I'm fucking done

[Twizbe]

I'm done. We've been isolating ready to see my parents and now we can't.

This is the third time now we've had to cancel plans last min and I'm sick of it! Totally sick of it!

The idiots are showing themselves now. How about all of those who want to go and happily spread Christmas Covid cheer do it in one of the many closed arenas. Stay there for a fortnight and spread it amongst yourselves without endangering others (just don't expect any medical treatment).

There will be many more accidents on Christmas Day with people having to return home who would otherwise have stayed overnight and sobered up.

@Allispretty yes there will be those whose mental health have been affected, that Is awful and I am sympathetic but it still does not justify putting others lives at risk.
My point though is not about those people, it’s those that use the mental health card because they feel, sad, angry , frustrated, entitled etc and then use the mental health card to justify rule breaking and risking lives.
It is not comparable to feeling upset that you can’t see a love one at Christmas as it is to never being able to see a loved one again as they have died from Covid-19. It’s just not.
And that will happen , people will die because people think their reasons are justified- they are not.

@AldiAisleofCrap

The selfishness and immaturity on this thread is appalling. And the mental health card is not a excuse to do as you please . Am sick of it being rolled out, it’s an insult to those with genuine mental health problems . Feeling sad , disappointed, even sitting in tears because you can’t see love ones is not a mental health issue , unfortunately it’s just a part of life. How do you think the mental health of those that have lost loved ones is. Spare a thought for those that won’t be with their loved ones and Christmas because they have died. I do think however that families who have a loved one who is terminally ill , or is so old it’s unlikely they will make it to next Christmas should have an exception if tier 4 , and also be able to stay overnight if in any tier.

THIS a million times over!!!

I'm sick of it all, my health mental and physical has taken a hammering. I'm deaf, 97% average loss in both ears. Went to local High school, graduation with top marks, by time I was 23 was on top level recruitment and he and It training.. I'm sick of the whole thing

[quote AldiAisleofCrap]@Allispretty yes there will be those whose mental health have been affected, that Is awful and I am sympathetic but it still does not justify putting others lives at risk.
My point though is not about those people, it’s those that use the mental health card because they feel, sad, angry , frustrated, entitled etc and then use the mental health card to justify rule breaking and risking lives.
It is not comparable to feeling upset that you can’t see a love one at Christmas as it is to never being able to see a loved one again as they have died from Covid-19. It’s just not.
And that will happen , people will die because people think their reasons are justified- they are not.[/quote]
If you have isolated and your relative has isolated prior to meeting or you both have negative Covid tests, you are not putting anyone’s life at risk though, are you? People need to use their brains rather than just blindly following the contradictory rules.

[quote timeforanewstart]@changingnamesandkeepingsane you obviously have never suffered mh issues , do you not think we would pull ourselves together if we could
Im done with this now , A couple of days with my family all low risk was a boost I needed , but now thats been given and taken .
We are likely to still have a lockdown or be put in higher tiers regardless , those who were going to break the rules will continue[/quote]
I do and continue to suffer from mental health issues. However, my mental health will be shot to shit if I infect my elderly parents with a deadly virus. Or if I have to homeschool for months. Yes, I'd love to see my folks. I'd love to sit with them and have a proper chat. But at what risk? We are all humans that are capable of assessing short and long term gratification.

I'm sorry if your mental health is at the point where meeting with others is the only thing that will help. I would say if that's the case then go ahead. But it isn't risk free. And the other parties in that decision must also be accepting of those risks also.

Nice to hear the term ‘the mental health card’ being trotted out by some posters. This stuff really is showing people for who they truly are. Lots of smug middle class people with partners, children and cosy homes berating people who have lived in isolation for months or are really struggling in other ways. Accusing them of ‘playing the mental health card’ and patting themselves on the back for sticking to the rules (even though doing so isn’t particularly hard when you have support from your own household).

@RealityNotEssentialism

Nice to hear the term ‘the mental health card’ being trotted out by some posters. This stuff really is showing people for who they truly are. Lots of smug middle class people with partners, children and cosy homes berating people who have lived in isolation for months or are really struggling in other ways. Accusing them of ‘playing the mental health card’ and patting themselves on the back for sticking to the rules (even though doing so isn’t particularly hard when you have support from your own household).

Great post. Spot on.

@Leanandmean31

I’m not going to let this stop me visit my family. I don’t care anymore. Sorry, nothing you can say will change my mind. This is a complete joke. The fact that collective worship is still allowed in Tier 4 shows that these rules aren’t really grounded in science.

Are you actually Sorry?

Nice to hear the term ‘the mental health card’ being trotted out by some posters. This stuff really is showing people for who they truly are.

There has always been exceptions for single parent households, those who are suffering with mental health, domestic violence etc.

My mental health has been the worst it’s been for a very long time partly because of the restrictions and partly because there’s a worldwide pandemic going on.

what makes my mental health worse is actually hearing how selfish some people are in this world.

Yes lots of people suffer from mental health issues but not all of us use it as an excuse to think we’re special or above anyone else.

@RealityNotEssentialism

Nice to hear the term ‘the mental health card’ being trotted out by some posters. This stuff really is showing people for who they truly are. Lots of smug middle class people with partners, children and cosy homes berating people who have lived in isolation for months or are really struggling in other ways. Accusing them of ‘playing the mental health card’ and patting themselves on the back for sticking to the rules (even though doing so isn’t particularly hard when you have support from your own household).

It seems that you don't get it. The post is actually about real MH.

If you look around on MN many people get worked up about the stupidest things. People nowadays don't seem to know where the line is between being a resilient human with emotions and real MH issues.

I have had more than my fair share, bi to the looney bin in my teens. Got help and learnt to distinguish between sad vs depressed. Or many other feelings.

The post was literally bout how people are misusing the MH card and labeling feelings that normal humans can and have to deal with as "issues" when they are not.
This devalues the MH term, and those who really need help are just left classed together with the sahm who's biggest reason for being depressed is that the cleaner can't come 7 days a week, they just have money for 6 days. Let's be fair: these are not of the same caliber.

I think, especially now, it would be paramount to distinguish properly and provide help where it's needed and not spend time on people who are using it as a get out of jail free card.

Great example from Singapore: only the really/truly exempts don't wear a mask when directed to. It's a tiny %, below 1 if I remember correctly.
Because compliance is not hindered by "I have mh issues from it" (reality translation: I don't waaaant toooooooo!!!)
those who are truly in need of exemption are rarely bothered or get snide comments. Because people know that it's because they really can't.

[quote AldiAisleofCrap]@Allispretty yes there will be those whose mental health have been affected, that Is awful and I am sympathetic but it still does not justify putting others lives at risk.
My point though is not about those people, it’s those that use the mental health card because they feel, sad, angry , frustrated, entitled etc and then use the mental health card to justify rule breaking and risking lives.
It is not comparable to feeling upset that you can’t see a love one at Christmas as it is to never being able to see a loved one again as they have died from Covid-19. It’s just not.
And that will happen , people will die because people think their reasons are justified- they are not.[/quote]
Peoples lives are at risk every single day and not just from covid! Your living in a very blinkered world where covid is the only issue!
You could be hit by a bus tomorrow, or be involved in a car accident, contract meningitis or die from cancer. The list is endless. Life is for living and enjoying. Yes we need to protect people the best we can but at some point life is going to have to go on and tough choices are going to have to be made. The average age of death from covid is higher than the average life expectancy in the uk! It's ruining the economy. It's destroying our children's futures. It's terribly sad that it's happened but life is going to have to restart at some point soon.
We need to stop and rethink. And come up with viable and workable solutions that don't involve locking 1.2 million people up in care homes. That don't risk out kids education and that allow those who wish to to get back to normal.

@DollyParton2

I’m still spending Christmas Day with my family - Tier 4.

I'm not spending Christmas with my family, even the ones I live with - NHS.

Looking forward to sorting out the mess in the new year

And that workable viable solution is.....?

Cancer treatments are also palliative if it is terminal. Not if you are old. It is not an age thing. So your second premise is also incorrect.

That’s not true, there are specific calculations done in terms of quality of life years ahead.

My grandfather was told he wouldn’t get a kidney transplant as a direct consequence of his age.

We have always applied some degree of cost benefit analysis to health care provision. Until Covid.

The thing is.. it’s all just delaying getting it isn’t it? The vaccine isn’t a silver bullet. As is more lockdown. It’s something we’re going to have to live with for YEARS.

So all this ‘oh it’s selfish and if we all follow the rooolz it’ll be over soon’ Have you any idea how long it took to eradicate smallpox? A collective change of thinking is needed. Mitigate the risks but carry on living.

It is still a cost benefit calculation

You just don't like the answer

I feel very sad and bleak about things tonight. Reading the divisiveness on Mumsnet echoes the devisions in society right now. This virus has destroyed empathy and humanity in more ways than one.

I am in the extremely clinically vulnerable group and I am in group 4 in terms of vaccine priority so I am hopeful I will get a vaccine soon. However, for people like me it isn’t just Covid we fear, it’s the lack of capacity in the hospitals generally. The lack of access to healthcare without the fear of getting Covid.

I have been battling on at home with something related to one of my chronic conditions that in previous times I would have sought medical help for at A and E. I have seen my GP but my issues are incredibly rare (approx 1 in 500,000 or less have my combination of issues) and so normally A and E is a gateway to specialists for me - and I was told to use it this way.

Not now. Now I live in absolute fear. Fear of there not being capacity to help me. Fear of Covid itself. Fear I will leave my two children without me, one of which has severe complex needs.

And all this stuff the government trots out about hospitals having zones and being safe is just not true. Not in my area (Norfolk). I ended up in hospital in September and was kept in a mixed ward in A and E, next to other people, and was only Covid tested when I was finally moved onto a ward - and hours after I was admitted. I know the staff are working incredibly hard, I am not blaming them for this, I am just saying that I know that if I did have Covid by the point I was tested I could have infected lots of people. Hospitals are not safe for people like me. Not at all.

I am very scared.

@Ted27

Christmas day only isnt much help if your family live 150 miles away and you don’t have transport

Apart from a few days in the summer, I’ve been on my own with a 16 year old autistic teenager since March

Exactly one year today since we have seen most of our family.

You could form a support bubble then you can do what you like with one other household.

Are you actually Sorry?

No, I’m not. I have been isolating for 10 days. I don’t have Covid. I am driving there without stopping on the way. I am not going to infect anyone with it so why should I feel bad or sorry? I am putting nobody at risk. The people going to church or mosque or synagogue are though but that’s fine apparently.

You just don't like the answer

Is that directed at me?

The costs of lockdown are off the fucking scale.

Have a read of this

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.spectator.co.uk/article/how-much-does-it-cost-to-save-lives-from-covid/amp

All those who want to ignore the rules and carry on, you’re the reason why the restrictions are ongoing.
However, I say carry on and go to visit your families in your own cars but don’t come crying on here when you fuck up your own family.
Christmas isn’t cancelled, it’s one day and many other faiths have had to do without, without less whinging.

And the costs of not locking down?

@baffledcoconut

The thing is.. it’s all just delaying getting it isn’t it? The vaccine isn’t a silver bullet. As is more lockdown. It’s something we’re going to have to live with for YEARS.

So all this ‘oh it’s selfish and if we all follow the rooolz it’ll be over soon’ Have you any idea how long it took to eradicate smallpox? A collective change of thinking is needed. Mitigate the risks but carry on living.

Exactly. This is a long term thing. It’s not ‘just one Christmas’ or ‘let’s all pull together so our kids can go back to school in January’. It could go on for years and we don’t know whether there new strains will be responsive to the vaccine or whether new strains will emerge. It’s a new way of life and the lockdown conditions are not sustainable longer term.