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Original poster

Making isolating 13 yr old not leave her room for 10 days!!

565 replies

novaparty12 · 14/12/2020 18:43

My niece is 13 and on Friday she was told to isolate by her school as the girl she sits next to tested positive. She lives in London where transmission is really high. I spoke to MIL today who said that my SIL has told her she is not allowed out of her room apart from going to the toilet or having a shower. All meals are left outside her door for her to collect and my SIL went shopping and spend £50 on snacks and drinks so she doesn't have to leave her room. MIL is really worried about her she keeps phoning her in tears. My SIL is autistic and takes everything very very seriously but surely confining a 13 yr old to her room for 10 days is going a bit far isn't it??

OP posts:
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6
canigooutyet · 14/12/2020 19:21

Hence I posted both links.
The first says

Self-isolation is when you do not leave your home because you have or might have coronavirus (COVID-19).

She has been told to SI because of a close contact.

Dallerup · 14/12/2020 19:21

@canigooutyet
stay on your own in one room as much as possible and keep the door closed

IF YOU HAVE SYMPTOMS

This kid doesn't. She's a contact of someone who does. Not that I would confine any child of any age to their room even if they did have symptoms. Wouldn't do it for any other illness so why this one. If we had someone particularly vulnerable living here they could make the decision to keep themselves locked away if they wanted to but I certainly wouldn't insist that someone perfectly healthy do it 'just in case'

Meredithgrey1 · 14/12/2020 19:21

@canigooutyet

Self Isolation from the NHS

www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/self-isolation-and-treatment/when-to-self-isolate-and-what-to-do/

www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/self-isolation-and-treatment/how-to-avoid-spreading-coronavirus-to-people-you-live-with/

The very first thing on the second links says

stay on your own in one room as much as possible and keep the door closed
There is no disclaimer about unless....

Exceptions are obvious though. Would you suggest someone did it to a 3 year old, just because it doesn’t say “unless”. Or someone who required care?
treening · 14/12/2020 19:22

Even if my young child had symptoms I wouldn't be making them stay in their room. Completely pointless.

If I was so vulnerable I would go to the extent of feeling that was necessary I'd have pulled them out of school.

CodenameVillanelle · 14/12/2020 19:23

@canigooutyet

Hence I posted both links. The first says

Self-isolation is when you do not leave your home because you have or might have coronavirus (COVID-19).

She has been told to SI because of a close contact.

Yea and it doesn't say confine to her room So if that's the point you were making you didn't express it well because you implied the opposite
99victoria · 14/12/2020 19:23

What if you don't have 'your own room'. What if you're a family of 4/5 in a 2 bedroom flat?

treening · 14/12/2020 19:24

What if you don't have 'your own room'. What if you're a family of 4/5 in a 2 bedroom flat?

They don't exist in the MN narrow universe.

TempsPerdu · 14/12/2020 19:25

This is completely normal. Children all over the UK are in this situation. Any child sent home to self isolate who has siblings, or vulnerable family members. We expect any children we send home to be confined to their rooms. Toilet use excepted, but the toilet will need to be cleaned very thoroughly after they have used it. If there are two toilets in the house, then one for the isolator, and one for everyone else in the family. At 13, she just has to suck it up.Primary school children are coping

Ha, literally none of the parents I know would even countenance this - and I would consider it abusive if any of them did.

So much unnecessary and irrational cruelty going on in the name of covid. The next pandemic will be one of young people’s mental health.

TakeMe2Insanity · 14/12/2020 19:25

Could you suggest that they mask up and then let her be in the house as normal?

CustardySergeant · 14/12/2020 19:26

@Clockstop

I know someone who did this to their 5 yo and then had a household party downstairs to celebrate one of their birthdays and making a big point she wasnt invited. Bizarrely cruel, particularly as none of the rest of the family were in any vulnerable categories.
That's sadistic. Anyone who can treat their own child so cruelly shouldn't bloody have children!
canigooutyet · 14/12/2020 19:26

How long to isolate etc. Nothing about unless you are under whatever age.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/self-isolation-and-treatment/how-long-to-self-isolate/

What do you think is the definition of SI?
Lots and lots of info about how to stop the spread. And this is why SI is required. Remember, the biggest spread is within homes.

Of course it's not easy confined to one room. People have to do it on a daily basis and did well before CV came along.

NeurologicallySpeaking · 14/12/2020 19:27

I also teach in London and this has not been happening with the children I know. Plenty of self-isolating at home. None confined to their bedrooms.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 14/12/2020 19:27

@treening

What if you don't have 'your own room'. What if you're a family of 4/5 in a 2 bedroom flat?

They don't exist in the MN narrow universe.

This. If either DH or I get it we won't be isolating from each other as it's not possible and I'm sure we're not the only peasants on MN without a spare room or second bathroom!
isawthat · 14/12/2020 19:28

I personally wouldn’t be able to do this, mental health is important too!. I also couldn’t do this as I have a 3 bed house and 3 DC, so there isn’t enough room for this!.

FreekStar · 14/12/2020 19:28

This is NOT what is expected of a child who is sent home because they have been within 2m of a confirmed case!

They have to remain at home and not mix with members outside of they own household or visit public place.

FFS! Some of the children are being sent home regularly- my dd has already had two separate isolation periods and some children in her school have had 3- it would be totally unreasonable for children to be kept isolated from their families for which amounts to 6 full weeks within the last term. Ridiculous! Any parent or teacher who expects this needs to take a long hard look at themselves!

Arundelclassrom · 14/12/2020 19:28

I'm really concerned that there is a teacher on this thread suggesting parents do this to their children. Let's be clear, we should not be advocating abuse and abandonment of your child when they most need emotional support from the family who they love...
What has society come to?!?!

Favouritebauble · 14/12/2020 19:29

@Bluegreen70 you are totally bonkers. Some kids have isolated 4, 5 times this term. Are you going to imprison them each time? Of course they continue to live normally in the house! Isolating is a precaution!

Suzi888 · 14/12/2020 19:29

. Any child sent home to self isolate who has siblings, or vulnerable family members. We expect any children we send home to be confined to their rooms. Toilet use excepted, but the toilet will need to be cleaned very thoroughly after they have used it. If there are two toilets in the house, then one for the isolator, and one for everyone else in the family.

At 13, she just has to suck it up.Primary school children are coping.

No, they’re really not doing this Confused there’s a lot of ridiculous comments on this thread.

InTheLongGrass · 14/12/2020 19:29

www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/testing-and-tracing/nhs-test-and-trace-if-youve-been-in-contact-with-a-person-who-has-coronavirus/

Self-isolate immediately
If you're told to self-isolate by NHS Test and Trace or the NHS COVID-19 app:
........
.......
try to avoid contact with anyone you live with as much as possible

We havnt been doing this with our 11 yr old (out of school 3 times since Sept), but we should have been minimising contact.

fruitypancake · 14/12/2020 19:30

That is bloody ridiculous and cruel

Lovemusic33 · 14/12/2020 19:31

My 16 year old would be happy with that arrangement but my 14 year old wouldn’t be, each child is different and if she’s not happy to stay in her room she shouldn’t be forced too, she doesn’t have covid, she was just near someone that did.

Londoncatshed · 14/12/2020 19:31

I don’t know any children that are self isolating, as their school bubble has burst, that have to stay in their room. All those saying this is normal, I’m shocked. If she had Covid, I would understand it more but even then unless living with a vulnerable person, I still wouldn’t expect one of my children, to be confined to their room.

Our bubble has bust several times and the kids just didn’t leave the house. They were allowed anywhere in the house, ate with us etc.

Someone needs to explain this to your SIL.

canigooutyet · 14/12/2020 19:31

It's not easy of course it isn't. Through my old job I came into contact with families who children had SN and over crowded, living areas often cramped and the SN individual confined to their room.

I am not saying this is fine. When it comes to a lot of health things in this country we could do a lot better.

Next there will be people coming along saying that elderly people aren't living in similar conditions either, nor have they ever been,.

TheRuncibleSpoonofDoom · 14/12/2020 19:33

@canigooutyet you're wrong, that's only when you have symptoms, which this child doesn't have.

@Bluegreen70 if your school have been telling parents and children that kids from a burst bubble need ru be confined to their room, then you're school needs reporting. That is not, and never has been the advice.

The lack of understanding out there is shocking, really.

NeurologicallySpeaking · 14/12/2020 19:34

If one of my children gets it, I would rather take our chances as a household than leave them in their room given that a) by the time we found out we all would have been exposed anyway and b) we would religiously SI as a household so wouldn't put other families at risk.

It is so transmissible- staff at school have had it who are working 2m apart from one another but for long periods of time.

Others one person has had it, asymptomatically but their wife didn't catch it despite them obviously sharing a bed.

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