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The government wants YOU to volunteer as a school covid tester

716 replies

noelgiraffe · 15/12/2020 23:42

The govt have proudly announced that there will be mass testing in secondary schools, colleges and special schools from January.

What the headlines don’t quite convey is that schools will be expected to set up and man their own testing centres and that this make-shift testing of close contacts of positives will replace close contacts having to isolate. The tests pick up about 50% of positive cases so I’m sure this will be fine.

Covidy kids will be getting the bus to school to queue up and be tested by people who have watched a video and a couple of online worksheets.

Even better, they want those people to be YOU!

“The document says that reasonable costs for additional workforce will be reimbursed.

It adds that a school may want to hire temporary staff, such as agency and contract workers, or draw on volunteers such as parents, retired teachers, Red Cross, St John Ambulance and community organisations.”

If you can’t help in person, perhaps you can support by talking positively about this effort on social media and parenting forums?

“Under a section labelled “social media guidance”, the document reads that “consistent, accurate and positive communication about testing activity is essential”.

They want to see “proactive public social media using agreed materials” and schools are encouraged to “monitor your existing social media channels, parents forums etc. and provide any feedback”.”

Come on folks, do your bit!

schoolsweek.co.uk/7-staff-roles-2-hour-training-and-dhsc-sign-off-on-press-schools-given-mass-testing-instructions/

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MrsFezziwig · 15/12/2020 23:50

Every idea the government has at the moment falls into the “you couldn’t make it up” category so I actually just came on to admire the namechange (never do the Christmas namechange myself as mine’s already Christmassy enough!) Xmas Smile

Blacktothepink · 15/12/2020 23:54

I hope the goady keep school open at any cost brigade all volunteer.

noelgiraffe · 15/12/2020 23:58

Thanks MrsFezziwig!

I’m hoping for “I knew this would be you, OP... oh, sorry Noel, my mistake”

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middleager · 15/12/2020 23:59

They're going to need some DBS checking for all those random bods!

noelgiraffe · 16/12/2020 00:00

Indeed, Black I remember several who said they would be happy walking around schools at the moment. Now’s their big chance!

I do hope some MPs roll up their sleeves and do a bit of community work too. I might email mine and invite him to apply.

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wondersun · 16/12/2020 00:05

[quote noelgiraffe]The govt have proudly announced that there will be mass testing in secondary schools, colleges and special schools from January.

What the headlines don’t quite convey is that schools will be expected to set up and man their own testing centres and that this make-shift testing of close contacts of positives will replace close contacts having to isolate. The tests pick up about 50% of positive cases so I’m sure this will be fine.

Covidy kids will be getting the bus to school to queue up and be tested by people who have watched a video and a couple of online worksheets.

Even better, they want those people to be YOU!

“The document says that reasonable costs for additional workforce will be reimbursed.

It adds that a school may want to hire temporary staff, such as agency and contract workers, or draw on volunteers such as parents, retired teachers, Red Cross, St John Ambulance and community organisations.”

If you can’t help in person, perhaps you can support by talking positively about this effort on social media and parenting forums?

“Under a section labelled “social media guidance”, the document reads that “consistent, accurate and positive communication about testing activity is essential”.

They want to see “proactive public social media using agreed materials” and schools are encouraged to “monitor your existing social media channels, parents forums etc. and provide any feedback”.”

Come on folks, do your bit!

schoolsweek.co.uk/7-staff-roles-2-hour-training-and-dhsc-sign-off-on-press-schools-given-mass-testing-instructions/[/quote]
I’m in! Sounds amazing! Especially the chance to work for free and lie on social media.

ConiferGate · 16/12/2020 00:05

This made me laugh thank you Grin They’re missing a trick not inviting out of work thespians and dancers to volunteer though, what an unmissable opportunity to reskill!

EtInTerraPax · 16/12/2020 00:06

OMFG, you just couldn't make it up, could you?

noelgiraffe · 16/12/2020 00:07

The best bit is that this will have been dumped on Heads just before the Christmas holidays to be ready to kick off in January!

Lucky they won’t be busy doing contact tracing on Christmas Day, they can be trying to figure out how to put down non-porous flooring in the school hall instead!

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BungleandGeorge · 16/12/2020 00:07

I find it odd that teachers aren’t allowed to physically comfort a child who has injured themselves, parents aren’t allowed to help out on school trips yet any random stranger with no medical training is allowed to do an invasive medical test.

noelgiraffe · 16/12/2020 00:09

I’m in! Sounds amazing! Especially the chance to work for free and lie on social media.

Who would want to miss the opportunity? School staff will be gutted when they are elbowed from the front of the queue by a stream of eager parents.

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GCAcademic · 16/12/2020 00:32

This is what they did in universities. We all got an email asking us to volunteer to test the students before they travelled home for the Christmas break. They even wanted us to cover weekend shifts, in exchange for a sandwich and a working environment that was “as COVID-secure as possible”. Incredibly, some people must have found this an attractive offer, because the testing went ahead.

StaffAssociationRepresentative · 16/12/2020 00:37

Safeguarding!

noelgiraffe · 16/12/2020 00:37

At least with the mass testing for Christmas you had students queued up to test.

What about the schools who (as we’ve often heard about on here) only had one case since September. Are they supposed to set up a covid testing site and staff it ready to spring into action in the event of another case?

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BluebellsGreenbells · 16/12/2020 00:38

They're going to need some DBS checking for all those random bods!

Nope! They aren’t at risk if they are with others at all times.

ByersRd · 16/12/2020 00:45

I was a teacher, I can stick an eppi-pen in an orange....does that mean I can volunteer...😂

StaffAssociationRepresentative · 16/12/2020 00:46

Regular visitors need a dbs check. Are these ransoms only coming once or on a daily basis and for how long?

ineedaholidaynow · 16/12/2020 00:50

All the parents who were emailing schools complaining that teachers were going to vaccinate their children, and the vaccine had a chip in it, will have a field day with this

Theotherrudolph · 16/12/2020 00:52

You have previously said you wanted greater testing in schools. Who exactly did you think was going to staff it? The actual nurses, doctors, paramedics etc are otherwise occupied. I would expect a secondary age child to be able to mostly do it themselves anyway. But yes, if it came down to it, as a parent I’d volunteer, albeit my kids are primary and I rather suspect it would be delegated to parents to do their own child, if it ever reaches primary schools.

Basically, I don’t understand the sneering - what kind of mass testing did you envisage?

greenlynx · 16/12/2020 00:56

Is it a joke? DD’s secondary can’t make everybody wearing masks and it’s a normal secondary with good GCSE results. I can’t imagine them setting up testing centers, it took them a few months to sort out school canteen.
Personally I wouldn’t help and I’m very serious about Covid. I wash hands, uniform, groceries and put all mail for 3 days quarantine. I also not sure about “mass testing” my DD, she doesn’t tolerate invasive procedures so the first test will be the last.

noelgiraffe · 16/12/2020 00:57

Basically, I don’t understand the sneering

How many billions given to Serco for test and trace and now their job is expected to be done by schools for free?

I mean, we were already doing the tracing for free for them.

Also, yes, I did want testing in schools. I didn’t want ineffective testing to replace isolating close contacts of positive cases.

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noelgiraffe · 16/12/2020 00:59

World beating test and trace system, staffed by Kevin’s mum in what used to be the hall.

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Theotherrudolph · 16/12/2020 01:05

“World beating test and trace system, staffed by Kevin’s mum in what used to be the hall.”

It’s not exactly brain surgery, it’s nasal swabs that parents have been doing to their own kids since the beginning. Why can’t Kevin’s mum volunteer? If it was staffed by highly qualified nurses would that somehow make it “world beating”?

housemdwaswrong · 16/12/2020 01:06

I mean what can go wrong? The testing centre in Cardiff is closed after 9 staff tested positive, but this is school, so bound to be fine.

I've always wanted the binman to stick a swab down my throat half hour after lugging rubbish around. Perfect.

Elephant4 · 16/12/2020 01:07

World beating test and trace system, staffed by Kevin’s mum in what used to be the hall.

😅