Making isolating 13 yr old not leave her room for 10 days!!

[novaparty12]

My niece is 13 and on Friday she was told to isolate by her school as the girl she sits next to tested positive. She lives in London where transmission is really high. I spoke to MIL today who said that my SIL has told her she is not allowed out of her room apart from going to the toilet or having a shower. All meals are left outside her door for her to collect and my SIL went shopping and spend £50 on snacks and drinks so she doesn't have to leave her room. MIL is really worried about her she keeps phoning her in tears. My SIL is autistic and takes everything very very seriously but surely confining a 13 yr old to her room for 10 days is going a bit far isn't it??

Just spotted your username @MrsArchchancellorRidcully. You really didn't learn anything from Pratchett did you?

My son has been sent home on three separate occasions since September and told to isolate for exactly the same reason. No way did I make him sit in his bedroom for 6 weeks when he wasn’t showing symptoms. That would have been cruel. Today he told me he is fed up with studying remotely. It is starting to affect our kids.

@ginandvomit

No this is appropriate action to stop the spread. It makes me really sad to watch and and see how poorly the UK is managing Covid and how relaxed everyone is. In my country we now have zero community transmission however I still have to check in where ever I go, many wear face masks, and most practice social distancing. Only in the last week or two have restrictions lifted and they will go straight back if we see any local transmission. We are still dealing with a high positive rate on returned travellers which is our biggest risk at the Moment. They are all strictly quarantined for two weeks.

As you're not in the UK how would you know that everyone is relaxed ? That's not my experience. Well done for living in such a sensible country though. The OP's SiL has misunderstood the guidance and is at risk of doing more harm than good to her own daughter and needs to have the finer points explained. And keeping a healthy 13year old in her bedroom for a fortnight isn't 'appropriate action'.

My teenage son got covid.. He was quite poorly. I couldn't imagine leaving him. In his room alone to suffer..
I gave him loads of hugs to make him feel better..
That's what a parent does.. Is it not??

@ginandvomit

No this is appropriate action to stop the spread. It makes me really sad to watch and and see how poorly the UK is managing Covid and how relaxed everyone is. In my country we now have zero community transmission however I still have to check in where ever I go, many wear face masks, and most practice social distancing. Only in the last week or two have restrictions lifted and they will go straight back if we see any local transmission. We are still dealing with a high positive rate on returned travellers which is our biggest risk at the Moment. They are all strictly quarantined for two weeks.

Well if it makes you so sad stop watching then. Bye.

My dd is 15, I am extremely vulnerable. She went to stay with my mum for three weeks during the summer holidays to allow her to live a 'normal' life on the proviso that she isolate in her room (with en-suite and study attached) for a week on return before rejoining the household, she agreed to this. Now I'm wondering if this was cruel too? Although there can be a big difference between a 13 year old and a 15 year old. I guess it depends on how much he enjoys his own company?🤔

I think if it's an option and the child is happy then ideally you should.

We did a couple of weeks ago - DS is 17 and had been at his Dads for the weekend, on the Tuesday morning I had a text from his Dad to say DS's little sister had tested positive. I spoke to DS who stayed in his room until the Sunday , only coming out to use the bathroom (only he used)

I felt he was higher risk though than say someone who had say been sat near an ill person on a bus for example. He'd spent an entire weekend, no social distancing, sharing bathrooms/cars even hugs! So it felt a bit too close to home.

DS was happy and he had everything he needed. I would have thought differently if he was upset etc

To me it's a classic case of the end not justifying the means, as has so often been the case throughout the pandemic. If the government produced some evidence that physically abusing children might "save lives", we still shouldn't do it. I don't see that this is any different.

Added to that I have seen very little evidence that our tracing of close contacts is doing anything to reduce the spread. I don't know about the 1.4% figure quoted above but this (www.thelancet.com/journals/laninf/article/PIIS1473-3099(20)30833-1/fulltext#seccestitle130) is an interesting study which looked at transmission to close contacts in Singapore. Of 3508 "social close contacts" (30 mins or more less than 2m apart not including work or household contacts) there were 47 symptomatic covid cases identified. That's 1.3%, which makes the 1.4% figure sound plausible. The prevalence of covid in the population at the moment isn't far off 1.3% which really raises questions about the justification for close contact self isolation (let alone locking children in their rooms).

I would be very cautious about children voluntarily choosing to isolate in their rooms too. If the message they are being fed is that if they don't do this they will pass on a deadly virus they aren't making a free decision.

@NeurologicallySpeaking Apologies - wasn't trying to imply that all teachers think like this.

It's very sad but called evolution and survival of the fittest

Yikes

@Chessie678

To me it's a classic case of the end not justifying the means, as has so often been the case throughout the pandemic. If the government produced some evidence that physically abusing children might "save lives", we still shouldn't do it. I don't see that this is any different.

Added to that I have seen very little evidence that our tracing of close contacts is doing anything to reduce the spread. I don't know about the 1.4% figure quoted above but this (www.thelancet.com/journals/laninf/article/PIIS1473-3099(20)30833-1/fulltext#seccestitle130) is an interesting study which looked at transmission to close contacts in Singapore. Of 3508 "social close contacts" (30 mins or more less than 2m apart not including work or household contacts) there were 47 symptomatic covid cases identified. That's 1.3%, which makes the 1.4% figure sound plausible. The prevalence of covid in the population at the moment isn't far off 1.3% which really raises questions about the justification for close contact self isolation (let alone locking children in their rooms).

I would be very cautious about children voluntarily choosing to isolate in their rooms too. If the message they are being fed is that if they don't do this they will pass on a deadly virus they aren't making a free decision.

@NeurologicallySpeaking Apologies - wasn't trying to imply that all teachers think like this.

This is spot on. Of course you shouldn’t confine a child to their room. Just think a year ago it would be child abuse. Children haven’t changed. Grim it’s even a question.

@frasersmummy

My teenage son got covid.. He was quite poorly. I couldn't imagine leaving him. In his room alone to suffer.. I gave him loads of hugs to make him feel better.. That's what a parent does.. Is it not??

This with bells on. When one of my young children caught norovirus, I didn't leave them with a bucket and tell them to get on with it. I cared for them even though it made it nearly inevitable that I would get it.

I didn't then go out shopping and seeing friends and spreading it to other households. But in the 2 bedroom flat with single tiny bathroom we were living in, it was fairly likely we would all catch it and had been exposed prior to symptoms being shown.

And for all the many teachers on this thread, I for one will be listening very carefully to how primary children in particular are being treated and if I feel any of our parents are being emotionally abusive or neglectful, I will flag to Children's Services and let them decide.

Also imagine horror of horrors that your child or teen was one of the fraction of a fraction of a percent that ended up hospitalised. And the last thing they remember before going into hospital is that you confined them to their room to suffer alone to protect yourself. Obviously if you were CEV that would be different but under normal circumstances it is an overreaction.

I'm rather shocked. If there is a vulnerable adult in the house and their child is home self isolating, if there are other adults in the house then it's the vulnerable adult who should choose to stay in another room, not the child. Children are not resilient and robust enough to do so and for children in Primary School it is highly abusive and people shouldn't even be countenancing the idea.

This is not normal at all. She doesn't have the virus, she was a close contact. All of my children, secondary age, have been close contacts and I wouldn't dream of making them stay in their rooms. Even when I had it a few weeks ago and I did isolate, the children all popped in to see me, even though I told them not to.

Egregious eugenicist shite spouted by a conspiracy theorist. You should be ashamed of yourself

Wtf did she say that said "conspiracy theorist" to you?

@movingonup20

My dd only leaves her room under duress anyway ... I think the advice is to stay away from other household members if possible, if they don't the whole household has to isolate don't they?

No. She hasn't got symptoms. She is a contact. Therefore only she needs to isolate.

@ginandvomit

No this is appropriate action to stop the spread. It makes me really sad to watch and and see how poorly the UK is managing Covid and how relaxed everyone is. In my country we now have zero community transmission however I still have to check in where ever I go, many wear face masks, and most practice social distancing. Only in the last week or two have restrictions lifted and they will go straight back if we see any local transmission. We are still dealing with a high positive rate on returned travellers which is our biggest risk at the Moment. They are all strictly quarantined for two weeks.

Presumably children aren't isolated on their own, though? Yeah, didn't think so. I hate all this faux "it makes me so sad" when you clearly want to say "Australia / newzealand are so much better than you, ha!"

@MassiveSalad

Absolute madness. I can't believe what people are prepared to do. We will look back on this time in 10 years and think just what the fuck did we do.

I think we'll look back and say "why the fuck didn't we take more drastic measures?"

People need to get a grip and stop whining. Lounging around with shelter, food, tv, phone and internet for 10 days is not a fate worse than death. I'd be embarrassed to have raised such a needy teen.

I'd be embarrassed to be such a cold and uncaring parent, I'd be embarrassed when I had an adult child who hated me for it.

@TrustTheGeneGenie

Egregious eugenicist shite spouted by a conspiracy theorist. You should be ashamed of yourself

Wtf did she say that said "conspiracy theorist" to you?

She said bedwetters brainwashed by the MSM, which is a classic slur aimed at people who listen to medics and scientists, made by people who watch YouTube videos and subscribe to Facebook pages telling them masks will kill them.

Probably also thinks that listening to doctors makes you a Boris Johnson fangirl. There is no end to the stupidity and incoherence of a self-described 'truth seeker'

She said bedwetters brainwashed by the MSM, which is a classic slur aimed at people who listen to medics and scientists, made by people who watch YouTube videos and subscribe to Facebook pages telling them masks will kill them

She didn't say any of that did she? You've just said all that.

Probably also thinks that listening to doctors makes you a Boris Johnson fangirl. There is no end to the stupidity and incoherence of a self-described 'truth seeker' sad

Again you've just made that up. Your comment has said more about you than it has about her.

She didn't deny the virus. The msm massively overhyped the danger to begin with, doesn't make you a conspiracy theorist to realise that.

@TrustTheGeneGenie

I'd be embarrassed to be such a cold and uncaring parent, I'd be embarrassed when I had an adult child who hated me for it.

So potentially spreading the disease and thus endangering health care providers and fellow citizens, to pacify a needy teen, isn't cold and uncaring?

Remember, kids can and do spread Covid when they themselves display no symptoms.

Explain the concept of "the greater good" and "societal responsibility " to these self-centered youth.

@IamHyouweegobshite

This is not normal at all. She doesn't have the virus, she was a close contact. All of my children, secondary age, have been close contacts and I wouldn't dream of making them stay in their rooms. Even when I had it a few weeks ago and I did isolate, the children all popped in to see me, even though I told them not to.

Has she tested negative?

Do people still not get the concept of asymptomatic transmission??? Still???

"So potentially spreading the disease and thus endangering health care providers and fellow citizens, to pacify a needy teen, isn't cold and uncaring?"

This is how it ends @PerveenMistry not with a bang but a simper