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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Making isolating 13 yr old not leave her room for 10 days!!

565 replies

novaparty12 · 14/12/2020 18:43

My niece is 13 and on Friday she was told to isolate by her school as the girl she sits next to tested positive. She lives in London where transmission is really high. I spoke to MIL today who said that my SIL has told her she is not allowed out of her room apart from going to the toilet or having a shower. All meals are left outside her door for her to collect and my SIL went shopping and spend £50 on snacks and drinks so she doesn't have to leave her room. MIL is really worried about her she keeps phoning her in tears. My SIL is autistic and takes everything very very seriously but surely confining a 13 yr old to her room for 10 days is going a bit far isn't it??

OP posts:
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6
Sarahandco · 14/12/2020 20:53

No that is wrong. If she takes things literally, could you get someone she would listen to, to talk to her about what is and isn't necessary.

CodenameVillanelle · 14/12/2020 20:53

@1990shopefulftm

I didn't leave my room except for quick trip to the toilet for 6 days at that age when I got swine flu. My sister was a few weeks old so my mum was terrified of her getting it and just left food outside my door for that time but I was fine so some children that age would be doing it and I wouldn't see it as abusive just that the family could be scared of what effects it could have if other people in the house got it.

However I m not autistic, although my sister is so given that perhaps depending on their child's need it isn't the best thing to have done.

You were actually sick Spending days in bed when you're sick is quite normal
MistletoeandGin · 14/12/2020 20:54

Incidentally, outside of household transmission, the % of people who go on to test positive after being identified as a ‘close contact’ of a positive case is 1.4%. So there is a 98.6% chance that the kid locked in their room does not go on to develop Covid.

countrygirl99 · 14/12/2020 20:55

There are a couple of posters on this thread who are going to be shocked when their kids decide to go NC with them as soon as they can.

SueEllenMishke · 14/12/2020 20:55

I teach in London, and it certainly is the norm.

Yeah right 😂😂

Utter bollocks

Skyla2005 · 14/12/2020 20:56

That’s ridiculous she needs to get a grip

Piwlyfbicsly · 14/12/2020 20:56

@Theotherrudolph
Absolutely agree. I would have zero hesitation and call social services. It's abuse and I don't care, Covid or not. I can't believe someone on this thread believes it's ok to do it to a child, especially to a primary school-aged child. I am scared, genuinely.

timeforanewstart · 14/12/2020 20:57

My understanding is you stay in one room if positive or have symptoms not if si because of school also im sure it said somewhere that this might not be possible with young children etc
Also like others said lots don't have there own room if you have a 2 bed house and 5 of you it can be hard

Oops41 · 14/12/2020 21:00

@Bluegreen70 you've realised what you were saying is utter shite haven't you . Would be extremely impressed if you came back and confirmed that. But you wont.

Wondergirl100 · 14/12/2020 21:00

Wow I cannot believe people are saying this is normal.

There is absolutely no way that primary children are doing this. I am disgusted!!

For a healthy child with no symptoms!

Jourdain11 · 14/12/2020 21:00

My DH spent a week in bed with very bad flu when he was 12 or 13. His mum was pregnant and having a difficult pregnancy, and they wanted to prevent her getting it. But his dad was checking on him all the time and bringing him drinks and snacks and sitting with him chatting (albeit from the other side of the room). There was a real risk. And he was actually sick. Sometimes, such things really are proportionate and necessary - but rarely.

Wondergirl100 · 14/12/2020 21:01

People have lost their minds that we are accepting this in any way whatsoever.

MushMonster · 14/12/2020 21:01

I cannot do this. She stayed in her room most of the time , becapuse she likes this indeed. But I cannot ask her to stay there. No way. So meals were downstairs.
She has never been a close contact. So we did not have to isolate with her. Which I found very weird to deal with.

Fishfingersandwichplease · 14/12/2020 21:01

My dd is isolating and l wouldn't dream of confining her to her room!! At any age!!

NaturesEnd · 14/12/2020 21:02

Fuck my life ds1 has had 3 episodes of quarantine this term, just shut him in a room for 6 weeks with not even a kind touch or hug? Are people actually doing this?

Nicknacky · 14/12/2020 21:02

I’m loving that @Bluegreen70 is avoiding this thread like the plague but is replying freely on others. She must feel daft.

timeforanewstart · 14/12/2020 21:03

Mind you my ds 15 & 17 would have no issue being confined to there rooms and me taking them food and drinks whilst they sat on xbox , unless it was xmas i mean what if your self isolating over xmas would you just leave your child in there room with their presents at the door , i follow the rules but this is one I will be breaking

3littlewords · 14/12/2020 21:04

Good god some of the responses on here are terrifying, in what world is it ok to treat perfectly healthy (no symptoms) children like death row prisoners?? Even if my child was unfortunate to be covid positive i wouldn't treat them in this way. Please go and rescue your niece from her prison cell Sad

TheOrchidKiller · 14/12/2020 21:06

I'm sure the thought of being alone in your room with your phone would appeal to some teenagers, but for 10 days? I'm sure the novelty would wear off.

If you suggested allowing a teenager unlimited access to their phone or screens in their room in a non-covid situation MN would combust!

As the mother of a teen who spent long periods in bed due to a different illness there is no way I would not be going in to check on how they're doing or chat.

MNHQ
LilyMumsnet · 14/12/2020 21:08

Hello everyone - we’ve had reports about this thread from many of you concerned that some of the information shared here may not be accurate.

We understand that these are confusing and anxious times for all of us and, unhelpfully, there’s a lot of fake news circulating on social media about Coronavirus. While we’re not in a position to verify every claim posted on the boards, we do urge everyone to keep in mind that not everything you read on the internet will be based on factual information. (We also know that Mumsnetters are very good at debunking the nonsense!)

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Thanks all and stay safe.

MNHQ

XmasLlama · 14/12/2020 21:11

I reckon my son would like it for about 24 hours and then it would lose its appeal. I just couldn't do it to him

Augustbreeze · 14/12/2020 21:12

Haven't RTFT so don't know if anyone's mentioned this but Autism is included in the list of underlying conditions, therefore yr SIL can be considered Clinically Vulnerable. That could be a factor in this decision?

However if the girl's unhappy then they really need to rethink.

I do know someone who's done this but I think the boy was quite happy to.

WillSantaBeComingToTown · 14/12/2020 21:13

[quote Oops41]@Bluegreen70 you've realised what you were saying is utter shite haven't you . Would be extremely impressed if you came back and confirmed that. But you wont.[/quote]
On another thread they say that their school has been closed more than open for months

Whole school closures have been relatively rare- and usually for a short period.

I would be interested to know which school that has been closed more than open for months- ie this term. Seems odd there has been no press reporting- schoolsweek love a good story.

DameFanny · 14/12/2020 21:15

@canigooutyet

Potentially the girl has CV. She chills out with the family. The family go about doing their business, work, school, shopping etc.

Four days later, oh positive test, and another family member now has symptoms. That person during those 4 days has been in close contact with other people?

Now had the girl (and an adult depending on the age and needs of the girl) SI how many people would have been put at risk unneccesarily when there were other viable options?

This is nothing new, hearing that families forced into this situation daily, are called monsters, cruel, abusive and more is sad.

This.

This is why the guidance says to stay away from the rest of the family.

There's a pandemic on, things aren't normal. But shouting about abuse when this is an exceptional situation is just... Useless.

Randomrebel · 14/12/2020 21:18

I have two friends with 15 year olds both have had positive tests in the last couple of months. One family carried on as per and out of the 5 in the family for caught covid dad without any health issues was hospitalised. Another family only have one 15 year old at home plenty of elderly siblings have moved out. He stayed in his room used his en suite and food was brought up to him on a tray. He recovered and no one else in the household caught covid.