Since the 8pm announcement I have...

[ilikexmas]

Cried
Had 3 cups of tea
Finished off the Xmas biscuits ( about 12 biscuits)
Cried again
Stared into space
Wrapped myself tightly in my duvet
Now I feel like crying again but will go to bed.

FML!!!

I haven’t told DS1 A levels are not going ahead as normal.....whatever the fuck that means😳

He will be so stressed and he will find out himself soon if he hasn’t already!

TBH with older teenagers, little has changed apart from added stress for very fragile DS1! I’m still a sodding nurse and we still won’t have any sodding staff, no change from most of the past year!

On the positive side I’ve had the first dose of the vaccine so work may be marginally less stressful in a few weeks. It won’t produce more nurses though so probably not!

Eaten several kind bars (ignoring health kick)

Ordered a yellow stove top kettle

Went into work emails pointlessly

Worried c loosing my contract

Ate chocolate

Felt very panic-y as no chance of another contract right now

Ordered a cordless hoover

Remembered I should call my sister who will now not be able to work at all

Phone now plugged in, eating more chocolate, puzzled by my apparent sudden passion for household appliances, presume it's a control thing, wish I could apply that to what I am eating.

The thing that was keeping me sane - being able to meet up with one friend outside - has gone..... unless we go jogging together!

I have eaten a double decker.
Ranted to my friend and OH
Felt like I couldn't breathe.
Got raging heartburn, thank you pregnancy.
I'll probably go to bed soon as I'm knackered. And not sleep much, again.

Nurseries can stay open afaik, so should be ok @Lifepassingby

I realised all the work I’d done today on a work project is wasted as it will have to be postponed. I can cope with that.

We watched the announcement with DD (10) and after translating Boris- speak, spent several hours having cuddles as she couldn’t sleep. She really struggled in lockdown 1. Wondering how we are going to cope with this... not sure how.

One day at a time.

Business as usual here... we're in London so school was already cancelled and tbh, it's felt like lockdown since pubs & cinemas shut a month ago. The grind goes on...

Scottish here so our announcement was at 2pm but...

Re read the announcement
Queried if DP was allowed to work
Got worried / disappointed that he could
Re read the announcement again
Spoke to our parents / my 2nd birth partner who now can't attend birth.
Checked the experts on Facebook
Played with DC to try distract myself
Took a nap to try calm down.
Googled "can I discharge myself from hospital after birth"
Googled "home birth"
Reread announcement again
Tried to find maternity guidance for my area and failed.
Suffered braxton hicks and felt sick.
Got all worked up again.

About to... Find some nice snacks, go for a long bath (minus my phone so I can't keep reading and googling) then try get some sleep before contacting midwife tomorrow for more information.

Fu*k Covid.

@lockdownfeelings sounds good!

Had a massive smelly shit. My body needed it so not exactly by choice but it does feel rather appropriate.

Had a bath. Drank lots of tea.
Realised, as I ALWAYS do when things go to shit, that my long term fwb is only there for the good times not the bad ones and I really should aim higher and look for a proper relationship

I have imbibed a glass of port and 3/4 bag doritos with dip. Total anxiety eating as I hardly ever do that. Mind is spinning and can't even concentrate on TV. Ridiculous of me really as I was already mainly working from home and don't have kids around. Think I am stressing on behalf of the rest of the family who no doubt have it harder than me and I am not even able to be a useful childcare bubble because of my own work.

Drank wine and ate leftover Christmas biscuits despite having already hit my calorie allowance for the day (oops).

Ranted to a friend in another country about how incompetent the government is.

Shared really silly jokes/memes about said government and covid generally because it's a bit of an 'if I don't laugh I'll start crying' situation right now.

Explained what's happening to a family member who never watches the news.

Made him and myself tea.

Now back on here reading what everyone else thinks.

Convinced my kids to go to bed

Stalked my email, discovered my wraparound care will be closed, eaten a double decker out of one of the kids selection boxes.

Swabbed my own nose. Fed the cats.

Phoned a friend.

Sorted childcare for tomorrow. Day 1 sorted. Phew.

Lateral flow negative. Ironed my work uniform.

Good luck everyone. We can do this. Again.

@OnNaturesCourse I had a homebirth last May and honestly couldnt recommend it highly enough!! Soooooooo much better than my previous two hospital births

Changed my alarm from 7.30am to 6.30am as I’ll need to start work at 7am tomorrow to get a couple of hours in before my son wakes up! Also reset the heating to come on an hour earlier at 6.15am!

@Jrobhatch29

Comforted my broken hearted 8 year old after I had to disturb him reading in bed to tell him that he wont be going to school tomorrow And ordered a laptop😭

I did the same with DD (9) and then ordered her a laptop too - curry's website was a bloody pain in the ass and it drove me to the Christmas chocolates again!!

[quote Nicknamegoeshere]@OnNaturesCourse I had a homebirth last May and honestly couldnt recommend it highly enough!! Soooooooo much better than my previous two hospital births [/quote]
@nicknamegoeshere I was previously discouraged from it by midwife as my 1st was a complicated birth after a induction for reduced movements. I'm 45 minutes away from my chosen hospital (without traffic!) aswell but I'm at the stage now where I'd happily transfer my notes/care to the less modern, closer hospital at 10 minutes away if I got a chance at home birth.

I hate hospitals at normal times. These times set my anxiety through the roof. I can't be in there by myself for any longer than absolutely needed or I'll make myself ill.

Why are you crying so much, OP?

Went out for a walk (stomp) so I didn't have to see the bumbling twat. Don't want to know the ins and outs atm
Spent rest of evening pretending to read.
Tomorrow getting more sleeping pills and reducing my times awake to as little as possible

I am still processing it. It wasn’t at all a surprise but somehow it still feels a bit surreal.

I drank too much wine and had a cry while dd was getting ready for bed.

Ordered a repeat prescription of my favoured sleeping tablets, but I know the miserable fuckers will only give me five despite me being a higher rate tax payer. I jest of course, a bit. BUT WHAT ARE MY TAXES FOR YOU TIGHT GITS

The chocolates are finished so I'm fkd.

I have-
Had rennie in the hope that chest pain is indigestion! I am sure it is, or anxiety, but have health anxiety which isn’t helping.
Read the guidelines to see if we can still work, arranged a meeting with employees for the morning to chat about the situation and how they feel about working.
Checked emails to see if any customers have cancelled yet.
Consoled dd who is upset not to be at school for so long. This morning she was fine with working online but not for the whole term.
Thought about how to manage ds who will be upset that he now can’t see his girlfriend until February.
Chatted to 3 friends and db about situation.
Discussed with dh about how to manage our work during lockdown.

It’s been relentless really....

Poured a big gin, despite doing dry January
Listened to my DD crying and tried, in vain, to comfort her
Eaten half a tub of hummous
Felt suddenly absolutely exhausted

@Heffle

Taken the dog out where she did a lot of random angry barking at nothing and a big poo. Animals are so in tune with us.

Yes mumsnet I picked it up 😀

Funny our two dogs did the same thing, yes I picked up, and I’m in curfew so could have got arrested for walking dogs around the block , plus we can’t buy alcohol here, so having to drink Sherry or mulled wine.