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Original poster

Not seeing my parents because DH's parents are shielding.AIBU?

86 replies

Stormy373 · 23/12/2020 19:31

DH's parents are very vulnerable so we can't see them over Christmas. My parents aren't and seeing them would be within the covid rules. We've decided that as we can't see the in laws we also won't see my mum and dad, that way it's fair on everyone. My parents aren't happy about it though.

AIBU? I'm not sure what to do for the best really.

OP posts:
MistleTOEboughski · 23/12/2020 20:11

I'd see your parents then hopefully next Christmas see DH's parents. That's if you want to see anyone if you prefer a quiet Christmas just for you then that's fine but be honest about it.

Mumof3andlovingit · 23/12/2020 20:13

@Ohalrightthen

Why does his parents being alone mean yours have to be too?! If his dad breaks his leg will you push yours down the stairs?

This is really weird, I'd be annoyed with you too.

I don’t know why I found this so funny Grin must be my post pregnancy hormones Blush
SquigglePigs · 23/12/2020 20:16

We had to make a similar choice after lockdown one and we decided the opposite - we weren't going to deprive one set of parents of contact with us and their granddaughter just because the other set couldn't. I realise conditions are a bit different now but similarly we're seeing one set of parents at Christmas and not the other.

satnighttakeaway · 23/12/2020 20:18

Would you be happy in the future not to see your children because they had partners whose parents had poor health

Sounds mad to me

cptartapp · 23/12/2020 20:20

If your IL's are worth their salt they won't mind in the slightest. Why ruin more people's christmas than necessary.
Or is this your DH idea?

MoiraNotRuby · 23/12/2020 20:21

CRYING with laughter at 'if FIL broke his leg would you push your dad down the stairs'!!!

Exactly that. Go and see your parents FFS.

Thehogfatherstolemycurry · 23/12/2020 20:22

Why does his parents being alone mean yours have to be too?! If his dad breaks his leg will you push yours down the stairs?

This!!
This year has been shit enough without willfully causing more misery to your parents.
Pretty selfish if your in laws want this, stinks of 'I'm miserable so everyone else should be too'

BlueThistles · 23/12/2020 20:23

what a shame for your Parents.. a real real shame... why would you do this OP.. it's christmas ffs Hmm

Neverbeme · 23/12/2020 20:26

I can’t see why you would do that.

Neverbeme · 23/12/2020 20:26

Maybe the in-laws wouldn’t even mind.

Horehound · 23/12/2020 20:27

So stupid.

Just go see them. Jesus.

MummaBear4321 · 23/12/2020 20:27

its not really fair to punish your parents because of something they cannot control. My parents live abroad and I never get to spend christmas with them. That doesnt mean I refuse to spend christmas with my inlaws (even though I am admittedly wildly jealous that my MIL gets christmas with her grandchildren, and she sees them every second week, and my mom has seen my kids twice this year). I feel really bad for your parents tbh. It seems unnecessary.

moose62 · 23/12/2020 20:29

Why penalise your parents for something they have no control over. If you don't want to go, just admit it.

Santaisironingwrappingpaper · 23/12/2020 20:30

Surely keeping adults appeased isn't normal??

Meredithgrey1 · 23/12/2020 20:30

YABU.
I don’t understand this logic at all. My parents live further from us than my ILs. Should we see ILs less because we can’t see my parents more?

RandomUsernameHere · 23/12/2020 20:33

You can't see DH's parents regardless of whether or not you see your parents though. So by seeing your parents you would not be favouring them over DH's. It seems very unfair on your parents (unless I have misunderstood or there is more to it than stated in the OP).

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 23/12/2020 20:36

I would go and see your parents while you can. Who knows what lockdown rules are coming or for how long?

SnackySnack · 23/12/2020 20:38

That Is a absolutely bonkers!!! They arent children FGS. It's not your parents fault your in laws are vulnerable. I'm not seeing my mom but damn right I'm seeing my dad 🙄🙄

MrsTerryPratchett · 23/12/2020 20:39

So weird. Seriously, so very weird.

EbeneezerSnooze · 23/12/2020 20:39

Ahh that's unfair, your poor parents. I don't understand the reasoning behind it at all, who came up with the idea?

Swishswish26 · 23/12/2020 20:40

I’m not surprised your parents are upset. What a strange decision to make. You should be able to see your parents if you want to, it is not their fault that your in laws are vulnerable!

Piwlyfbicsly · 23/12/2020 20:44

That’s really weird. Just why? Because it isn’t... fair? Because it’s very fair to your parents?

InFiveMins · 23/12/2020 20:45

YABU and also immature.

It isn't fair that your in laws are vulnerable but sadly life isn't fair. Why should you/your parents miss out because of your in laws vulnerability?!

Bizarre. Visit your parents OP.

DecemberDiana · 23/12/2020 20:45

My mum would tell me to go to in laws.

DimidDavilby · 23/12/2020 20:47

Lol what