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Christmas poll

223 replies

Thorilicious · 22/11/2020 09:56

We as a family have decided that, regardless of what the government allows mixing wise at Christmas, we aren't spending Christmas with anyone else. We will pop over to my parents, and have a chat through the window, but that's it. DH and I are both key workers, so don't want to risk spreading the virus for the sake of one get together.
Will you mix if they say it's allowed?
Yes-I'm seeing my family if it's allowed
No-We aren't mixing.
No arguments from me either way, just curious what everyone else is thinking.

OP posts:
Bikingbear · 23/11/2020 07:57

TheSockMonster
Esp with a child living elsewhere Mon-Fri I can see why you don't want to take the risk.

It must be so hard for all elderly people. And winter is grim, dark, cold so not even good for people to chat across the garden fence. I really do feel for elderly people on their own.
I've just read the Pfizer's vaccine could be approved this week. Fingers crossed that it does and Granny gets it before the year end.

wondersun · 23/11/2020 08:01

No

OpheliasCrayon · 23/11/2020 08:04

Will see family irrespective of rules

Nonamesavail · 23/11/2020 08:05

We live opposite a park. May wrap up and see if my mum and dad want to meet us there.

TheSockMonster · 23/11/2020 08:07

It’s been a torturous year for those who are elderly and alone.

I suppose I posted because lots of the replies on this thread took a rather simplistic view of mixing/not mixing. Lots of ‘why would you take the risk and kill a loved one’ or ‘it’s their decision, families should be together’ type answers. The reality for us has been murky and somewhere in the middle.

CrunchyCarrot · 23/11/2020 08:08

Yes, will be having MIL (in her mid 70s) over to stay for several days, if it's allowed. She hasn't seen us all year and would be on her own otherwise.

MyNameForToday1980 · 23/11/2020 08:11

We will invite my parents (2 households, 4 adults, 1 child, including us).

And leave it up to them if they visit (DF is/was clinically vulnerable).

We won't see anyone else.

Calmandmeasured1 · 23/11/2020 08:17

I really want to see all my family but I think I would prefer to just stick to my support bubble for Christmas. I don't want to risk undoing all the good and have some family members put at risk.

Anna783426 · 23/11/2020 08:28

Not sure, it's still up for debate.

I think I'd be happy going for a walk with my Mum, and separately with MIL/FIL around Christmas season but just know if we go to MILs house rules will be pushed and pushed and I'll regret it. So hopefully a couple of good weather days around Christmas for a walk or two and we can have a cosy Christmas at home.

I do find the bubble idea tricky as it forces families to choose who to see, and inevitably cuts off one side of the family. Our baby will turn one on New Year's Eve - it seems unfair to decide one side or the other from our parents but not sure if I'm being selfish in saying actually we'll just spend it by ourselves.

rumandbiscuits · 23/11/2020 08:34

Yes I will be seeing my family.

boon · 23/11/2020 08:34

No mixing here. We're too close to vaccination. Would be silly to risk elderly relatives now.

Rolopolo2000 · 23/11/2020 08:35

* very hard to know what to do for the best. It might be a selfish thing to say, but I don’t want her death on the DC’s consciences.*

You have said this a couple of times as a reason to not see this lonely and desperate elderly, frail relative - who has pleaded to see you and not be alone on Christmas.

  1. If she did get covid, why would it be on your children’s conscience and not yours?

In any event - it shouldn’t be on anyone’s conscience unless one of you are showing symptoms, waiting for a test result or having to self isolate because of track and trace or school year sent gone to isolate.

If no reason to think you have it, then I think you would unquestionably be doing the right thing to listen to this women, actually listen to what she is saying. She chooses quality of life.

confusedbeyond · 23/11/2020 08:37

No mixing here. Trying to keep everyone safe til we can be vaccinated.

Bimbleboo · 23/11/2020 08:37

No none here. Has already started huge levels of conflict and resentment within the family becsuse they are seeing news reports that BoJo says it’s ok to mix, yet we are saying no.
I feel like making the choice to do your own assessment and decide it’s not worth potentially contributing to a surge of cases for the nhs in January, is very much going to make you a villain this year now that the blustering idiot is announcing all is well and fine. He’s unlikely to bother addressing that we are doing this in spite of the substantial risk it imposes and the inevitable increase in cases/deaths.
He owes that to the country so that people cannot do what they did in summer and pretend to be naive so they can fulfil their own preferences. People will assume because the government ‘allow’ it, it must be ‘safe’.
I’m not saying no one should mix as many have all kinds of different circumstances and reasonings. But by implying it’s ‘fine’ to have families come together, and just brushing over the consequences, many who would have avoided mixing and been ok with it, will instead meet up because family pressure them to , or because there seems no tangible reason to put yourself out when it’s being encouraged now to do the opposite (EOTHO again)

Our normal family Xmas would involve people travelling from Wales, France and Portugal into scotland a few days before Xmas eve and all staying in one house for around a week. Lots of shopping required for food and gifts and alcohol so four sets of people in many, many, MANY shops as well as all those airports and taxis and restaurants and pubs along the way.

Am aware that’s great for the economy but it’s also hugely impactful regarding spread compared to us refusing and therefore everyone else staying put where they are, (although sulking).

Every headline makes me wince because I just know there is shrieking somewhere about how unreasonable and callous I’m being ‘ruining everyone’s Christmas’ when they see all this crap from Boris implying it’s going to be fine to mix.

None of our family would entertain the idea of quarantine on arrival to the country. They would all assume that if he says it’s fine to do Xmas, and they don’t feel extremely unwell, and no one is going to come and force them, they won’t be putting themselves out in any way. This was a main factor in my decision.

Rolopolo2000 · 23/11/2020 08:45

Every headline makes me wince because I just know there is shrieking somewhere about how unreasonable and callous I’m being ‘ruining everyone’s Christmas’ when they see all this crap from Boris implying it’s going to be fine to mix.

I’m baffled. These people are family. Obviously close family if you spend every Christmas together.

But doesn’t seem a loving loving. You say “huge levels of conflict and resentment” “shrieking” you’re a “villain”

A loving family may be disappointed but this kind of reaction indicates that you’re better off spending Christmas without them

Rolopolo2000 · 23/11/2020 08:46

In fact, reading your post again - you don’t seem to like this family let alone love them!

laudemio · 23/11/2020 08:49

We are seeing my mum as we are her support bubble, but no one else.
We've also done all our Christmas shopping online so won't be heading out.

TheSockMonster · 23/11/2020 08:50

If she did get covid, why would it be on your children’s conscience and not yours?

Because the younger 2 DC have expressed worry over it.

TheSockMonster · 23/11/2020 08:53

I don’t mean to say it would be their fault, but that I worry they would feel it was their fault.

It’s not a decision that was taken lightly and, like any complicated decision, the information I’ve posted here is a very simplified version of the whole story.

It might be the wrong decision, but it was made in good faith.

Rolopolo2000 · 23/11/2020 09:00

@TheSockMonster

I don’t mean to say it would be their fault, but that I worry they would feel it was their fault.

It’s not a decision that was taken lightly and, like any complicated decision, the information I’ve posted here is a very simplified version of the whole story.

It might be the wrong decision, but it was made in good faith.

If you now feel the wrong decision You have time to change it And to talk to the children (how old are they?) To explain about mental health Balancing the risk Quality of life Respecting this woman’s choice
MyPersona · 23/11/2020 09:03

Every headline makes me wince because I just know there is shrieking somewhere about how unreasonable and callous I’m being ‘ruining everyone’s Christmas’ when they see all this crap from Boris implying it’s going to be fine to mix.

I don’t think it’s fair to say that anyone has implied it’s going to be fine to mix. Quite clearly the more mixing the higher the risk of spread. There is a massive amount of pressure to relax restrictions and ‘save Christmas’, mostly from our irresponsible media, and you can bet your life that whatever is announced they’ll be immediately denouncing and debunking the rationale and we’ll be subjected to a raft of personal sad face stories from people ‘left out’ or who aren’t perfectly satisfied with the arrangement. I for one am fucking sick of it.

starfish4 · 23/11/2020 09:06

No, but my Mum is part of our bubble. We haven't been in each others houses yet - I work in a school which I'm not comfortable with especially as cases in schools increasing this week here
We will make a decision with her 2/3 days before as I can find out if we've had any new cases immediately after breaking up.

Otherwise just the three of us. We've got five other families we'd normally see, hopefully some will drop presents off) collect in our doorstep and we'll do the rest between us. My elderly Uncle and Auntie are a bit too far, so posting their presents.

pinkdragons · 23/11/2020 09:10

Yes we will see my parents on Xmas day. They have had the virus already and want to take the risk of seeing us (they may change their mind, still a month to go).

And then have a front garden visit boxing day planned with In laws on boxing day. Not mixing in doors as they have a school age child in their house and we don't want 2 lots of school germs to potentially be exposed to or pass on.

Calmandmeasured1 · 23/11/2020 09:14

@Jenasaurus

Can you say which area of the SE, I live in the SE and genuinely interested, we were tier 1 before this lockdown but number were starting to climb, I am near Gatwick, keen to know if the higher cases are near me.
This shows you which areas have rising or falling rates:
www.covidmessenger.com/coronavirusliveupdate/

The following one is good too as you can enter your post code and restrict area to, say, within one mile of it, to find out the number of positive cases each day, for the week and the previous week. Also shows 111 triaged cases. It is a few days behind but very good:
digital.nhs.uk/dashboards/coronavirus-in-your-area

PurpleishDahlia · 23/11/2020 09:16

We're travelling to my in laws, if it's permitted at the time. We haven't seen them in a year. I'd rather not but family politics..