Solve the 3 household conundrum to stop my MIL's tears

[CupofTeaforMePlease]

What would you do if you were me:

Me and DH and DC = 1 household.

DH's Mum and her DC = 1 household

DH's Dad = 1 household (stays overnight with his new gf so not sure if he counts as bubble to DH's Mum and their DC?)

DH's DB and his wife = 1 household

DH's DSis lives alone so can bubble with DH's Mum?

DMil's bf = 1 household.

I'm thinking just stay out of it for one year. It's too complicated and risky I think. But could there be a solution here? DH reckons if MIL didn't see her bf then that would be fine as his DF and DSis counts as one bubble???

My MIL is liable to cry if we say we can't see her this year.

And she hasn't even considered my family in all of this!

Doesn’t that still make you a bubble of 4 households or have I misread?

Are you saying Dh mum and dad live together still but he stays at his girlfriend’s?

The solution is she can't see everyone this Christmas.
She can see her daughter and you and your DH OR her daughter and her other son.

Whoever doesnt see MIL sees FIL. Everyone sees someone.

Stay out of it that is just too many people and would mean you cant see your family at all.

I'd bubble with someone else. It's too complicated, otherwise!

As a pp said, does that not still make you four? You and your dh and dc, mil and her dc plus sil in one bubble, DH brother and wife, and then your DH's dad?

his mum and her dc plus his Dsis would count as 1 household

His dad would be household 2 (only the dc are counted in both households if under 18)

his dbro would be household 3

boyfriend would be household 4

yourselves would be household 5, even if you say no she's going over the allowed that's if I've read everything correctly

Four households / bubbles I mean

Stay at home dont see anyone steer clear of the drama. Your MIL sounds a nightmare tbh.

Well she will just have to cry?! It's ONE year, yes it's shit but there's no alternative, someone is always going to miss out.

I’d be inclined to go with “not my circus, not my monekys.”

Tell them you're seeing your family this year! (even if you're not)

In two or three years time questions like this will start appearing on the GCSE maths and RS syllabi.

She's not considered any of the wives' families! I'd guess DB's wife might want to be in a different bubble too?

Stay out of it. She may cry but it's better than her dying of COVID isn't it.

Then cry if MIL suggests you shouldn't!

just because the government is allowing 3 households to meet doesn't mean the virus is taking a holiday too. if anyone in these bubbles is vulnerable, then don't meet up. Or only meet for hot chocolate outside.

quiet christmas at home this year for everyone.

Tbh, there is no solution to your dilemma. Choices will have to be made.

Just stay home and, no one will be alone. Meet for walks, take a flask and wrap up warm

As hard as it is, for this year only, don't take the risk. I would be heart broken if anything happened to my family. Watching someone die of Covid is unbearable. It impacts not only the family but the people that care for them in hospital.

We are so close of a vaccine. Why take the risk? Covid does not respect rules - it just infects.

I would rather make someone cry than unintentionally make them ill.

In spring we can have the time of our lives. Not now.

She'll have to cry unfortunately.
I'd be staying home in my own household bubble.
Mil and dsis- household 1
BF - household 2
DF(sharing dc with mil) and gf- household 3.

You, DH family and dbro + family could bubble? With perhaps a household from your 'side'? I however, personally I'd keep to ourselves as dbro's wife will also likely have family she'll want to see

That is very complicated. Can you and DH not just drop in for a quick visit at some point when no one else is there?

I'm thinking just stay out of it for one year. It's too complicated and risky I think
I agree, just stay at home with your own household this year. Then the rest of the family on all sides are being treated equally and can't feel hard done by. Plus you'll be doing your bit in stopping virus transmission and keeping everyone safe.
Save yourself the stress of these complicated arrangements. See people next year, maybe outside or when vaccines have been given or virus levels are low and restrictions have been lifted.

There are five households as your dh father can’t bubble with dh mum and stay over at the girlfriends, he can bubble with her though but the kids could swap between both dh father and mother’s household.

Tbh who do you want to see out of the remaining 4?

Personally I would be saying I am spending Christmas on our own, the rest can do as they wish

Split it up into bubbles of three. It's one year. As long as noone is on their own it's what we've all got to grow up and do. You can't see everyone.

"My MIL is liable to cry if we say we can't see her this year."
Emotional blackmail. For that alone it'd be a hard-faced 'we can't see you this year' from me.

"And she hasn't even considered my family in all of this!"
Well since you won't be seeing her that makes them top of the list now, surely?