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Original poster

So how the F are we meant to work?

656 replies

Littlewhitedove2 · 30/12/2020 18:25

3 primary age kids. One parent left who won’t leave their house except the shops much less come anywhere near me or the kids. Inlaws in a similar position.
Primary school closed. It won’t be 2 weeks - it will be far longer than that.
Husband full time work.
I work part time as much as I can around school but not critical worker.
How do women work now?

OP posts:
Porcupineintherough · 31/12/2020 00:32

You can ask the elderly to stay home and very many are, but our ICUs are full of people in their r0s, 50s and 60s and most of us in these age brackets work for a living.

bombaychef · 31/12/2020 00:33

Thousands of us had this for months... back to where we were. Two working parents and kids trying to home school. Nothing changes

wasgoingmadinthecountry · 31/12/2020 00:33

Seriously, if you were told 5 of your colleagues were going to breather right in your face, 3 were going to sneeze over you and one was going to spit on you accidentally while you were supervising lunch, would you feel comfortable? These things all happen all the time in school and there are loads of asymptomatic kids out there. Which is why the nearest ICU beds to us are currently 128 miles away.

ReesMoggsGlasses · 31/12/2020 00:34

Anyway... I'm looking forward to a full curriculum of online learning, via video, especially as they've had 9 months to perfect.

Of course, that's RIDICULOUS of me, isn't it, it'll be back to printing off duff twinkl sheets, no online videos or lessons and maybe getting a phone call if we are lucky, once a quarter.

2boysand1princess · 31/12/2020 00:35

@OppsUpsSide

I am starting to better understand why the government are so concerned about some children isolating at home with their parents.
🤣🤣🤣 Sooey shouldn’t laugh but that just made me pmsl
CountessFrog · 31/12/2020 00:36

Busting a gut, Rees. On your knees.

2boysand1princess · 31/12/2020 00:36

*sorry

ReesMoggsGlasses · 31/12/2020 00:36

@wasgoingmadinthecountry

Seriously, if you were told 5 of your colleagues were going to breather right in your face, 3 were going to sneeze over you and one was going to spit on you accidentally while you were supervising lunch, would you feel comfortable? These things all happen all the time in school and there are loads of asymptomatic kids out there. Which is why the nearest ICU beds to us are currently 128 miles away.
As a tube traveller this is my journey every single day, running the gauntlet of infections, it's not exclusive to teachers
cloudchaos · 31/12/2020 00:36

It's a good job not every family prioritises the highest salary at the expense of the other partner's "less valuable" job or we would find ourselves in an even worse mess with no nurses etc.

Yes It's pretty much impossible to look after two small kids and work at the same time, so you have my sympathy, but if you weren't around your DH would quite simply have to step up and speak to his employer and get involved. They are his responsibly too.

It's a global pandemic. Americans are aware of this too. I work for a large US corporate and have not needed to explain that my children need looking after etc. Honestly unless he's working on the vaccine and saving lives I can't see what is so important that it's impossible for him to help out with the children he's equally responsible for. We are all less efficient during a pandemic with kids at home, most reasonable employers understand this. If his company is so unreasonable not to, I suggest he starts considering whether this is the company he wants to remain at, as I'm not sure id be wanting to bust a gut working from 8-7pm for a company that seemed to value me so little.

2boysand1princess · 31/12/2020 00:38

@cloudchaos

It's a good job not every family prioritises the highest salary at the expense of the other partner's "less valuable" job or we would find ourselves in an even worse mess with no nurses etc.

Yes It's pretty much impossible to look after two small kids and work at the same time, so you have my sympathy, but if you weren't around your DH would quite simply have to step up and speak to his employer and get involved. They are his responsibly too.

It's a global pandemic. Americans are aware of this too. I work for a large US corporate and have not needed to explain that my children need looking after etc. Honestly unless he's working on the vaccine and saving lives I can't see what is so important that it's impossible for him to help out with the children he's equally responsible for. We are all less efficient during a pandemic with kids at home, most reasonable employers understand this. If his company is so unreasonable not to, I suggest he starts considering whether this is the company he wants to remain at, as I'm not sure id be wanting to bust a gut working from 8-7pm for a company that seemed to value me so little.

Agree with this so much
wasgoingmadinthecountry · 31/12/2020 00:38

We haven't had 9 months to perfect because we've been teaching and filling all the gaps for the last 9 months but personally, yes, I have emailed all of my parents today to organise a google meet for Monday morning to make sure they are all on board. I've spent some of my Christmas recording our book for the term in chapters and will speak to them "live" at least twice a day.

Maybe your children are just at a bad school?

ReesMoggsGlasses · 31/12/2020 00:39

@wasgoingmadinthecountry

We haven't had 9 months to perfect because we've been teaching and filling all the gaps for the last 9 months but personally, yes, I have emailed all of my parents today to organise a google meet for Monday morning to make sure they are all on board. I've spent some of my Christmas recording our book for the term in chapters and will speak to them "live" at least twice a day.

Maybe your children are just at a bad school?

It's not a bad school actually, they just went on sabbatical for the summer - and don't give me that anyway, as I know from just browsing Mumsnet this experience definitely wasn't a one off
wasgoingmadinthecountry · 31/12/2020 00:39

Oh and I've organised my 16yo daughter to talk the less confident parents through the process. That's because I care. Never said I didn't. Just want to be safe and alive for my family.

CountessFrog · 31/12/2020 00:39

Was going mad, you sound like a really fab teacher ❤️

5zeds · 31/12/2020 00:40

@Littlewhitedove2

“5zeds
One works early, one works late, lunch hours staggered, and you make up hours in the evening. Easier if one of you is already part time.”
And if one needs to work 8:30-7pm because of overseas conference call times and heaps of extra work during covid?
Grin that’s a short day for my dp. How many hours do you work and how many are fixed?

ReesMoggsGlasses · 31/12/2020 00:41

@wasgoingmadinthecountry

Oh and I've organised my 16yo daughter to talk the less confident parents through the process. That's because I care. Never said I didn't. Just want to be safe and alive for my family.
Perhaps we could clone you, as god knows the level of proactively you've just demonstrated hasn't happened at our school
OverTheRubicon · 31/12/2020 00:41

@ReesMoggsGlasses

Anyway... I'm looking forward to a full curriculum of online learning, via video, especially as they've had 9 months to perfect.

Of course, that's RIDICULOUS of me, isn't it, it'll be back to printing off duff twinkl sheets, no online videos or lessons and maybe getting a phone call if we are lucky, once a quarter.

During what time? First time around we had useless provision but since then the school has, like.most, worked hard to provide more for those at home / isolating.

However even if they do, that's not easy either - I've got 3 young DC and when we had to isolate recently I was not able to keep up with two sets.of home learning plus a toddler all.day. of they provide too much that will further disadvantage children whose families already have challenges affording laptops,.speaking English or having dedicated time for care. Leave off the teachers, I joined in being grumpy.last lockdown but this time surely even the least motivated has had to earn their salary and then much more over the past crazy term.

wasgoingmadinthecountry · 31/12/2020 00:42

As a tube traveller this is my journey every single day, running the gauntlet of infections, it's not exclusive to teachers

Not the same. Plus lots of teachers do this but too.

ReesMoggsGlasses · 31/12/2020 00:42

@wasgoingmadinthecountry

As a tube traveller this is my journey every single day, running the gauntlet of infections, it's not exclusive to teachers

Not the same. Plus lots of teachers do this but too.

Course it's not the same, teachers are the worst off
wasgoingmadinthecountry · 31/12/2020 00:44

Perhaps we could clone you, as god knows the level of proactively you've just demonstrated hasn't happened at our school

Sorry to hear that.Most of my colleagues are going way way beyond, many spending lots of their own money too.

bombaychef · 31/12/2020 00:45

My partners employer were horrendous last time and expect it again. Zero allowance for two primary kids at home. I worked in bits during day plus evenings. Kids left to own devices a lot. We were desperate to be furloughed. Literally desperate

wasgoingmadinthecountry · 31/12/2020 00:46

Course it's not the same, teachers are the worst off

Really not my point of view. My doctor/nurse friends have it far worse.

Wherehavetheteletubbiesgone · 31/12/2020 00:47

Both parents who consented to bring a child onto the world need to step up. This isn't a problem for women to solve on their own. Husbands need to step up.

wasgoingmadinthecountry · 31/12/2020 00:52

@countessfrog

Thank you! (Assuming you haven't taken on the MN sarcasm...) - I work in the most amazing little rural primary school where all of our staff give far more than 100% and our parents are fab too. Our secretary's husband does most of the DIY for free, my son cuts down the brambles (well, I pay him from my own pocket because he has to be paid, and a colleague's dad does lots of lovely building stuff to make KS1 exciting. Lunchtime supervisor buys new cups for kids from her own money as the old ones re so skanky.... I could go on.
Zero budget but we do our best. We have really proactive governors too. And there are so many schools like ours out there. Honestly.

2boysand1princess · 31/12/2020 00:53

Not being funny but I think some people have forgotten it’s a global pandemic.
With the vaccine news today hopefully this shit show won’t continue for too long, but for now we really haven’t got much option so will need to find ways to make it work for us. As a PP stated, if OP wasn’t around for whatever reason then her DH would have no choice but to step up.

A close friend of mine recently quit work. She has 3 kids. 2 in primary. She works part time and DH full time. They both chip in and do their bit. Anyway, she’s been working from home and also watching her 3 DC during the first lockdown. She was barely coping, homeschooling with 3 kids and working from home is truly challenging for us all.
Cut a long story short she recently resigned, but not because she couldn’t cope with her kids at home, but because her eldest was diagnosed with MH a while ago and she needs constant one to one supervision.
The point I’m making is, pre covid, what would you have done for childcare if god forbid one of your children ended up ill and not able to attend school anymore?
This is only for a short while hopefully, we’ve come this far and managed to survive just need to keep going a little longer. It’s a pandemic it will end.
Life can throw all sorts of surprises and especially when you have children circumstances can change in an instant and we have to adapt until things go back to “normal” it’s part of the package that comes with being a parent. Sacrifices that we have to make unfortunately, but better times will come.