Nurseries staying open

[meow1989]

To coin a mn phrase: is Boris on glue?!

So now I will have to pay to keep my toddler off to keep him (and us) safe?!

@Perfect28

Thanks for all the responses. How on earth do you think women have managed for centuries, without playgroups and cafes? Talk to your child. Take them for walks. Say hi to people walking their dogs. Read stories. They will cope... Honestly. I know it isn't a middle class ideal but they aren't going to somehow be scarred for life.

Why didn’t you read the responses properly? People don’t need ideas about how to spend time with their child if they aren’t working, talk about teaching your grandmother to suck eggs. They wouldn’t have a problem if they could do all these things without needing to work at the same time. What do you think children should be doing if their parents have to work?

OK I'm going to say it one more time, nice and loud. I am not, I repeat not, taking aim at those who need nurseries for childcare because they need to work. Actually I'm really pleased that nurseries AND early year provision is available this time round for that purpose. What I take issue with is parents who can keep their child at home, choosing not to because they worry their child's development will be negatively affected.

@Perfect28 - in response to your comment (and I do desperately need a nursery) - aside from work - my concern is that my kid is an only child and every thing else is shut. Now I do not think that most people before used to have their kids isolating from the world and thought that was normal. If my kid could go to see other kids, interact with siblings etc then no - it's not so important but we cant now. So yes, I think that even for those who dont work a nursery might be important

Hiya!

I've seen lots of references to state/maintained nurseries being closed but can't find any reference to this only being about private nurseries. Our pre-school (council run) is definitely open as is the school nursery. Is there a reference to this in the guidance?

See you're referring to childcare, which is absolutely a necessity. My post was in reference to those who can look after their child (SAHP) for example, who simply believe their child needs to 'socialise'.

In the grand old days one wouldn't sit at home all day one-to-one with a baby or toddler. You might go to the shops with them (not allowed unless essential), call round friends' or families' houses (not allowed), go to a one o'clock club (closed), possibly more recently have playdates or a visit to a museum, cafe, soft play or swimming (closed, closed, closed closed). You certainly wouldn't have the entire infrastructure of your life dismantled overnight, parks closed, nurseries shut etc.

I'm a PT key worker, I've been juggling my work (I run a food bank) with care of DD (2/3) since March. We're managing and we're very lucky to have plenty of resources etc to throw at things but let's not pretend that it's a non-stop festival of baking, crafts and jumping in puddles.

I resent your post because it sails quite close to "oh those lazy SAHP, why did they bother having kids anyway if they want to chuck them in nursery" (which I have read on MN). Toddlers and older benefit from being in nursery, socially and otherwise. Yes my child needs to see other people beyond her mum and dad. Not at the expense of nursery workers' lives or health, but she does.

@Perfect28

OK I'm going to say it one more time, nice and loud. I am not, I repeat not, taking aim at those who need nurseries for childcare because they need to work. Actually I'm really pleased that nurseries AND early year provision is available this time round for that purpose. What I take issue with is parents who can keep their child at home, choosing not to because they worry their child's development will be negatively affected.

But you said kids don’t need nursery- if someone is working from home their child could zone out to CBeebies all day, parents could speak to them at lunch time; as you said they don’t need greater interaction or stimulation than that.

Yes and it's far from ideal, but they aren't being kept in solitary confinement. Adult interaction in the short term is fine and will not harm them in the long run.

@user1488819536

Why cant nursery workers wear PPE? Am I missing something? Disposable gloves etc. I know that they cant wear masks as need to communicate with the children but they could wear plastic visors to give some protection and the children can still communicate with them then. To be honest, kids are so used to seeing people in masks they probably wouldn't be at all worried about the nursery workers wearing them any more. They could be reusable ones and just all be put in the washing machine at nursery at the end of each shift? This would save money too.

What PPE without masks???? For an aerosol transmitted virus. For me nursey workers should be in n95 minimum masks maybe ffp3.

The point remains that you are putting other people at risk by sending your children to nursery. You have to live with knowing your actions will cause illness and death. You have convinced yourself you are right so it won’t bother you though.

@OnlyFoolsnMothers
I’m afraid children do spread the virus. Why do you think they have closed the schools if they don’t? I understand WHY you are being selfish but you ARE being selfish. There need to be better solutions FOR EVERYONE affected by this.

@Perfect28 I'm currently at home with a newborn , my 2 year old has spent half his life in a hospital - massively delayed and catching up ( only just learnt to walk ) , he needs this. He will going to nursery this afternoon.

But that's precisely the point isn't it. Yes, it would be better for them (as for all of us) if there wasn't a pandemic. Yes, children are probably happier being stimulated and seeing other children. However when the choice is as stark as- the more we do, the more people die, then toddlers not being 'socially stimulated' for several months doesn't even come close to being a priority.

@Perfect28

Thanks for all the responses. How on earth do you think women have managed for centuries, without playgroups and cafes? Talk to your child. Take them for walks. Say hi to people walking their dogs. Read stories. They will cope... Honestly. I know it isn't a middle class ideal but they aren't going to somehow be scarred for life.

" Talk to your child. Take them for walks. Say hi to people walking their dogs. Read stories."

Yes, during weekends or after 5pm. How do you suggest I do that while I work?

I don't see any suggestions on what to do from the ones who say not to send them to nursery. Should I give him up for adoption? Sell him on the black market? Resign, become jobless and homeless and go on benefits until the end of the pandemic? No, I can't be furloughed, no I have no family nearby or support bubble, no I can't take unpaid leave or use up my holidays all in one go as my business doesn't work like that.
Please give me a reasonable solution and I am willing to listen.

Perfect28 I’m afraid your “middle class ideal” schtick betrays your feelings. You don’t give a shit about the reality of people’s lives, it’s easier to assume they are a stereotype you can sneer at. I get it, we are all extremely stressed, but you aren’t helping anyone.

Oh on the contrary, I do give a shit. I give alot of shits about people who have to continue working in nurseries to provide care to those who don't really need it whilst putting their lives on the line, all for minimum wage.

Wow you really need to read my posts. If you need childcare, use nurseries.

[quote tellytubby20]@Perfect28 - in response to your comment (and I do desperately need a nursery) - aside from work - my concern is that my kid is an only child and every thing else is shut. Now I do not think that most people before used to have their kids isolating from the world and thought that was normal. If my kid could go to see other kids, interact with siblings etc then no - it's not so important but we cant now. So yes, I think that even for those who dont work a nursery might be important[/quote]
this! in any other Time when cafes and playground existed... kids could still mix with kids.. my parents never took m to playgrounds/cafes/nursery... but they could take me to the street to play with other kids and socialise.. our kids nowadays cant ..moreoverr most of us have got duties... so I dont think sitting him for 8h in front of tv whilst I work would be good for his future... 1 day won't be damaging but 6 weeks?

Yes and it's far from ideal, but they aren't being kept in solitary confinement. Adult interaction in the short term is fine and will not harm them in the long run.

Yes. Now if the government agreed and prioritised the lives of nursery staff they could act accordingly. As it is the message is that nurseries are safe, so you can't blame parents - some of whom may be finding it very difficult to cope with one or more children in small flats, possibly juggling a toddler with newborn or whatever else - from availing themselves of that. The messaging is "They're open, they're safe."

I'm keeping DD home. She's 3, an only child, naps for 2hr solid a day, happy to watch a bit of TV or do some colouring or have a picnic with her teddies, frankly could be unsupervised for an hour at a time if push came to shove. That's very different from, say, a SAHM married to a key worker working from home in a small flat with a child who doesn't nap and has some challenging behaviours. Or a child whose older sibling is at home but has additional needs. (These aren't examples I've plucked out of the air - they are my nearest neighbours.)

This is absolutely on the government.

@Perfect28

Thanks for all the responses. How on earth do you think women have managed for centuries, without playgroups and cafes? Talk to your child. Take them for walks. Say hi to people walking their dogs. Read stories. They will cope... Honestly. I know it isn't a middle class ideal but they aren't going to somehow be scarred for life.

Probably by not working a full 8 (or more) hours a day, other than child care and maintaining their homes, possibly with help from parents and in laws and other extended families.. sorry but this was a very stereotyped response, placing all the blame on the women and not taking into account that child care is fucking hard to do when you are balancing 5 million other things which, although are definitely not more important than your child, is something that cannot be just left. The only reason my family survived the first lockdown, with me working in healthcare, being deployed and fitting in both ward and community work, with husband working 20 hours a day writing and reviewing COVID clinical and scientific reports, with a 8 month old at home with us, was because my mother was stuck in the UK for 6 months. Everyone did not have that luxury. I could not leave my job, for obvious reasons, I could not be furloughed and my child's care and development did not give a damn about our circumstances or how close to a breakdown my family came, despite the immense support we had, due to all the pressure..

I'm signing off. The number of people who don't actually read comments is staggering. Lives before 'nice to haves' please. Good luck all!

Deciding that some people don’t need preschool care because they are just using them for a “middle class ideal” is shitty and letting the government off the hook. I absolutely care about early years workers and don’t think the current situation is right for them at all. But sneery comments toward desperate parents is a poor response

@anurulz oh and you're right, I should have said parents not women. But then this site should be called parentsnet so..

also - can we please understand government (mis)policy - it is NOT about protecting teachers! It is about stopping people clogging up hospitals. No one and I means no one cares about people getting Covid unless they take up a hospital bed. As soon as all the vulnerable groups are vaccinated - people will be told to get back into work. So yes, anyone who is vulnerable/works in the nursery is in trouble but for everyone else - if you are not going to be vaccinated in the first instance - the government does not care about you. It is not about you......or the kids.

Sorry but all the concern here seems to be massively misunderstanding the current situation

For those anxious about nurserys being open there is a petition below

petition.parliament.uk/petitions/566718

@whereisthejoy

I've made the tough decision of not sending my 2yo back to preschool as I need more childcare help in the afternoons (preschool only take that age for mornings) - this means having my mum as childcare and given she's mid 60s and not great health history, I've had to choose between mum and preschool (until mum has vaccine).

Feeling stung by the comments of how crucial to early development nursery is... what about kids who don't go to nursery even in normal times?

My DC is very well adjusted, a total social butterfly when we bump into others (even strangers) on walks and we play as much as we can with her at home, now I'm worrying about her development being away from nursery for another 6 months!

We had to make the same decision but chose nursery over my mum as our little one could play more with others. She thrives on that and not doing it before was awful to see, she was a sadder version of herself at just turned 3, heartbreaking. If nurseries closed then we'd isolate for ten days and then do a switch and my mum would have her.

If kids don't go to nursery in normal times then that is the decision of the parents and I am sure they take their children to all kinds of other sociable situations like baby and toddler classes, stay and plays and meeting up with friends and family....things that aren't allowed right now. Nursery is a life line for keeping up that interaction right now as nothing else exists.

Thanks for all the responses. How on earth do you think women have managed for centuries, without playgroups and cafes? Talk to your child. Take them for walks. Say hi to people walking their dogs. Read stories. They will cope... Honestly. I know it isn't a middle class ideal but they aren't going to somehow be scarred for life.

This is such a silly post. Most of us have actually had to care for our own children at some point, you know. Weekends/holidays etc.

I love my non-working days at home with DS. We have our own little routine which keeps us very happy.

• DS wakes up around 7 am and comes into our bed. He has a cup of milk and we read stories until 8am.
• We go downstairs and make a lovely breakfast together - usually eggs and soldiers or waffles or pancakes with fruit. Then we put some music on, DS plays with his toys and I clean the house or play with DS.
• Around 10.30 regardless of the weather, we head out for a walk or to the playground. Sometimes we come back for lunch. If it's not raining, we often take a picnic lunch with us and stay out until around 2pm.
• Depending on what we've been doing and how tired he is, DS may have a nap or not. If he does, I tend to catch up with some work. If not, we do more reading together or he plays with his toys.
• Depending on the weather, we do a craft or painting activity, baking or go out in the garden to play. We usually do some colouring in together since DS is behind on his fine motor skills.
• More toys. DS is into imaginary play and likes me to play with him a lot of the time. We do train crashes, teddy picnics, doctors and patients and other games.
• Cook dinner together.
• Dinner.
• Run bath. Bathtime with toys.
• Bedtime at 7.30-8pm.

What part of that is compatible with working from home, including spending 4-6 hours a day teaching or doing meetings online?