Anyone finding that the responses from people 'in real life' differ wildly from those on here?

[CrackALack]

Is anyone else finding this?

I feel like every single person I know and who I see on SM etc... Has a very different response to those I see on here.

It seems people in my 'real life' simply don't care anymore. I don't know a single person who supports another lockdown or schools closing or some of the more extreme views about enforced house arrest or martial law people seem to love the idea of on here.

If I weren't to read MN I'd have said the govt are lucky to be getting the level of compliance they are getting already and any stricter restrictions will just be ignored by the majority now.

People have had enough of the ever changing guidelines, of their businesses going down the pan, of their jobs being at risk and so on.

I'm not suggesting it isn't selfish, but I think it's unrealistic to expect people to be consistently selfless when they are being affected in so many other ways than just Covid, mental health, financially and so on...

There just seems to be such a stark contrast.

And fwiw, I have lost my job (main breadwinner) and self-employed dh's income is totally fucked as a result of the pandemic, plus we have a dd in year 11 doing her GCSEs this year.

I still think that we should be doing more to combat the spread of the virus.

Also there is a response bias at play. Those who post it read about CV19 are preoccupied by it. Those who hide the posts don’t want to engage.

I’m shocked by the numbers of people who are refusing to get the vaccine. Including vulnerable people. Just look at the latest polls. That shows you how little vast swathes of the population care about Covid

Your social media is likely also an echo chamber: likely to be stratified in terms of area, income, education level, even religion and political beliefs. It’s also not anonymous, and contrarianism might be the accepted norm within your social circle. Others have outlined the issue from grasping an overview of public opinion from MN. I’d suggest looking at a YouGov poll or similar good quality survey eg MTurk to see a representative sample of public opinion.

I would say that the majority of people I know IRL are following the guidelines - or at most breaking it in small ways (meeting in group of 7 rather than 6, for example). I don't know anyone having mass gatherings or meeting people inside when we've not been allowed to do this. Not a curtain twitcher, but the lack of traffic on my road suggests my neighbours are doing similarly. But, I accept to some degree I'm in an echo chamber - I think I'd find it hard to stay friends with someone who was wholesale ignoring guidelines.

However, I equally don't know anyone shouting or hard lockdown or for schools to shut. My experience has been that those with no school age children or only children in primary school don't actually realise how unsafe secondary schools are (no disrespect to school staff who are doing their best within the limits of what they can do). But those with secondary school children are certainly wanting secondary schools to be safer - not shut.

“The people I spend time with think the same as me”

Shocker.

Also there is a response bias at play. Those who post it read about CV19 are preoccupied by it. Those who hide the posts don’t want to engage.

This is definitely true on MN, but to an extent in real life too. It makes me smile when the MN-ers who are absolutely furious at anyone breaching the rules, call them murderers, etc. insist that everyone they know in real life is not just sticking to the rules but going far beyond them they're so cautious - does it not occur to them that, just possibly, people aren't telling them exactly what they're up to?

@XmasSkies2020

Also there is a response bias at play. Those who post it read about CV19 are preoccupied by it. Those who hide the posts don’t want to engage.

I’m shocked by the numbers of people who are refusing to get the vaccine. Including vulnerable people. Just look at the latest polls. That shows you how little vast swathes of the population care about Covid

Totally agree with this

I’m shocked by the numbers of people who are refusing to get the vaccine. Including vulnerable people. Just look at the latest polls. That shows you how little vast swathes of the population care about Covid

I wonder how much this is because many people still don't know anyone who has had Covid (or only someone who had a bit of a cough that lasted 2 days) much less anyone who has died or been seriously ill from it. So it seems like something remote that happens to other people.

I live in an area that has gone from the bottom 20% of infected areas in the UK to the top 10% in the last month. I am very much seeing a different in attitude locally as cases have rocketed - people are much more worried. My parents live in a low incidence area and have spent most of the pandemic thinking the whole thing is a lot of nonsense - however even they were shocked into thinking differently when my brother's area (where they'd intended to spend Christmas) moved to Tier 4, and subsequently when DS's 2 closest friends both came down with Covid (one quite badly) as it made the whole thing rather less theoretical.

I don't talk about it in real life, but when I do its usually with someone who is in the process of breaking the rules whilst going on a long rant about people breaking the rules. And then says "obviously us having a coffee together isn't a big risk" .

@MintyMabel

“The people I spend time with think the same as me”

Shocker.

Someone felt the need to be a sarcastic twat... Shocker.

@Tootletum

I don't talk about it in real life, but when I do its usually with someone who is in the process of breaking the rules whilst going on a long rant about people breaking the rules. And then says "obviously us having a coffee together isn't a big risk" .

I had this totally surreal experience with a friend of mine where she ranted about how terrible the government was for opening pubs, how dangerous it was and how callous Johnson was to allow it - while we were sat having a drink together in a bar. I honestly didn't know if she was joking.

I think in real life people are more realistic. Yes everyone wants to do their best with the pandemic but also recognise that there is more in life than just the pandemic and the world can't just stop. Mumsnet seems to think the world should stop and the only thing we should worry about is the pandemic.

Yes absolutely.

Theres a thread currently about are supermarkets safe? I work in a supermarket and am very anxious and I really dont need making worse. But I need to earn money. And of course it's full of posters saying they get everything delivered and haven't been in a supermarket since march. I dont know anyone who has been living like this, even sheilders I know have been out.

Mn seems to have middle class posters all working from the safety of their home offices.

Yes I only know one person in real life who does supermarket delivery only. Everybody else goes in person.

In my experience, people in real life NEVER TALK ABOUT CLASS, or even think about it more than once in a blue moon. Nobody could care less what supposed 'class' either they or you are, and it makes no difference to everyday life.

Class is an obsession on here.

In RL most people seem to operate a “don’t ask don’t tell” approach to whether friends and family are breaking rules. I think this is probably sensible in terms of long term relationships, given that we all fall in different precise places on the “taking unnecessary risks” to “arbitrary rules that make no sense” scale. And few of us are as logical about it all as we like to think we are, especially when the information we receive seems to vary so much in its reliability.

I can just see how stressed everyone is though. Wherever people fall in terms of the balance between worries about covid and worries about effects of restrictions, the uncertainty for everyone has had the most horrendous impact.

On MN there has been such a daft shift from slating women who don’t work when they have school-aged children, to slating parents (women, chiefly) for counting on children being in school during school hours when they were organising their working hours. All this “can’t be bothered to spend time with your children” stuff can only come from people who just basically feel some kind of thigh-rubbing glee at the thought of parents struggling. Because I don’t find it that hard to think of ways to support fellow parents, even if it’s just through being sympathetic to worries, as well as thinking about the challenge and fear around covid spreading

I knew a few covid deniers who are now in hospital.
Many had a different view back in the summer , but it's worse here now.
I've followed the rules and been scared in case I catch it, but I also understand why some are more blasé or not convinced it's real or ' just the flu' too
The facts are that many hospitals can't cope but the government want the schools to remain open.

There are certainly more extreme views represented on MN that I don't hear in real life. I don't know anyone in real life who would support a hard lockdown with prolonged school closures. I also don't know anyone who thinks wearing a mask is an infringement of their human rights and that it's time to just get back to normal. Most people I know seem to recognise that this is a complicated situation with many risks to balance.

I can get only think of one person I know in real life that is bending the rules to an unreasonable extent e.g. having friends for dinner inside their house several times a week throughout all the lockdowns.

Most people I know have a “Just because you can doesn’t mean you should” attitude and aren’t taking full advantage of what we are allowed to do. For example most are avoiding hair salons, gyms, physical shops, even though these are within the rules.

We’re all fed up of it. Everyone wants it to be over. Hopefully the end is in sight. But where I live, certainly, most people are doing their bit to try and reduce the spread and are very annoyed at those who think they’re too special to do something as mundane as teamwork.

Yep, totally different. Only on here am I hearing that people are sticking to the rules or not going out and the fact that anyone not doing what they think is selfish.

In reality, everyone I know is doing what they want when they want.

I can get only think of one person I know in real life that is bending the rules to an unreasonable extent

How do you define 'unreasonable extent' though? Your definition might be very different from someone else's.

Also, unless you're with your friends all the time - which of course you're not if you're 'following the rules' - then you don't really know what they're doing. You only know what they want you to know. Which may not be the same thing.

@Sitt

On MN there has been such a daft shift from slating women who don’t work when they have school-aged children, to slating parents (women, chiefly) for counting on children being in school during school hours when they were organising their working hours. All this “can’t be bothered to spend time with your children” stuff can only come from people who just basically feel some kind of thigh-rubbing glee at the thought of parents struggling. Because I don’t find it that hard to think of ways to support fellow parents, even if it’s just through being sympathetic to worries, as well as thinking about the challenge and fear around covid spreading

This. I think you can still be supportive of working parents AND think we need a lockdown - but that's not the attitude that so many posters give off. Maybe with less socialising some people's empathy has completely atrophied, it's like they don't realise that there are literally millions of people who fall between the (relative) safety nets for those who are key workers / public sector / financially comfortable when furloughed / able to WFH with kids.

@CrackALack

I honestly read some of the shit on here and think my God, I sincerely hope no one suffering with their MH is reading this. Some posters get practically gleeful at the idea of army in the streets, your phone's being tracked, not seeing anyone outside of your household for the next 10 years... Like they actually actively want to live in a police state. I feel like (not for all but some), all sense of reality has been completely lost!

I think with the NHS workers, it may depend which area you work in. I know a couple who work on Covid wards who are stricter than others who work in an unrelated field for example. I have a friend who's a midwife who saw all her family over Christmas, over multiple days for example.

This characterisation of people worried about the actual pandemic going on and currently worsening is goady fuckery of the worst kind.

Did you not read spurious 's response? Or are you only interested in hearing from people who are 'over it'?

@IcedPurple

I can get only think of one person I know in real life that is bending the rules to an unreasonable extent

How do you define 'unreasonable extent' though? Your definition might be very different from someone else's.

Also, unless you're with your friends all the time - which of course you're not if you're 'following the rules' - then you don't really know what they're doing. You only know what they want you to know. Which may not be the same thing.

She gave examples of what she meant. Don't diss her post if you can't even be bothered to read it .