Anyone finding that the responses from people 'in real life' differ wildly from those on here?

[CrackALack]

Is anyone else finding this?

I feel like every single person I know and who I see on SM etc... Has a very different response to those I see on here.

It seems people in my 'real life' simply don't care anymore. I don't know a single person who supports another lockdown or schools closing or some of the more extreme views about enforced house arrest or martial law people seem to love the idea of on here.

If I weren't to read MN I'd have said the govt are lucky to be getting the level of compliance they are getting already and any stricter restrictions will just be ignored by the majority now.

People have had enough of the ever changing guidelines, of their businesses going down the pan, of their jobs being at risk and so on.

I'm not suggesting it isn't selfish, but I think it's unrealistic to expect people to be consistently selfless when they are being affected in so many other ways than just Covid, mental health, financially and so on...

There just seems to be such a stark contrast.

Yep. But Mumsnet is always like this. Go into the conception, pregnancy & parenting forums & it’s rife with anxiety, heavily overthought questions and those horrified at not sterilising a dummy when dropped on the carpet. Or horrified you’d send a baby to nursery. Or horrified you give your child a biscuit. Completely devoid of reality or what people actually do in real life.

Covid is a mix for me. I don’t know many who remain afraid, life goes on as much as it can really & those I know I’m Facebook are taking these measured risks. I don’t know many sticking to the rules to letter but most people are sticking to the not meeting inside thing. I say this as I watch two sisters, both NHS doctors, who saw pretty much their entire families over Christmas, including one travelling from a tier 4 area 🥴

I seems to me that a lot who shout the loudest on MN 1. Have an agenda 2. Are hiding behind the anonymity.

I’ve never seen anything in RL remotely like I’ve seen on MN.

My sense from MN is not compliance. It is nuttiness and more like cookie cutter trolling, eg thread in whether to wear a mask on the street, which is common sense in my book and also what most people in my part of London do. But no, swathes of MN think it is virtue signalling. WTF?

I honestly read some of the shit on here and think my God, I sincerely hope no one suffering with their MH is reading this. Some posters get practically gleeful at the idea of army in the streets, your phone's being tracked, not seeing anyone outside of your household for the next 10 years... Like they actually actively want to live in a police state. I feel like (not for all but some), all sense of reality has been completely lost!

I think with the NHS workers, it may depend which area you work in. I know a couple who work on Covid wards who are stricter than others who work in an unrelated field for example. I have a friend who's a midwife who saw all her family over Christmas, over multiple days for example.

I also know a police sergeant very closely who also doesn't follow all rules and sees his family. He thinks people are crazy if they think the police have anywhere near the required manpower to enforce the restrictions properly!

Apparently calls over lockdown1 to report neighbours for having so and so round for a brew were rife too. And they didn't / couldn't do anything about it in 99.9% of cases.

What I say is a weary resignation. The shock and fear of March is mostly gone, rightly or wrongly. As a PP said, many people are bending the rules to suit themselves, and blaming increased rates on activities which they themselves don't participate in and can happily blame on someone else - be that pubs, schools, travelling or shopping for 'non-essentials' in Tesco.

It's also worth bearing in mind that even if polls indicate majority support for tougher measures, it's well-known that people responding to polls often say what they think they 'should' say rather than what they actually believe, even when the polls are entirely anonymous.

In RL everyone is very stressed because of the uncertainty about childcare, schools etc and whether they are going to either lose their jobs or be expected to work and care for their children simultaneously as they did in March-July, as well as concern for their children’s development, education and wellbeing . This stress has been ongoing since that time. What I see on MN, which is from a minority of posters, but I don’t see it in RL, is barely concealed glee that parents are feeling this level of stress. It’s like there is a group on here who feel that parents are finally they are getting some sort of comeuppance. It’s really weird, especially for a parenting site.

@OpheliasCrayon

Absolutely. I'm a teacher. All my colleagues and friends who are also teachers want schools open. As do i. All of their friends etc tell them the same. I don't know anyone who has followed all the rules at any point, everyone including myself has broken at least some. Same for all their friends . So my wider network also - ie anyone I could find out anything about, have all broken some rules. I don't know anyone who has ever supported lockdowns I don't know anyone who will take the vaccination when offered. (and I won't either as I have serious allergies) MN is on the whole polar opposite to reality and is the only place I could think of where I could find people who have followed the rules, support lockdowns or want schools to close.

Well that’s all very odd. As a teacher myself no, I don’t want schools shut, but I want them open safely. I find it odd you don’t seem to care. I’m sure everyone has broken a rule at some point, much in the way that almost every driver will have gone over the speed,I it at some point. This is not the same as disagreeing with the rules or routinely doing whatever the fuck you want. What do you mean by ‘support’ lockdowns? Again, nobody wants them but most people with a brain can see they are necessary. Almost everyone I know recognises this. I have a couple of conspiracy theory nutters who I don’t engage with anymore knocking around my SM circle, but that’s it. Again, apart from the above mentioned nutters, everyone I know can’t wait for the vaccine. Why would you avoid it? Especially if you disagree with lockdowns...your allergies are obviously a different issue. Your last point show your friends are unrepresentative (or fictional) as all the data shows excellent compliance, above what the government modelled for.

@Sitt

In RL everyone is very stressed because of the uncertainty about childcare, schools etc and whether they are going to either lose their jobs or be expected to work and care for their children simultaneously as they did in March-July, as well as concern for their children’s development, education and wellbeing . This stress has been ongoing since that time. What I see on MN, which is from a minority of posters, but I don’t see it in RL, is barely concealed glee that parents are feeling this level of stress. It’s like there is a group on here who feel that parents are finally they are getting some sort of comeuppance. It’s really weird, especially for a parenting site.

Yes I see this too. I know a lot of people who schools closing would be absolutely devastating for them.

People can say 'its not childcare' but honestly what are people supposed to feel when it's the difference between keeping your job and not.

I see far more people concerned about things like this than they are about Covid personally.

I'd say that my real life friends are broadly following the rules but not to the letter (tier 4). I think that's fairly similar to the MN majority?

But I agree with you that I don't know anyone IRL who wants the schools closed (including all the teachers I know). So in that respect MN feels non representative.

Rubicon - yes exactly we are trying to follow the rules as much as possible even when we were moved into tier 3 at 115 cases per 100, 000 and seemed harsh. Then tier 4 cancelled (modest) Xmas plans. You have to look after yourself and your family and full lockdown with no schools would be a nightmare for my 10 and 12 year olds,

Nope.

Everyone I know support the rules and on the whole is following them. Some bending a few but not to meet indoors in groups etc but rather single people meeting 2 bubbles and not 1.

Plus plenty I know agree about schools. That they should be closed and mainly online and blended for pupils who aren't at risk.

But a lot of people I know work in education and everyone just goes in and gets in with it.

Yes, absolutely. MN bears about as much resemblance to ‘real life’ opinion as Twitter - ie, not much.

My own friends and family were pretty observant during the first lockdown, but are totally over it now. No one wants schools to close, including the many teachers I know. There is some obvious hypocrisy though - problem sharing sanctimonious ‘Stay At Home this Christmas’ posts on SM when you know full well they’ve been breaking the rules themselves; others pushing guidelines to their very limits with holidays abroad, ever shifting ‘support bubbles’ etc but calling others out for minor misdemeanours that contravene their interpretation of ‘the rules’ etc. MN is by far the most extreme example though.

Same here. It is only on here anyone is outraged at anything anyone else does in their life. I'm seeing my mum and dad near enough as normal now. Other than that we are following the rules. I can see us creeping into tier 4 in the next few days though, which will stop people shopping in the town centre

I just can't stand the judgement you see too.

I am in a very fortunate position in that I'm not currently working and my husband's business has continued to be successful throughout. A lockdown wouldn't affect me, schools closing wouldn't affect me.

But by contrast, my best friend is absolutely pulling her hair out at the prospect of schools closing. It's a toss up, in that case, of her losing the job that pays her bills or relying on older relatives for care which also gets condemned by some on here. I mean really, what are people supposed to do and think? I really don't think it's reasonable to expect selflessness from people in positions like that. Ultimately we will always want to put ourselves first when shit hits the fan and I can't blame people for that!

I think some have followed the guidance as much as possible and some have done what they want from day 1 and "don't believe in it " The people I know that haven't followed rules from day 1 are mainly my family so whilst I make a point of not seeing them I do speak to them regularly so hear first hand what they've been up to.
Rest of my family and friends follow the guidance as much as possible, not exactly thrilled with the restrictions but sticking to them anyway. I dont know anyone in real life who is full of the hysteria we see on here or anyone who is salivating to have a full lockdown or schools closed which include a few NHS staff and teachers

I agree that it is a lot of the same posters over and over again. Particularly on any threads about schools - same people starting them and/or commenting over and over. One or two names constantly plastering the boards with the same stuff. I don't know how they find the time to be so ever present!
IRL most people I know are sticking to the rules pretty well.
I do not know anyone who wants schools closed again.

@Sitt

In RL everyone is very stressed because of the uncertainty about childcare, schools etc and whether they are going to either lose their jobs or be expected to work and care for their children simultaneously as they did in March-July, as well as concern for their children’s development, education and wellbeing . This stress has been ongoing since that time. What I see on MN, which is from a minority of posters, but I don’t see it in RL, is barely concealed glee that parents are feeling this level of stress. It’s like there is a group on here who feel that parents are finally they are getting some sort of comeuppance. It’s really weird, especially for a parenting site.

Absolutely this. It’s bizarre. Parents are being castigated for ‘not wanting to look after their own children’, and the idea of education as an essential component of society is dismissed. Everyone I know is desperate for schools to go back, not because they don’t like spending time with their children, but a) because they can’t work with kids at home and b) because they view education as vital.

A couple of weeks ago, someone compared people's attitudes to Covid restrictions to attitudes towards the environment. In theory, almost everyone believes we 'should do more' to help out and will say to pollsters that they'd be in favour of stronger measures. In practice, few will sacrifice anything significant in their own lives.

So, just as the people who say they won't fly to 'protect the environment' tend not to have much interest in foreign travel in any case, so too those shouting 'Stay the fuck at home!' probably have naice middle class homes with gardens, good internet connections for Ella and Tobias to do their 'blended learning' and cushy jobs that they can do from home, so very 'productively'.

those shouting 'Stay the fuck at home!' probably have naice middle class homes with gardens, good internet connections for Ella and Tobias to do their 'blended learning' and cushy jobs that they can do from home, so very 'productively'

I suspect you're right!

Nobody I know really cares anymore. The thing is, the people on this board care enough to be on it in the first place. If you are not that bothered, you are unlikely to be contributing to the covid board so you get quite extreme views on here. Alot of my friends and family are teachers and none want schools to close. I have a friend who works on a covid ward who posts "come and spend an hour on my ward" type stuff on fb but then the next day will post photos of her kids having sleepovers

I think some people are just more guarded about what they say in RL.

For example, I silently judge those who are breaking the rules in RL but I don't actually tell them that I think they're being selfish fuckwits. In the same way, I don't tell them to shut the fuck up when they witter on about how unfair it is that the young and healthy have to suffer in order to protect the old and vulnerable. They might assume that my silence indicates tacit agreement, but it doesn't.

I don't think I actually have broken the rules except not staying 2m apart at all times while out walking or running with friends.

I am going to a different county this afternoon for a run (5ish miles away) so maybe today is the day as we are both tier 4 and you are not supposed to cross into other tier 4 areas. Not sure if that is law or guidance though.

It has been very easy to follow the rules for me though. I work from home, I can still meet one friend for a run, I can walk into town for provisions and I am not massively sociable so I don't feel the need to go into crowded pubs, get drunk and start kissing everyone

There is obviously a class divide

Mumsnet is predominately middle class. know a wide range of people irl and there is definitely a divide.

There are two groups of people here that I never see in real life. The first and angriest is the union loving school staff common room crowd. The other, that exists here and I just discovered, is people who never take their phone out of the house for fear of being tracked.