To have to accept that many in this country just don’t give a shit about others?

[Fortheweekend]

I live in Essex which, like many areas has been heavily hit by Covid.
Just heard on the news that Essex Police have had to issue many, many fines last night to people having New Years Eve parties.
I really deeply saddens me that so many people just don’t give a toss about other people.
They can not see past their own noses. Can they not see or do they not give a shit about the long term costs of their actions? That this goes beyond the virus, that because the NHS is overwhelmed people with potential life threatening conditions such as cancer will be overlooked or diagnosis/treatments delayed as they will not be able to get appointments or appointments cancelled because of too many Covid cases in their hospitals.
That people such as those I work with who suffer from disabilities or people like my poor mum who has Alzheimer’s have been isolated for many, many months and many more to come because support groups open and they and their carers will and are suffering from terrible depression and mental health issues which cut deep and will probably never heal.
Do they not care that people like my 90 year old neighbour who is all alone is shit scared every single day because she feels that she will never be able to live out her last months/years with the freedom she had been used to and genuinely believes she will die alone, without help and never having the freedom to just pop to the shops for she fears she will get the virus.
It truly leaves me feeling nothing but despair as I don’t think we will ever control this virus if people don’t do as asked for the short while it would take.

DownstairsMixup I’m so sorry for your loss. I understand how awful it has been losing someone during this time. My MIL passed away in September. So was terminally ill for weeks and we were unable to be with her, she suffered alone. She passed alone but we were able to sit with her body. I sat with her for 2 hours, I was not allowed out of the room because no one was able to come and get me due to the restrictions of Covid. It will haunt me forever. The funeral was awful, hardly anyone was able to attend and we were actually locked in the church by the vicar so that no-one else could get in. Everything about this year has been just horrendous.

The older I get, the more people disappoint me and the more animals enrich me. A crisis brings out the worse and the best in some people. People's selfishness is magnified as is a few people's kindness.
It does make me sad and angry when I see people flouting and bending the rules to meet their own wishes but you can only change and improve yourself.

I called my uncle and aunt last night for a video chat (they’d got a positive COVID result yesterday morning). My cousin and his girlfriend were also sat on the sofa. When I said to my cousin (late 20’s, lives in his own house) “sorry that you’ve got it too” he said “I dunno, maybe I’ve got it”. For goodness sake!! They’re all total idiots 🙈

100% agree.

I fucking hate this place at the moment. So many selfish bastards who think they're too good to make sacrifices or, even worse, use absolute bollox they got off facebook to justify why they don't need to.

HATE them!!!

Oh to be in New Zealand.

Gypsywater yes I agree. These types of people aren't very bright, and/or lack empathy. They will also be the first to moan if their medical needs aren't met.

People are selfish.

It's no surprise. We knew this already when so many voted Brexit

An ex friend of mine has carried on holidaying, partying as she pleases.
It sickens me but its out of my control.

OP I'm in Devon. I felt quite proud of Devon NHS last night when I heard we had taken some critically ill people from Essex into Derriford Hospital in Plymouth. I know it can feel very every man for himself at the moment but I think it is just that they make more noise.

Lets hope for improvements in 2021.

@Sinful8 has been spreading their hate all around the forum today

OP, I was dismayed too when I saw the Essex stories - I’m Essex born and bred and we’ve all been following the rules, including my teenagers and twenty-something children. Yes it’s hard, but it’s not forever and I just don’t get it.

I do agree with you that people are selfish. I am following the rules, I can be fairly forgiving of people wanting to see immediate family this far in to the pandemic, and people people thinking they have given up a lot to suppress this virus which they personally are at little risk from. But having house parties, despite knowing what’s on the news about hospitals at the moment, I do think is very selfish.

I am surprised at how many people seem to think ethical living starts and ends with Covid. People really want to start educating themselves about the effects of climate change on vulnerable populations, for example in Yemen whether people have more than enough to worry about anyway. I struggle with the inconsistency of those who think it is selfish for people to want to see family because it might affect people in this country, but think it is far too much trouble to try to take fewer foreign holidays, choose more ethically sourced products, use fewer single use products...

I’m all for changing the way we live to try to avoid harming others, but it extends way beyond covid.

Most people don’t care the effect of our western lifestyle on some developing nations because it doesn’t affect them - not so different really to those who don’t follow the rules because they aren’t vulnerable to covid.

How long do you expect young and healthy people to put their lives on hold though?

As time goes on and vaccinations are more prevalent, it makes sense for those of you that are vulnerable/in contact with vulnerable people to continue to isolate whilst the rest of us get on with life.

This is of course anecdotal but I have noticed a correlation between those who voted brexit and have more right wing views (those who tend to be more lacking in empathy) and blatant disregard for the lockdown rules

I do have a lot of sympathy for young people and those financially impacted by this but we are in the midst of a particularly bad patch with an end in sight because of the vaccine, it can't be too much to ask for everyone to take this seriously for the final stretch

I agree. It’s depressing how selfish people are.

Rich people and celebrities flying around willy nilly.

People arguing about vaccine priority and some elderly moaning that they want two doses of vaccine rather than many more people getting one dose.

People thinking their rights to do whatever trumps the greater good.

Do we actually know if those who are having houseparties are all young? What ARE the ages of those who are charged? And their social class and ethnicity? Are there trends?

It’s a funny old world, isn’t it OP?
Yes it saddens me, too, but I do know that there’s also a lot of kindness and compassion, respect and social responsibility too.
You’ll hear about the fines, but I bet that for every fined irresponsible household, there are 10 others that are abiding by the rules - you won’t hear about them, naturally, because it’s not deemed newsworthy.

I think people have been pretty bloody good at following the rules, and I think the virus spreads because it’s a virus, and not because of rule breakers, in the main.

Completely agree with this. I dislike the way the narrative from the beginning is about blame and fault. "Don't kill granny". We wouldn't ever tell someone it's their own fault they came down with flu, or their child had chicken pox. But from the start there has been this way of separating this particular virus from all other viruses, indicating that it's not spread in the same way as any other virus, but purely by people being naughty and flagrantly blatantly flouting the rules.

Viruses spread. It's what they do.

I agree. Our local police issues a high number of fines last night too. These people are either selfish, totally lack empathy or don't believe Covid exists...or a combo of all three. Either way it is very disheartening.

@TheGreatWave

Many people aren't being as thoughtful as they think they are when it steps outside covid. The name calling, the accusations have been horrific.

Ultimately though most people look out for them and theirs. Am I following the rules out of some duty to protect others? Not really, I am just trying to protect me and my own.

This 100%.

@Vitaminsss, just to point out we are all in contact with people who are vulnerable for one reason or another. You can't separate "the vulnerable" from society.

Yeh I can’t believe all the selfish people, who think it’s ok to put an entire population under house arrest, to ban children from going to school, to make decisions for others about when and it what circumstances they can see and hug their loved ones, who think it’s ok to force people to die alone, who would ban weddings, religious gatherings, funerals, who have no thought for destroying livelihoods that people have invested their lives in creating. All for the sake of assuaging their own irrational anxieties over a fairly ordinary pathogen, that is only dangerous to a small minority of the population.

YANBU It is horrible, people are so selfish. And it's not just about the elderly, or the children at schools either. There are children needing chemo for leukaemia and other cancers/illnesses that mean these vulnerable and sick innocent little children are having their lives risked because of their compromised immunity. I wish people would just think of others. The sooner people isolate and try and contain, then hopefully eradicate this virus, the better.

@NataliaOsipova

I don’t think people do care about others - not really. Not outside their immediate group, anyway. There’s a lot of virtue signalling that goes on, but that’s for the benefit of the individuals doing it more than anything.

That might be your perception but a lot of people do try to think beyond immediate needs and try to consider wider society. If people are doing that quietly, how would you know? People I barely knew were amazingly generous with my family in a time of need. One stranger acted completely anonymously. All acted quietly. I was actually astonished. There are lots of kind and decent people who think beyond their own needs and that of their immediate circle and often you would not know at all.

Society has largely become selfish, self serving and materialistic. Most people (Not all, in fairness but most of the ones I come into contact with) are dull, poorly educated, judgemental, economically successful and beyond tedious.
It's therefore entirely predictable that a large swathe of the population just doesn't 'get it'.
Fact is, they don't get anything outside of their pathetic, self serving, ridiculous bubble.