Page 4 | Anyone finding that the responses from people 'in real life' differ wildly from those on here?

TinselToedElf · 29/12/2020 13:44

I think around 99% of people I know in real life agree with and are following the rules. Vast majority agree schools should close until they can be made safe for teachers.

Everyone I know are weary from the pandemic but will keep following the restrictions, a few haven't seen their parents in months.

IcedPurple · 29/12/2020 13:45

She gave examples of what she meant. Don't diss her post if you can't even be bothered to read it hmm.

She gave one example of what she considered 'unreasonable' rule breaking. She didn't give any examples of what she subjectively deems to be 'reasonable' rule breaking.

DameFanny · 29/12/2020 13:47

@IcedPurple

She gave examples of what she meant. Don't diss her post if you can't even be bothered to read it hmm.

She gave one example of what she considered 'unreasonable' rule breaking. She didn't give any examples of what she subjectively deems to be 'reasonable' rule breaking.

Oh good, a bar room lawyer

Hardbackwriter · 29/12/2020 13:51

I can get only think of one person I know in real life that is bending the rules to an unreasonable extent e.g. having friends for dinner inside their house several times a week throughout all the lockdowns.

But she can't be some total outlier if she's finding multiple people a week to break the rules with her? You might not know those people but she obviously knows lots of people who aren't following the law.

IcedPurple · 29/12/2020 13:51

Oh good, a bar room lawyer

Why are you being so unpleasant?

We could all justify our own rule breaking by saying it is 'reasonable'. What's 'reasonable' to one person might be completely unreasonable to another. That's why I'm interested to know how the poster defines 'reasonable' rule breaking. If you're not interested, jog on.

HappyWinter · 29/12/2020 14:00

Most people I know are bumbling along from day to day, mostly sticking to the rules, especially on indoor meeting where it is the most risky. There's been bending on the rules on the number of people meeting outside but nothing major or risky. Everyone is fed up but coping and understands why there were lockdowns or schools were closed, even if it has been hard for them. Lots of parents have struggled with working when the schools were shut and it has been hard on the kids too. I have one anti-lockdown family member, who ironically is the most vulnerable one, who thinks everything should be back to normal.

Just hoping the schools don't have to close again, that will be tough. The hospital admissions numbers aren't looking good.

ssd · 29/12/2020 17:57

@PhilCornwall1

Yep, totally different. Only on here am I hearing that people are sticking to the rules or not going out and the fact that anyone not doing what they think is selfish.

In reality, everyone I know is doing what they want when they want.

This amazes me.

I dont know a single person doing what they want.

I can imagine the cases in

NoSquirrels · 29/12/2020 18:18

I don't know people who are hugely breaking rules. But I'd say 99% of them are breaking some/calculating what they see as their own risks when it comes to meeting family and friends.

I think it’s this, along with a Don’t Ask Don’t Tell attitude round by us. We’re in a lower tier than many and I have absolutely no interest in policing anyone’s behaviour. Most people I know are doing their best.

Original poster

CrackALack · 29/12/2020 19:11

and I have absolutely no interest in policing anyone’s behaviour

Yep me too. I know my neighbours have broken rules, had family inside. I genuinely couldn't care less let alone report them for it. She's not having house parties, I'm not going to lose sleep over her having her sister over for a brew.

OP posts:

OpheliasCrayon · 29/12/2020 19:14

@cardibach
I don't care because I've had something much much much worse happen in the not too distant past and I'd hazard a guess that since I've lost a child, I'm kinda desensitized to most things. I also have very complex health issues so dealing with health risks are a very normal part of our family life, unfortunately (for my partner and kids, I feel bad for them having to deal with me).

I'm CEV, and haven't shielded, I've worked throughout as sen schools dont shut and I've never been worried. But as to my above point, the last time I really worried my child died so, I'm probably not the best person to be wondering if my response is normal or not!

When I say I've not followed the rules, it's nothing massive by the way, more things like, a Saturday playdate with someone that my kids had been in school with all week or something. I've not done anything drastic or anything and mostly stuck to stuff.

cardibach · 29/12/2020 19:53

@OpheliasCrayon I’m very sorry to hear about your child. That’s terribly sad and difficult.
I hope it isn’t too callous to say though, that spreading the anti-lockdown, anti any sort of mitigation approach you do is going to lead to more people suffering loss of loved ones. Please try to see that the two things (your loss and sensible responses to the pandemic) are not connected.

hopingforonlychild · 29/12/2020 19:57

The people I know IRL are far more supportive of restrictions. I know people who wouldn't go to non essential shops even when they were open and were at home all the time. with the exception of one of my MIL's friends, everyone i know wants to follow the rules. Its only on Mumsnet that i see people questioning lockdown, its really interesting to read!

ragged · 29/12/2020 20:00

SM:
People I follow on Twitter have a diversity of views. If they annoy me I unfollow so I am the person who edits the opinions I see.

Facebook friends: very few post opinions. I don't want Facebook friends who are just bundles of opinions; or I'll hide them. Some I mute if they annoy me.

I don't follow other SM. My friends in real life express worries & frustrations but not very strongly about how all the world should work. I probably edit who these people are, too.

So I basically get exposed to people whose opinions I want to agree with or at least tolerate. It seems to me like if you are exposed to lots of one type of opinion on SM -- you must share that opinion, or enjoy seeing it. Or you would not be seeing it.

I hide a lot of MN threads & topics too & shun certain posters here, too.

hopingforonlychild · 29/12/2020 20:00

The people I know IRL are far more supportive of restrictions. I know people who wouldn't go to non essential shops even when they were open and were at home all the time. with the exception of one of my MIL's friends, everyone i know wants to follow the rules. Its only on Mumsnet that i see people questioning lockdown, its really interesting to read!

But then again I don't know anyone who can't do their work from home so this is probably a skewed picture with the exception of my SIL who is a musician but as she is a young upstart musician, she didn't have many paid gigs even pre covid and she has managed to move a lot of her teaching online...

OpheliasCrayon · 29/12/2020 21:49

[quote cardibach]@OpheliasCrayon I’m very sorry to hear about your child. That’s terribly sad and difficult.
I hope it isn’t too callous to say though, that spreading the anti-lockdown, anti any sort of mitigation approach you do is going to lead to more people suffering loss of loved ones. Please try to see that the two things (your loss and sensible responses to the pandemic) are not connected.[/quote]
I spread absolutely nothing.
I gave an opinion on an online forum as the question was asked directly. Then I was questioned and anwered again.
Irl, I barely discuss it, it doesn't come up as a topic that's discussed at length and if for example a kid that my kids been in school with, wants a play date after school on the exact same day, then I will go ahead.
I have a friend i see for both our mental health needs .
But, I don't actively spread anything. If someone has an opinion, I don't mind if it's different to mine. I make my position clear that I work in a very risky environment and if someone wishes to see me that's fine by me. Some friends have changed their mind recently, and that's also fine.
I spread nothing, and I'm anti nothing. Unless I've chosen to answer a question online.

And I'm afraid yes it is a little callous. I do not wish anyone ill, ever. I haven't taken any risks which would cause any more harm than had already been done whilst following the rules. See above - kid seeing a kid they've seen all day.

I have no social life, hate shopping, hate hugs and like small distances and few people so I have always followed those rules anyway!

But, whilst I am absolutely clear that no death is ok, and I understand that dying with no loved ones is deeply upsetting and traumatic for the person and their family, unless you have held the lifeless body of your own child, and know that's everything you should have lived out with that child, along with your surviving ones, will never ever happen, and it isn't just one Xmas that i won't have my child... It's every single one.. unless you've experience that (and for all I know you have, but I would be surprised at your comment to me to be honest).... Then no you can't call me callous for not being worried / upset / giving my opinion on a pandemic.

AlwaysLatte · 29/12/2020 21:51

In total honesty I don't know a single person not following the rules.

reformedcharacters · 29/12/2020 22:14

OpheliasCrayon

So sorry for your loss, your pain must be unimaginable 💐

NoSquirrels · 29/12/2020 22:22

I know people who wouldn't go to non essential shops even when they were open and were at home all the time.

I don’t really go to “non-essential shops”. Or pubs/restaurants etc. But my established habit is not to shop much anyway, don’t eat out loads etc so it’s no hardship to me to stay away. But I have felt guilty about that, actually- as I said, we’re in a lower tier than many, we’ve no particular reason to avoid it, and probably we ought to be spending our money on the local high street and with the hospitality places we want to see survive this.

It’s not that there’s one responsible thing to do in this ridiculous year. There’s lots of decisions and information to process and react to. If you’re in Tier 4, or total lockdown like March-June, it’s easy, if dull. Everyone is doing the same. As soon as things stopped being easy, the “responsible thing to do” was suddenly less clear. I just can’t judge anyone for their decisions. I’d actually like to - black/white and no shades of grey would be easier all round.

getwhatyougive · 29/12/2020 22:32

Completely. I don’t know anyone in real life salivating at the thought of another lockdown. MN seems positively desperate for one.

We’re all just hoping school stays open next week for some normality.

The thread on here from the poster asking if she should report her own child for breaking T4 rules was horrifying. I don’t know anyone who would even consider such a thing in real life??

Chessie678 · 29/12/2020 22:38

I've often thought this and as people have said people on the covid forum are going to be particularly engaged with covid, whether they support restrictions or not. Also agree that people might not be totally honest about their rule breaking, particularly when talking to people whom they know are sterilising their shopping and support another year or two of "full lockdown". I certainly wouldn't broadcast any rule-breaking if I was in that position.

Of the people I know (mostly mid 30s parents) most are no longer scared of covid and are not clear on the intricacies of the rules any more, mostly because they are not following the news closely e.g. have looked at me blankly when I've talked about support bubbles for under 1s, Christmas bubble rules, rules on how many people you can meet outside. They are doing everything they can do within the rules plus most are seeing family, sometimes within the rules and sometimes not. If you asked them they would say that they follow the rules though and some of them complain about others not following them, particularly people not wearing masks properly. I don't have any friends who are avoiding the supermarket or wear a mask in the street or similar. Things also feel fairly normal when you walk around my city (at least if you ignore all the closed up businesses) and there's no jumping into the road to avoid someone anymore - I accept that the people who are out are those most likely to be behaving normally though.

I have some older relatives who are very careful in some fairly arbitrary ways, so they don't go to the supermarket and don't travel very far but will see family and go to a couple of their regular cafes. They seem to support lockdown to the extent that it doesn't affect them so they think that their local cafe should be allowed to open and that schools should be closed.

user1471555064 · 29/12/2020 22:40

@CrackALack

Is anyone else finding this?

I feel like every single person I know and who I see on SM etc... Has a very different response to those I see on here.

It seems people in my 'real life' simply don't care anymore. I don't know a single person who supports another lockdown or schools closing or some of the more extreme views about enforced house arrest or martial law people seem to love the idea of on here.

If I weren't to read MN I'd have said the govt are lucky to be getting the level of compliance they are getting already and any stricter restrictions will just be ignored by the majority now.

People have had enough of the ever changing guidelines, of their businesses going down the pan, of their jobs being at risk and so on.

I'm not suggesting it isn't selfish, but I think it's unrealistic to expect people to be consistently selfless when they are being affected in so many other ways than just Covid, mental health, financially and so on...

There just seems to be such a stark contrast.

I completely agree with this! Most people I know aren’t sticking to the rules fully and don’t judge others. They just get on with life in the best way they can. People on here can be so scathing of others who are seen as having a different opinion to them! MN appears full of many left wing middle class posters who are extremely judgemental of anyone who doesn’t think like they do! Totally unrepresentative of real life where I live.