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Original poster

Making isolating 13 yr old not leave her room for 10 days!!

565 replies

novaparty12 · 14/12/2020 18:43

My niece is 13 and on Friday she was told to isolate by her school as the girl she sits next to tested positive. She lives in London where transmission is really high. I spoke to MIL today who said that my SIL has told her she is not allowed out of her room apart from going to the toilet or having a shower. All meals are left outside her door for her to collect and my SIL went shopping and spend £50 on snacks and drinks so she doesn't have to leave her room. MIL is really worried about her she keeps phoning her in tears. My SIL is autistic and takes everything very very seriously but surely confining a 13 yr old to her room for 10 days is going a bit far isn't it??

OP posts:
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DreadingSeason2020sFinale · 15/12/2020 10:57

It's 2020. Does anyone actually think she was completely alone? Full days of playing Roblox or whatever the game of the moment is, constant online chatting with all her buddies and us, DH, her siblings and I chatting through her door (where she would tell us to go away cos she was listening to music or making a stupid tiktok video or something?) it's a small flat and the room she is in is right in the hall we use all day long. She's not alone. She's just in the next room. As she and her siblings are usually. Unless my kids are completely different to every other teen and preteen out there, they spend most of their time in their bedrooms anyway. She genuinely hasn't minded at all.

Now IF she was getting upset by it and calling grannies in tears of course that's a different matter, but there is no lock on her door. She's just staying in her room chilling to keep everyone safe and to get us all out of isolation faster.

And she loved her birthday. I even baked her cupcakes.

Bollss · 15/12/2020 10:58

I still don't think it's right no matter how happy you might think she is.

MistletoeandGin · 15/12/2020 10:59

@DreadingSeason2020sFinale

It's 2020. Does anyone actually think she was completely alone? Full days of playing Roblox or whatever the game of the moment is, constant online chatting with all her buddies and us, DH, her siblings and I chatting through her door (where she would tell us to go away cos she was listening to music or making a stupid tiktok video or something?) it's a small flat and the room she is in is right in the hall we use all day long. She's not alone. She's just in the next room. As she and her siblings are usually. Unless my kids are completely different to every other teen and preteen out there, they spend most of their time in their bedrooms anyway. She genuinely hasn't minded at all.

Now IF she was getting upset by it and calling grannies in tears of course that's a different matter, but there is no lock on her door. She's just staying in her room chilling to keep everyone safe and to get us all out of isolation faster.

And she loved her birthday. I even baked her cupcakes.

I think a 10 year old having unlimited screen time is shit, whatever the reason.
MistletoeandGin · 15/12/2020 11:00

I even baked her cupcakes

Your medal is in the post.

TempsPerdu · 15/12/2020 11:00

I’m just aghast reading some of these replies. We seem to have reached a point where parents are terrified of their own kids, while the media reports on an entire generation of people (school children/students) as though they’re nothing more than disease vectors out to kill grandma.

DreadingSeason2020sFinale · 15/12/2020 11:01

The "creating a wind tunnel" was to properly air her room regularly. Who wants to sit in a gross stuffy room? It also needs cleaning too. She's 11 so I'm not sure going to hand her cleaning supplies and make her do it.

MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 15/12/2020 11:05

Helmetbymidnight I'm educated to** post-degree level and get the vast majority of my information from experts like Prof Carl Heneghan and the epidemiologist Dr Sunetra Gupta not Barry from Blackpool you muppet. These are highly experienced scientific experts so.......🤷‍♀️

DreadingSeason2020sFinale · 15/12/2020 11:06

It's sad to me that people aren't giving children the credit they deserve. 10 days chilling in a bedroom isn't damaging my daughters mental health. She's still in contact with everyone and is quite content sitting in there doing what she enjoys. If she wants us, we're there in a second.

MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 15/12/2020 11:07

Have a read of this from the JAMA 3.8% of household clusters caused by paediatric index case. Ie children are not super spreaders

jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2774102

Bollss · 15/12/2020 11:08

@DreadingSeason2020sFinale

It's sad to me that people aren't giving children the credit they deserve. 10 days chilling in a bedroom isn't damaging my daughters mental health. She's still in contact with everyone and is quite content sitting in there doing what she enjoys. If she wants us, we're there in a second.
But you're not there are you. You won't go in the same room as her. Give her a cuddle? You might think she's happy but she might just be telling you what you want to hear.
OliveTree75 · 15/12/2020 11:09

@DreadingSeason2020sFinale

Oops, forgot I just quickly name changed for another thread. But yes, we isolated our daughter on her birthday. We all stood away from her bedroom door and watched her open her gifts.
Wow. This is not okay.
MistletoeandGin · 15/12/2020 11:11

@DreadingSeason2020sFinale

It's sad to me that people aren't giving children the credit they deserve. 10 days chilling in a bedroom isn't damaging my daughters mental health. She's still in contact with everyone and is quite content sitting in there doing what she enjoys. If she wants us, we're there in a second.
I might not give my children the ‘credit’ they deserve, but I give them the hugs, the company, the care and the physical affection that they deserve. My daughter was in isolation for her birthday. She spent the day downstairs with her family, where she belongs.
Vintagevixen · 15/12/2020 11:14

My DD could have a positive test, be coughing and sneezing up Covid laden sputum all over me and I still wouldn't do this.

When she got swine flu as a toddler I shared it. When she got the inevitable childhood vomiting viruses I shared it. I look after her and reassure her when she is ill because she is my child.

She's currently self isolating after her bubble had one positive - the house is hers to roam free and unfettered. No virus with an IPR of 0.3 - 0.6 % (WHO figures) that rises with age is going to stop that.

Think back to how we treated HIV patients in the early days of that epidemic and the psychological damage treating them like untouchables caused.

MessAllOver · 15/12/2020 11:14

Too much screen time affects children's development and worsens their mental health.

It was ok back in March - we stuck them all in front of the TV because it was only going to be for a "little while".

Ten months later...

DreadingSeason2020sFinale · 15/12/2020 11:15

My daughter was in isolation for her birthday. She spent the day downstairs with her family, where she belongs.

Did she have Covid or was she in isolation due to being a potential contact?

MistletoeandGin · 15/12/2020 11:16

@DreadingSeason2020sFinale

My daughter was in isolation for her birthday. She spent the day downstairs with her family, where she belongs.

Did she have Covid or was she in isolation due to being a potential contact?

In isolation due to being a close contact (her teacher tested positive). If she had Covid, my decision would have been the same.
Alexandernevermind · 15/12/2020 11:16

We are heading for a mental health crisis. If anyone thinks leaving a child crying locked in their room for 2 weeks is acceptable then I really do despair. If you are that worried about the spread then isolate with them.

Bollss · 15/12/2020 11:16

I wouldn't isolate my child on their birthday (or ever tbh) even if they tested positive.

AldiAisleofCrap · 15/12/2020 11:17

@Vintagevixen *
My DD could have a positive test, be coughing and sneezing up Covid laden sputum all over me and I still wouldn't do this. good for you , are you single parent with blood cancer? Because if you were you may think again as to which would distress your child more you dying and your child blaming herself, or two week in her room watching Netflix.

Delatron · 15/12/2020 11:19

Yes why can’t the whole family just isolate together? Talk about selfish. I would nurse my child through any illness.
I don’t care about myself but I would care about their mental health.

This thread is so shocking and upsetting.

LittleTiger007 · 15/12/2020 11:20

This is unacceptable child abuse. Isolating means isolating with your household! Everyone in the home needs to stay home but can and should be mixing with each other. This girl is a child.
I would call social services... but I’m guessing they wouldn’t do much. So sad.
I would definitely point out to your sil that this is tantamount to hideous abuse and she is neglecting her child. Neglect in law isn’t simply withholding food. It’s withholding company, attention and love.

Delatron · 15/12/2020 11:20

That poor girl isolated on her birthday. She’ll remember that forever. Well done.

Delatron · 15/12/2020 11:21

Yes it’s child abuse. Utterly selfish.

DreadingSeason2020sFinale · 15/12/2020 11:21

I agree, leaving a child crying in a bedroom is completely unacceptable.

If my daughter wants me at any point, I am there. That said, mine doesn't want me in there. Rolls her eyes if I ever want a cuddle. A parent isolating a child like described in the OP is awful. In that case I would be isolating with her. Our way is working because it's okay with DD. If it weren't we would have to rethink.

Bollss · 15/12/2020 11:22

[quote AldiAisleofCrap]**@Vintagevixen*
My DD could have a positive test, be coughing and sneezing up Covid laden sputum all over me and I still wouldn't do this. good for you , are you single parent with blood cancer? Because if you were you may think again as to which would distress your child more you dying and your child blaming herself, or two week in her room watching Netflix.[/quote]
I would make alternative arrangements. If there was a family member or a friend who would agree to have my child for the period of their isolation.