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The government wants YOU to volunteer as a school covid tester

716 replies

noelgiraffe · 15/12/2020 23:42

The govt have proudly announced that there will be mass testing in secondary schools, colleges and special schools from January.

What the headlines don’t quite convey is that schools will be expected to set up and man their own testing centres and that this make-shift testing of close contacts of positives will replace close contacts having to isolate. The tests pick up about 50% of positive cases so I’m sure this will be fine.

Covidy kids will be getting the bus to school to queue up and be tested by people who have watched a video and a couple of online worksheets.

Even better, they want those people to be YOU!

“The document says that reasonable costs for additional workforce will be reimbursed.

It adds that a school may want to hire temporary staff, such as agency and contract workers, or draw on volunteers such as parents, retired teachers, Red Cross, St John Ambulance and community organisations.”

If you can’t help in person, perhaps you can support by talking positively about this effort on social media and parenting forums?

“Under a section labelled “social media guidance”, the document reads that “consistent, accurate and positive communication about testing activity is essential”.

They want to see “proactive public social media using agreed materials” and schools are encouraged to “monitor your existing social media channels, parents forums etc. and provide any feedback”.”

Come on folks, do your bit!

schoolsweek.co.uk/7-staff-roles-2-hour-training-and-dhsc-sign-off-on-press-schools-given-mass-testing-instructions/

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
Toastybutt · 16/12/2020 06:04

I’ve read the guidance and it’s not mass testing is it? They are having us on.
They want to REPLACE isolation with a pretty unreliable test.
So it’s testing to keep kids in school NOT to make them safer by day, finding asymptomatic cases.
And I would bet a substantial amount of money that there will be a tortuously complicated method of ordering tests and constant delays to orders.

Toastybutt · 16/12/2020 06:05

Not day. Say.

inquietant · 16/12/2020 06:05

Yes these tests are fairly useless. What a pile of (moon)shit.

I can't describe how much I hate this government.

Whyarewehardofthinking · 16/12/2020 06:12

There are so many issues with this logistically, let alone the "do I want to swab Brian who threw a chair at me last week?" element.

  1. We have to set up an area to queue the kids, register the kids and assign a test, swab each one, run the assay by mixing the swab with reagent, placing the liquid on the test then waiting 20-30 minutes for the result.

What do with the kids whilst waiting?

  1. THIS IS REPLACING SENDING CLOSE CONTACTS OF A POSITIVE CASE HOME! Which is fucking insane. It isn't for looking for asymptomatic cases, this is to make sure that Jane, who had the positively tested Mary throw up on her (already happened!) doesn't have it and that exact moment he is tested. Again, thinks FUCKING INSANE.
  1. I'm not comfortable swabbing the kids. It hurts, I've done it to my own daughter who I needed to have her dad hold her head. I can't do that to a student unless they wave responsibility for if it goes wrong. This is delicate work.
Whyarewehardofthinking · 16/12/2020 06:15

Forgot to add... The reliability of these is poor at 50%, o maybe we will catch Mary having it who was sadly thrown up on, but not Jo who had been snogging Jane the day before.

My head was in tears yesterday, and I have only seen that man cry when a student died.

inquietant · 16/12/2020 06:17

My head was in tears yesterday

I hate this government. They've handled this so badly, in any given situation they do the wrong thing. I hate them so much.

Toastybutt · 16/12/2020 06:28

And then the headlines:
Teachers refuse to keep our children safe!

GrammarTeacher · 16/12/2020 06:36

@noelgiraffe well done on getting the thread started before we have to have approval for all discussions!
The guidance is laughable and genuinely Orwellian. I've been teaching since 2002. This is the most out of touch SoS I've worked under (despite his wife working in education!).

NeurotreeWenceslas · 16/12/2020 06:41

However I don't believe anyone except for medical professionals should administer these tests on children.

I believe that originally when they came out they were supposed to only be administered by hcps? Results were more accurate? There were some articles about it.

NeurotreeWenceslas · 16/12/2020 06:44

this fucking farce is going to go on well into next year isnt it?

Unfortunately I think it is. And beyond. Speaking to an anaesthetist who works on a Covid ward, she indicated it would.

ChloeDeckTheHalls · 16/12/2020 06:46

Well, you have at least a couple of volunteers already on this thread, OP! No. Wait. They’re volunteering other people. As you were!

Mummyoflittledragon · 16/12/2020 06:48

My dd will refuse to take the test. I will support this. She has a medical condition and the test could trigger this. I’m not going to put her in a position, where her heart to stop beating (even though it automatically restarts) just for mass testing. She never had the flu nasal vaccination for the same reason. I’ll gladly take it in her place and her friends can do the same.

Mummyoflittledragon · 16/12/2020 06:50

I realise I didn’t really address the op. I’m just so wild with the government for lots of reasons. I agree with pps. How much more can staff take? This is ridiculous and so disrespectful to schools and all the staff have done thus far.

Ylvamoon · 16/12/2020 06:50

Grin Whatever Next Grin
No support from me in any shape or form.

DC had a book with this title, where Baby Bear went to the moon in a cardboard box

Toastybutt · 16/12/2020 06:51

They’ve said you still have the option to isolate instead @Mummyoflittledragon - it’s only for close contacts to avoid isolations.

AaronPurr · 16/12/2020 06:51

Just when you think things can't get any weirder. A year ago reports like this would only be seen on the pages on a dystopian novel, now it's real life. Fucking ridiculous, and another stick to beat schools with. Sad

mrshoho · 16/12/2020 06:51

@Toastybutt

I’ve read the guidance and it’s not mass testing is it? They are having us on. They want to REPLACE isolation with a pretty unreliable test. So it’s testing to keep kids in school NOT to make them safer by day, finding asymptomatic cases. And I would bet a substantial amount of money that there will be a tortuously complicated method of ordering tests and constant delays to orders.
What can possibly go wrong 🤔??

So all those close contacts will now, instead of isolating at home, travel to school, on public transport I assume for secondary, and possibly spread it far and wide. Great, just great.

tartiflette · 16/12/2020 06:52

Aside from the dystopian nightmare of the instruction booklet, I feel the point about this proposed initiative replacing the requirement for close contacts to isolate at home is in danger of being missed. Everyone I've spoken to IRL since this was announced has just heard the headline and thought, yep good idea.
I started off thinking the whole shambolic plot was so ridiculous it was not worth getting worked up about. Now I'm worked up.
The government response to low attendance rates is to insist on everyone rocking up at school, infected or not. I wouldn't be at all surprised if schools were instructed to mark as present those who are close contacts and present for a test for those seven days, regardless of the result. Gotta get that percentage up!

Eng123 · 16/12/2020 06:53

I think it's a great idea actually. I'm not sure why there is such backlash here:

  1. Minimal training is required for a swab test - it is not invasive FFS!
  2. This is likely to have a very positive impact on reducing transmission rates.
  3. Volunteering has always been part of school life.
  4. The risk of transmission to the tester can be minimised quite effectively.
Tes I will volunteer if my childrens schools set up a scheme and I can fit it around work. If you don't want to or can't fit it in fine. I don't see what you object to.
verylittlepen · 16/12/2020 06:53

Where on site will this testing take place?
Colleges have exams after Christmas so space will be limited. will they provide mobile classrooms?

Iamnotthe1 · 16/12/2020 06:55

@Toastybutt @Whyarewehardofthinking

You are completely right. This is a method of keeping children who would be self-isolating in the classroom instead.

It is going to increase the number of presymptomatic and asymptomatic cases within the classroom. Both groups can transmit the virus with the first group still returning negative results initially and the second avoiding being tested. This idea could potentially increase the number of coronavirus transmitters in the classroom. But it will make the short-term attendance look better and that's what seems to be important to the DfE.

It's also deeply concerning that schools are being told to use DfE pre-approved "positive-only" propaganda on their social media in what could only be described as a misinformation campaign.

Cookiecrisps · 16/12/2020 06:55

@noelgiraffe

World beating test and trace system, staffed by Kevin’s mum in what used to be the hall.
This made me laugh. I’d like to say this directive from the government / DfE is unbelievable but since they have cocked up everything relating to schools and Covid it’s not a surprise. What a mess!
PeppermintSoda · 16/12/2020 06:58

The bit about writing positively about it on social media is sinister.

Audacity7 · 16/12/2020 07:00

To those who think it’s a good idea ... what would be a good idea would be weekly testing to find asymptomatic cases to get them home to isolate to protect students and staff. But no let’s keep sending possible asymptomatic contacts in until they test positive and then they can go home ! Don’t worry about all their contacts !! Ffs ! I truly despair. Where are all these government advisers living ? Cloud cuckoo land ?

BethlehemIsInTier1 · 16/12/2020 07:00

I literally despair at this Government, are they trying to take the mick?