Honestly, I wish people would think before going crazy over the rules

[WankPuffins]

Just a little rant really.

Dh went to pick up my dad this morning. T4 area, 150 miles away.

My dad is in our support bubble. We see no one else, he sees no one else. We've all been isolating for nearly two weeks as a precaution. It's allowed.

My dad lives in a little development of housing for over 55's. As they were loading the car, two of the neighbours started bashing on windows shouting that it's tier 4, it's illegal to take him. One visiting carer started shouting from a doorstep that she was going to report him to the police, that she has taken the number plate.

Dh did very calmly call over that he's in a support bubble that it's allowed. He said she didn't listen just kept on shouting.

Fucks sake.

I now have a very upset 86 year old sat on my sofa. Dh said he was shaking all the way down and is dreading going home.

@MoirasRoses

We’ve had this with my parents neighbours. We have an under one year old so have formed a bubble with them. The first day I went round for an hour with our 9 month old, a neighbour caught me & said I was breaking the law. To which I told him to goggle the new bubbles rules. He went off in a huff & later told me I was still stupid for risking my mums life. 🙄 Jog on mate.

When I dropped my 3 year old off for a play the other day, same neighbour & another one came & rang the bell & said having the 3 year old was illegal. The bubble only includes the baby & parents. Not the 3 year old as well 😂 BORE OFF. Completely wrong, we are now ‘one’ household. All children included. We again showed them evidence of this & again my mum was met with the responses that ‘if she dies, it’ll be her own fault & serve her right’ 😯 My mum was in bits. This year has brought out the absolute worst in humanity. I don’t care if you are scared. My mum legally choosing to support us with very young children after a very difficult few months post birth is her decision. It doesn’t affect anyone else. We only see each other!

Bloody hell. Your poor mum.

People are scared and also getting the 'rules' from inaccurate sources. No one seems to read the actual guidance.

Yeah, mainly from MN where no one seems to understand Tier 4 and bubbles!

@MoirasRoses what do the neighbours think you are meant to do with your 3 year old? Leave them in a cupboard while the baby and parents visit their support bubble

I think this part of the tier 4 rules

"You are permitted to leave your home to visit your support bubble (and to stay overnight with them). However, if you form a support bubble, it is best if this is with a household who live locally. This will help prevent the virus spreading from an area where more people are infected."

Is the bit that will make people confused. The rules are very clear, but the quoted paragraph is guidance, which means you don't have to follow it.

So you're completely right that as his support bubble, you can drive 150 miles to get him, but the guidance is that it's not ideal. However, if you are his support, there's not much you can do about that, because the alternative is an 86 year old man on his own.

@PinkFondantFancy yes, perfect sense!

My dad is quite difficult anyway and now he's saying that he won't enjoy Christmas. This is all he will talk about now and it will really bring the week down. Trying to just keep him busy with the kids and take his mind off it. He's dreading going home and the police turning up at his door.

@Sirzy

They shouldn’t have shouted but I can understand why people living in a complex like that are worried

Actually I would have expected people in a complex like this (many who will be on their own) and their carers to be more in the ball in this rules than anyone else. Because surely that affects them directly???

@Lougle I think there are a lot of people in a support bubble with a parent who lives a distance away. I know it's not great but, what do you do?

Obviously we are going nowhere while he's here and neither is he. He's also been SI for two weeks. So we've been as safe as possible.

@WankPuffins- ps. so sorry about your Dad. It’s just awful. People are being so cruel. I really hope you can enjoy Christmas despite this 🙏🏼

What idiots. I will be doing the same thing picking up my mum (83) - we are in Tier 4, same scenario we/she sees no one. Your poor Dad love him - forget the idiots have a lovely Christmas xx

Agree that people are just so judgemental and sadly also very wrong most of the time with it.

We are in a difficult situation tomorrow we've had to 'bend' rules to get over.

I'm a single adult household.
Mum is support bubble with my sister for childcare. (Sister also single adult)
Mum had chemo last week and is very tired. She is meant to have my DN tomorrow whilst my sister (NHs) works. She is involved in vaccinations for covid tomorrow so vital work.
We are T2. All meeting for dinner on xmas day for a very shortened period compared to normal.
Im having my DN instead.

Realistically a) I can call it a support bubble with my sister as separate one to childcare and I'm not in one and b) we are meeting 24 hours later anyway so risk isn't really increased.

I have stuck to every rule up til now like glue. But if I don't have DN then sister cannot be at vaccination clinic and that's - on balance - a bigger risk to nation.

I'm sure if anyone happens to find out (I'm obviously not advertising it!) someone somewhere will want to threaten us with killing all the grannies.

If this situation has proven anything, it’s that the majority of the British public are absolute morons. I’m sorry your dad had this experience.

Got to admit, I'm one for the rules. But this is allowed, I believe, and even if not, to hurl abuse at an elderly man is just despicable. They could have discussed this in a socially distanced way.

I'm so sorry for your dad, it's actually made me so sad to picture the shock/stress he must be under. I hope he pulls around soon and you enjoy your Christmas. Maybe extend the stay a little and, if you can, both of you go back with him for the return journey.

@itsgettingweird are your Mum and sister in a childcare bubble or a support bubble? They aren't the same thing.
If its a childcare bubble (and the adults aren't mixing) then yes your sister can also have a support bubble with you.
If the latter then no as you can only be in 1 support bubble. (I think)

Oh wait... I misunderstood your question I think. AFAIK you can be in a childcare bubble in order to have your DN.

It was a carer (in a uniform tabard), who was doing most of the shouting.

Well, if you can find out which company she is from, I'd put a formal complaint in. If she loses her job, tough luck, it'll be a lesson for her to keep her bloody nose out of other peoples business.

Too many are now deciding they can stick their beaks in to everyone's business, just because of this bloody virus. They can't and should be hammered out of sight (not physically!!) when they do.

Fuckwits. I hope you manage to settle your poor dads worries and they haven’t spoilt his Christmas with you.

[quote TheFormerPorpentinaScamander]@itsgettingweird are your Mum and sister in a childcare bubble or a support bubble? They aren't the same thing.
If its a childcare bubble (and the adults aren't mixing) then yes your sister can also have a support bubble with you.
If the latter then no as you can only be in 1 support bubble. (I think)[/quote]
They are childcare. Hence why I said we are in rules but also bending - by bending I mean we are forming it purely for this day.

Sorry to hear that OP. I absolutely despise sanctimonious curtain twitchers like that.

This makes me so angry I could cry. How dare people make your Dad feel like that - it's this type of behaviour that makes me think Covid is truly bringing out the worst in people.

You are absolutely allowed to spend Christmas together as a bubble. Please show your lovely Dad all the responses on this thread. I hope he feels better soon. Enjoy your Christmas together.

Another here to add commiserations OP - the tainting of everything with suspicion and the willingness to go to the authorities for the slightest perceived infraction of the "roolz" is one of the worst things about this whole situation.

Back in March my terminally ill Mum declined just as lockdown came in and could no longer live alone. I couldn't move in with her due to lack of space as per shielding recommendations,but we had a spare ground floor room with ensuite at home, in the same town, which we were able to prepare. We told Macmillan what we intended and the receptionist immediately vetoes it because "against the rules". No hospice care available, no help or advice,just a flat "No". Fortunately Mum's GP arranged a 24 hour hospital visit (adding to the risk) and then she had to be discharged into a safe environment - our house - as per other rules..... it was so stressful, but we were lucky in the situation. We lost her in late April. I utterly feel for everyone who hasn't been so fortunate because there is no rational appraisal of individual circumstances.

I was actually very worried for a few days that the police would come and demand she leave or just get SS to intervene. Rationally I knew it was unlikely,but the frenzy of the fear of the unknown was utterly contagious.

Remember at the start of all this when people were (apparently) being kinder and more understanding towards others? That lasted, didn't it?

People can be utter arses, OP. I'm so sorry this happened and I hope you all have a lovely Christmas despite it

@MistressoftheDarkSide I'm so sorry you had to jump through ridiculous hoops at such a terrible time

This kind of behaviour is far more terrify than the virus.

This time last year if somebody had told us that ordinary people would be frightening the shit out of a elderly gent going to spend Christmas with his family due to misunderstanding rules imposed by the government you would have thought they had lost their mind...

Hope you reassure him he’s doing nothing wrong and has nothing to fear and he has a lovely time.

Although it was an unpleasant experience, please have a little sympathy. For us older people this really is a matter of life or death, so we tend to be extremely cautious.

We are all on the edge at the moment and liable to over-react. Let's all try and be patient with each other.

Surely the best approach is to comply with the rules yourself and mind your own business about everyone else unless it’s a flagrant, obvious breach (e.g. 500 people attending a rave next door). And if you’re not a Police Officer, PCSO or “Covid Marshall” accept that it’s not your role to police other people’s behaviour.