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Original poster

Had the call from care home my mum has Covid

161 replies

Kenworthington · 31/12/2020 13:23

Just now. Sad
She’s 81, type 1 diabetic, heart failure, had a massive heart attack in March , worsening vascular dementia. It’s not going to go well is it? My dad who’s end stage dementia in the same home has tested negative but I imagine it’s only a matter of time. The home is riddled with it apparently 😔

OP posts:
HairyFloppins · 11/01/2021 12:30

So sorry Flowers

AlwaysLatte · 11/01/2021 12:35

I've just seen this thread. Awful news, I'm so sorry. I'm sure she feels more content knowing you've seen her 💐

ScrapThatThen · 11/01/2021 13:08

What is your nicest memory of your Mum, Ken? And how was it saying your goodbyes? Think of her in a way that brings you peace x

Original poster
Kenworthington · 11/01/2021 21:10

Thank you for your lovely messages. Somehow, somehow , she must still be holding on because I’ve STILL not had the call to say she’s passed. What a rollercoaster. The worst rollercoaster in the world.
First I was just going to see her through the window. I’d kind of prepared myself but she looked so much worse than I’d anticipated. I mean, I’ve never seen anyone dying before so even though I have looked after her when she’s been poorly and when she had her heart attack last hear I wasn’t prepared for today. So of course immediately I broke down. Then the lovely care manager suggested I might want to go and sit with her and I was so scared. My hands were shaking. Anyway I got fully PPE’ed up. She came in with me. I held Mums hand (through bloody plastic gloves), I talked a bit to her and told her I loved her. Her breaths were intermittent and shallow then sudden deeper ones. She pretty much had her eyes shut the whole time but she opened them once but they didn’t look like her eyes Sad
Anyway I stayed maybe 10 mins and the carer suggested I might want to leave to minimize risk of infection to me but she said I could come back again at the very end but it would be hard to judge when exactly that would be. To be honest i thought she would have passed by now. It’s been a really emotional day. It was really hard seeing her but I’m glad I’ve done it as I know I would have regretted it if I hadn’t.
She was so lovely, kind and caring. She looked after everyone. She looked after her parents then latterly my dad. It’s been just me and her really for a good 5/6 years now since dad went into a home and we became friends as well as mum/daughter. She used to love to hear all about any gossip and excitement. Abs she was wonderful with the dc esp when they were little. I will miss her so so much and I am just so sad right now

OP posts:
Babymamaroon · 11/01/2021 21:20

I am so very sorry to hear what you're going through @Kenworthington

Am sending you much love Thanks

harriethoyle · 11/01/2021 21:37

@Kenworthington my heart breaks for you - it's just horrendous. I know this will be scant comfort but, having lost my Mum last August, the last moments I spent with her and knowing I'd done my best for her have really helped me over the last few months. I really hope today helps you in time x

Original poster
Kenworthington · 12/01/2021 22:12

After the longest most agonizing wait ever, she has passed away Sad

OP posts:
frustrationcentral · 12/01/2021 22:18

Oh @Kenworthington , I'm so very sorry Sad

BeakyWinder · 12/01/2021 22:30

I'm so sorry OP, devastating Flowers

Unsure33 · 12/01/2021 22:33

So sorry . But glad you got to hold her hand and say goodbye.

💐

Hotcuppatea · 12/01/2021 22:35

Bless you. Take good care of yourself. Tough times ahead Flowers

CoxwellHuge · 12/01/2021 22:41

So sorry for your loss, we went through the same with my FIL a couple of weeks before Christmas, although thankfully was reasonably quick with him. It's an awful situation to go through and the funeral unfortunately didn't provide much comfort due to the restrictions. We are planning to have a memorial service/wake when restrictions are lifted enough to allow an unlimited gathering to get together and celebrate his life and share memories.

Hope the arrangements go smoothly Thanks

coldtenant · 12/01/2021 22:58

So sorry for you Flowers Take care of yourself lovely

Ismellphantoms · 12/01/2021 23:03

I'm so sorry. It's just so horrible to have your mum pass away. It's the anniversary of my mum's passing today and I miss her so much. I really feel for you.

BarelyMerry · 12/01/2021 23:04

So sorry OPThanks

Itwontrainallthetime · 12/01/2021 23:06

So very sorry 💐

TheSockMonster · 12/01/2021 23:18

I am so, so sorry you have lost your lovely mother Flowers

Maverickess · 12/01/2021 23:19

I'm so sorry OP, it's devastating to lose a parent no matter the circumstances. Hope you have some real life support as well as here.

Natsel84 · 12/01/2021 23:41

@Kenworthington my heart breaks for you , I lost my father to covid in October, if you need to vent my inbox is always open

daisydalrymple · 12/01/2021 23:50

Oh kenworthington I’m so sorry to read this. I’m so glad you got to spend time with her at the end.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 12/01/2021 23:59

I'm so sorryThanks

HairyFloppins · 13/01/2021 00:09

So sorry Op Sad

She sounds lovely.

Babyroobs · 13/01/2021 00:10

So sorry to read this.

EachDubh · 13/01/2021 00:20

Sorry to hear this, 💔
Be kind to yourself and take the time you need x

echt · 13/01/2021 00:29

So very sorry to hear this, KenWorthington

Thanks
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