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Original poster

Friend said DH is abusing furlough

662 replies

amy198820 · 28/12/2020 17:09

DH been on furlough from 2 jobs since March (one full time job and one part time job he does one evening a week). He has been back to work on and off since the summer and is now on the flexi furlough scheme and both jobs have topped his pay to 100%. Since the tier 4 announcement he has been put back on furlough completely.

As tier 4 is looking like it will continue through Jan/Feb, and so unlikely he will be going back anytime soon DH had applied for another job to keep him busy rather than sit at home. DH found out before Christmas he has got the job and he has made this new employer aware that this job will just be a fill in whilst he is on furlough and the employer has accepted this and are happy to take him on. (its a friend of a friend type thing)

Spoke with my friend and earlier and told her about DH's new temporary position explaining that its better than him sitting at home all day /gives him something to do until all this passes etc. My friend took umbrage with this and said that we are abusing the system and that this isnt what the scheme was designed for. I didn't really know what to say and so said sorry she was offended and would speak to her later on.

For background before anyone says anything, I was not being insensitive, my friend has not suffered financially due to COVID as she has been working from home continuously throughout.

I want to call my friend back soon as to not let the bad feeling grow. How would you suggest I approach this? I do not think we are doing anything wrong, just trying to get through this pandemic and doing the best for our family as would anyone else.

OP posts:
AaronPurr · 28/12/2020 20:28

It can be both can't it?

Of course. But if your friend had the same impression as me, that it was due to boredom and as something to pass the time, rather than trying to future proof. Then surely you can see why she wasn't very supportive of his new job?

SimplySusanna · 28/12/2020 20:30

Is it fair that Fred down the road who couldn't claim will have his house repossessed because your husband took a job he could do? I think it's morally wrong when others genuinely need the work

What a ridiculous, backward way of looking at it. Jobs don't go to the needy, they go to the best qualified.

My dh has been a SAHD for 2 years. My income is enough for us, but he took a temporary job in November. He applied and was successful - he applied only because this year has shaken us and we want as much in savings as possible...he didn't NEED the income though.

Should he have sat back and left the job for poor Fred? Don't be so ridiculous.

cushioncovers · 28/12/2020 20:31

So your dh is being paid full pay from his two jobs but still wants another job? So now he has three incomes? Morally that doesn't sit well with me when so many people have lost their job and have no income at all.

Mwnci123 · 28/12/2020 20:33

If he's getting paid furlough and for this new job then I agree with your friend.

Nuttyfellalovesnutella · 28/12/2020 20:33

I think most people would be doing the same thing if they could. It’s obviously a fault in the system but he is best making hay while the sun shines.

As for your your friend, this polarises people’s opinions and I don’t see it changing so I’d look to go no contact with her for a bit.

Good on your husband though. It’s so easy just to stay home and collect free money but he’s shown initiative to try and secure your family’s future. Who knows what will happen a month or a year down the line. Lets face it, I think most people would do the same if we could.

Original poster
amy198820 · 28/12/2020 20:35

@islockdownoveryet

Op your now saying your dh took on this work now as you don't know if dh will loose his job in the future, and that's a very valid point . But you didn't say that in your op you said it would give him something to do implying it's nothing to do with finances . You even made it clear his furlough pay was topped up to 100%. Furlough threads have been heavily skated mainly by people that have not been furlough some jealousy perhaps. If you said this to your friend no wonder she wasn't happy if it was explained that you need the money or your worried about the possibility dh may loose his job soon she may have understood but you simply explained that it was because he was bored . You must get that would irk many as so many people go to work purely to pay the rent/mortgage put food on the table not because they are bored .
its 2 reasons 1) boredom 2) insurance in case of redundancy.
OP posts:
Hairyfairy01 · 28/12/2020 20:37

OP, can you honestly, hand on heart, say what your DH is doing is morally right? When you consider all the unemployment, likely pay freezes for public sector workers, and the way all of this furlough money is going to have to be paid back at some point?
I appreciate it might be the best thing for your family, but is it the best thing for society as a whole? Do you have any compassion for how others may feel about this?

Shmithecat2 · 28/12/2020 20:39

Gosh. I was thnking about getting a job. I don't need one, but I'm bored of being a SAHM now. But it would seem that by some of the posters on here that do so would be morally corrupt Hmm

Original poster
amy198820 · 28/12/2020 20:40

@cushioncovers

So your dh is being paid full pay from his two jobs but still wants another job? So now he has three incomes? Morally that doesn't sit well with me when so many people have lost their job and have no income at all.
not 3 full time incomes.

1 x full time (normal job) - furlough
1 x part time evening job (8 hr contract p/w) - furlough

and now an extra job that will be 3 or 4 days a week - temporary and flexible until reinstated in full time job

OP posts:
LaceyBetty · 28/12/2020 20:41

@Shmithecat2

Gosh. I was thnking about getting a job. I don't need one, but I'm bored of being a SAHM now. But it would seem that by some of the posters on here that do so would be morally corrupt Hmm
No, because you are taking furlough money from the government / taxpayer.
LaceyBetty · 28/12/2020 20:41

Sorry, "not" taking ...

Parker231 · 28/12/2020 20:43

The furlough scheme allows you to work in a different job. I have a friend who has been furloughed- receiving 80% of his pay up to the monthly maximum of £2,500. He is a great handyman and is currently working fitting bathrooms and kitchens for friends and colleagues. Good initiative to try make up some of the salary he is loosing and builds a buffer if he made redundant in the future (quite likely).

Original poster
amy198820 · 28/12/2020 20:43

@Hairyfairy01

OP, can you honestly, hand on heart, say what your DH is doing is morally right? When you consider all the unemployment, likely pay freezes for public sector workers, and the way all of this furlough money is going to have to be paid back at some point? I appreciate it might be the best thing for your family, but is it the best thing for society as a whole? Do you have any compassion for how others may feel about this?
I can definitely understand the claim that it is morally unfair.

However, what support will there be if we were to both lose our jobs further down the line? Will anyone support us in paying our mortgage? We are simply doing our best to insulate from that happening.

We would take job security over the extra income any day.

OP posts:
CaptainSandy · 28/12/2020 20:44

Ignore the people slagging you OP, as you said none of them would step in to help if you guys hit hard times and couldn't pay your mortgage.

Wolfiefan · 28/12/2020 20:45

So it’s ok to do something morally wrong just in case you need the money in future months or years?

Hairyfairy01 · 28/12/2020 20:46

I guess everyone is just doing what they think is best. I appreciate your honestly on this post OP. Hopefully it has given you some insight on where your friend is coming from. I hope you manage to keep your friendship, Covid has taken away enough from a lot of people.

Ymlaen · 28/12/2020 20:46

I agree with your friend, he's taking advantage of tax payers.

MsTSwift · 28/12/2020 20:48

I’d keep quiet about this ruse if I were you! Even if it is allowed it’s pretty shady what were you thinking telling your friend!

Original poster
amy198820 · 28/12/2020 20:48

@Wolfiefan

So it’s ok to do something morally wrong just in case you need the money in future months or years?
If it protects my children from losing their home then absolutely yes
OP posts:
toocold54 · 28/12/2020 20:49

I wonder what the replies would be if someone was claiming benefits and working.

It may not be illegal but of course it is morally wrong - there are many people who have lost jobs who now can’t apply for that one.
And the idea is to WFH if you can so not to spread the virus and the only people who are not WFH is because their workplace can’t allow them so it’s either give up you’re job and not get money or go into the workplace.

Imagine sitting at home on full pay and actually moaning they were bored - then telling a friend who has been affected financially by COVID.

I feel like voluntary work either now or in the future would do him some good to realise how worse off some people have it.

ivykaty44 · 28/12/2020 20:51

wonder what the replies would be if someone was claiming benefits and working.

It’s what millions of Brits do as it’s legal, encouraged and happens all the time

Wolfiefan · 28/12/2020 20:51

@amy198820 so that justifies anything? Or he could use the time to update CV, do extra training and or look for more secure jobs.
I agree with your friend.

fibeee · 28/12/2020 20:51

The scheme has been incredibly poorly thought out and is full of loopholes. The blame lies with the government not OP’s husband.

I was put on furlough for several weeks while on mat leave and my company was as busy as ever. They saw an opportunity to save money and took it. Im sure this is going on all over the country.

scotsllb · 28/12/2020 20:53

Morals? Maybe look at what the government has pissed tax payers cash on during this pandemic? A hell of a lot more than someone who is legally working and furloughed.
It's like people moaning about folk on benefits costing tax payers when the actual real loss is MP's wastage and deals for their mates.

maverickallthetime · 28/12/2020 20:55

I find people saying he has good work ethic a bit strange. I could have brilliant work ethic if I was being paid for two jobs I wasn't doing and then did some part time work on top!

There are winners and losers at the moment and OP is definitely winner! I couldn't do it and sleep at night but each to their own