take the children to the park and have your phone calls while they are playing (maybe push them on the swings). It's not ideal, but it sounds like not having your sessions will be even less ideal. I'm sure the people you are talking to will understand if you explain you may have to break off because you are with your children. That's normal these days.

@Despairandchocolatecake

I cannot go for a walk with a friend because I will always havemy dc with me and you can only meet 1:1 I’d be too worried about the police anyway. I can’t afford a £200 fine.

Fgs. Even worse you have dc. You need to seriously get a grip and dont give in to those feelings. Yes its shit but noone says you cant go for shopping or for a walk.

Noone will fine you.

[quote MrsPernicious]@LochDooner69 are you OP's DH?
Is that a threat?[/quote]
Reported.
Totally and utterly irresponsible and inappropriate.

Sorry that was directed to @LochDooner69

sorry I didn't read the full thread before I posted. How about booking a click and collect shopping slot each week but not telling your DH and then having your counselling session/phone call with the solicitors at the same time. That way you would come home with a weeks worth of shopping and have time to have your calls.

@Despairandchocolatecake

No but I could have left before any time I’d wanted to. I also now cannot attend my counselling appointments or my solicitors appointments. It’s making me feel like I cannot breathe.

They're both reasonable reasons to leave the house?

You are catastrophising. Which I understand, but you are nonetheless saying things which are not true.

@LoudTree

The purpose of the restrictions is to save lives That is far more important than being able to leave home multiple times per day for totally non essential reasons.

Personally I don’t think this ‘lockdown’ is strict enough. It should be a case of- unless you are a key worker, stay the fuck at home.

Not going out for walks or popping to the shop for alcohol

You realise that going for walks is on the list of allowed things? Why would you want to ban a very low risk activity that’s actually beneficial for fighting against covid?

Do some people seriously think we should all be locked in our houses not even allowed out for a walk? What is wrong with some people.

@Mousehole10 I agree with you but the thread has moved on. OPs problem is more complex than her first post suggests.

Just back from a beautiful long walk with the children. 8000 steps.

Now back to home and getting cosy.

Lovely

I would put money on Loudtree

Not having children (I hope so if she’s not taking them out ever)
Not enjoying exercise in any shape or form
Being thoroughly dissatisfied with her life pre pandemic
Prone to catastrophising

OP, I fear your DH is part of your problems, if you feel you can't open up to him and admit counselling is a good way to go for you. If you can't trust him and he's part of the problem, would it be better for you to be elsewhere?

Either way, you're allowed out and sounds like you must take advantage of it and get out of it whatever you can enjoy. It'll do your little one as well to get out. Putting aside work, here I go out for food shopping (have always tended to do it on foot), a walk - different ways each time (don't forget to say hello to others as even simple contact with others is good) drop food shopping off for elderly mother (could be a neighbour in your case) and I'm going to continue picking DD up from work at 10pm (otherwise she'd have a very long walk along quiet roads). In your case, taking your DC to the park - making up games for things to find.

@LoudTree

The purpose of the restrictions is to save lives That is far more important than being able to leave home multiple times per day for totally non essential reasons.

Personally I don’t think this ‘lockdown’ is strict enough. It should be a case of- unless you are a key worker, stay the fuck at home.

Not going out for walks or popping to the shop for alcohol

And of course you should also tell your working neighbours that they should somehow magically get their employers to furlough them for your benefit even though, because you never leave your house, you never come into contact with them, shouldn’t you @LoudTree?

@Porcupineintherough I know, I was replying to Loudtree.

@LoudTree

The purpose of the restrictions is to save lives That is far more important than being able to leave home multiple times per day for totally non essential reasons.

Personally I don’t think this ‘lockdown’ is strict enough. It should be a case of- unless you are a key worker, stay the fuck at home.

Not going out for walks or popping to the shop for alcohol

Thank goodness the people who make the rules are actually more sensible

Are you planning to leave him? Because it sounds like your problem isn't lockdown, it's your controlling husband. It really isn't normal to have to produce a bag of groceries to justify your absence.

Loudtree

People have to second guess every single move they make now. Perhaps you were always like that, but some of us, the impact is traumatic. This isn't how film-makers imagined a pandemic affecting us. Nobody saw this sustained limitation of our liberties - at all. Nobody. It is traumatic to some people. Actual, real, nervous, life-impacting, life-changing trauma.

Could you order a click and collect order and then make calls?