Has Covid-19 made you realise just how inherently selfish so many people are?

[Nicknamegoeshere]

It has me.
The world is a mess and most people only really care about themselves and their families.
Fed up to the back teeth of people trying to justify why they can't possibly do X, Y, and or Z.
Just be honest and say "Because I don't really care about passing this virus on, I'm not bothered about those more vulnerable than myself."

It's made me realise how rude people are - smiling and saying hello or thank you are not leading transmission factors but now when I'm out and about I generally just see scowls and stares from people when on dog walks etc.

It's also made me realise the disdain held for children in our society.

@starfish88

During lockdown there has been an increase in domestic violence and as many babies have died from that as under 18s of covid. I'm surprised that on a site like mumsnet people aren't more upset about that. (www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/education-54827702)

To be honest covid kills and lockdown kills I don't think it's selfish to try and save lives either way but to completely disregard one is too polarized.

It’s something I raised early on in lockdown in the circles I work with and volunteer with. There would be children who under normal circumstances may not be vulnerable to abuse but the stress of lockdown and the lack of visibility meant they could be very vulnerable.

For me the selfishness is nothing to do with lockdown. It’s the refusal to wear a mask (not those who are exempt), half wearing a mask, the insistence of not social distancing from strangers, wanting the pubs to be open regardless of the wider affects etc...

As a disabled person I already knew. I have to have a certain amount of selfishness myself to be able to survive. We all do. But then there’s the ignorant selfishness... look away and it’s not happening.

Part of looking away, however, is to protect our mental health. If the population were all constantly worried about starving children and abused animals, I think mental health would suffer a great deal more. And the same is true of covid.

Perhaps it would be fair to say most people are doing their best. It’s just not necessarily the best for society as a whole. We live in a fragmented society, where god is no longer the omnipresent being, having been replaced with instant gratification.

Why is it selfish to care about your own family over strangers? That's human nature.

People who don't wear masks to protect strangers are selfish. People who don't want to lose their jobs and homes to protect strangers are not selfish. There's only so much you can ask people to sacrifice.

@MoleSmokes

I think I get what you mean, Starfish.

That’s interesting SnuggyBuggy. I’m sure you’re right. I wonder how long that will persist or if we’ll just snapback to Normal Mode - or morph into a different way of being?

This is such a big thing the younger you are. For everyone up to mid-20’s this is such a different way of life and experience than the rest of us when we were that age.

I overheard two young women, one late-teens the other early twenties, talking about how Covid was “their generation” and they would all be different from other generations. I think the younger one said she was 18 and the older one 23 - it was a couple of weeks ago and I’ve a brain like a sieve!

The younger one was all excited about it but the older one didn’t comment.

The thing older people seem to forget is that your younger years are formative years. It may be "just a year" or "just 5 years" when you're older and settled and working and every year feels the same but when you lose your formative years they're gone and they're not coming back.

Personally I needed my time living hundreds of miles away from home at university to mature as a person and to be able to have the life I have now. Meeting different people from those I went to school with was crucial to my forming healthy relationships with other people. I don't see how spending those years living through a screen could replicate it.

I don't get the lack of sympathy for this age group.

Oh yes!!

I am one of the very, very vulnerable

I know that most people are being pretty sensible, but there have been a surprising number of people - who I really thought were better informed and who are usually very left-leaning and all about inclusion - who are totally ready to voice how they think that:

a) I’m dispensable - going to die anyway
b) I should just shut myself away if I’m worried
c) but shielding was optional, so people shouldn’t complain about i
d) but the shielded aren’t vulnerable enough to qualify for any future vaccine ahead of healthy 65yo

People don’t realise I’m vulnerable, just by looking, you see. They see the marathon runner. They don’t know that is what blood cancer can look like. I’m as vulnerable as it’s possible to be

And I have seen so much selfishness in action these last few months. And thought the worst of some people for it

But I’ve also seen the best, and that’s great

People are inherently selfish. Heck, all living things are inherently selfish. It's a biological imperative that you look out for #1 (and your progeny) above all others. Putting the interests of others ahead of your own is a luxury afforded to those who have more than they need.

Completely agree @SnuggyBuggy. Some people who can be the loudest to criticise others for not wearing a mask etc are oddly quiet when it comes to the reality that this situation is hitting some in ways that will have long term maybe lifelong effects socially, financially etc. And often the ones hit hardest in that way are benefiting least personally from the restrictions. My DS was supposed to start school in September. It's all online and will be for the foreseeable. He's got no friends. Not met a single one of his classmates. Seen his teacher twice in person for a few minutes. All sorts of things kids would usually get as part of school are gone. At 6, he has no real belief that the boring hours he spends in online school aren't representative of the real thing. It's crushing him, despite our best efforts.

Yes - the my family is more important attitude.

Honestly, quite the opposite. I work in Education (not a teacher) and have watched teachers do some amazing things and families really support their school communities. Our local neighbourhood came together to support each other. My brother's had mental health issues and was sectioned during the first lockdown. He's had very good care.

I have to say I haven’t seen this at all. In my town there was an amazing response to the pandemic. So many people giving time to other people. So many people responding to pleas for help. It really opened my eyes to how much everyone wants to kind. All those people sewing scrubs, taking food into hospitals and to vulnerable people. Groups of people out picking up litter.

I really recommend reading Human Kind by Rutger Bergman. It will readjust your views of humanity.

Also, smile more when you are out and about. Chat to people you see around. Sorry to sound a bit soppy but you really can ‘be the change’ in your area.

I will always put the needs of my extremely vulnerable child who will always be extremely vulnerable, first. I do this because if I don't no-one else ever will and large numbers of society have not and will not care about him.

@ChessIsASport

I have to say I haven’t seen this at all. In my town there was an amazing response to the pandemic. So many people giving time to other people. So many people responding to pleas for help. It really opened my eyes to how much everyone wants to kind. All those people sewing scrubs, taking food into hospitals and to vulnerable people. Groups of people out picking up litter.

I really recommend reading Human Kind by Rutger Bergman. It will readjust your views of humanity.

Also, smile more when you are out and about. Chat to people you see around. Sorry to sound a bit soppy but you really can ‘be the change’ in your area.

You're right, amongst all the twats are some wonderful people too. And the twats have always been there, they are just a bit more visible now. But so have the kind people. I was having a horrible morning feeling that this is insurmountable but there is kindness there too.

We have always protected ourselves and our families since the beginning of time. That is human nature. Millions of people including 3 million children die every year from starvation, poverty and disease around the world. Most do nothing to help them nor are they expected to.

Yes, nothing has changed. Some people are altruistic, even to their own detriment, others ‘do their duty’ and most do what’s best for themselves/immediate family.

Tbh no. I have been surprised, not pleasantly, to discover how many volunteer Stasi types live among us, though.

@BloomShine

We have always protected ourselves and our families since the beginning of time. That is human nature. Millions of people including 3 million children die every year from starvation, poverty and disease around the world. Most do nothing to help them nor are they expected to.

Exactly. There are so many people being sanctimonious about making sacrifices to protect the vulnerable when it comes to covid, but rather fewer kicking up a stink about the totally unethical lives that most of us in the country lead in terms of how our way of life affects the vulnerable in developing nations, or things we could do to alleviate horrendous suffering abroad but we don’t.

On covid alone, I agree with @Waxonwaxoff0. It is selfish to want to just carry on as normal, refuse to wear a mask, attend raves etc. Not selfish to want to see your mum or keep your job.

Just out of interest do the people who think non mask wearers are selfish assume that most of the people not wearing a mask are not truly mask exempt?

Although I do agree about people who wear a mask wrong. What is the point of having a nose popping out. But im assuming most of these people aren't people with exemptions who don't have to wear them at all.

Well, given global warming, large and small scale destruction of natural habitats, pollution, massive inequalities, ongoing wars around the world, the refugee crisis, etc, etc, I am astonished it takes a pandemic for you to realise. What did you think caused all the other stuff?!

Yes, so many people supporting closing businesses and schools and devastating other people's finances and jobs and education and health and futures because it doesn't affect their own comfortable lives or finances and decreases their chances of getting a virus slightly.

Its the blind ignorance of some who feel the need to justify loudly why they are exempt or special or in a "unique" circumstance that means its ok for them to bend the guidelines too suit them. No one is exempt or special or unique its shit for us all maybe just in different ways. Im sure we could all dig a little and find a reason or get out clause that suits us but if we all did that then where would we be?

Ps I know there will be exceptional safety or emergency reasons why guidelines may need to be broken at times im not referring to instances like that

Well, yes. I care about myself and my family. I have children, I need to feed them, I need to keep roof above our heads. We have suffered financially and every day I live with the fear of the situation worsening while facing a high risk of catching Covid too at work, but it’s the least of my worries.

@MercyBooth

Yes Ive noticed people using vulnerable people to emotionally blackmail others while not giving a fuck about them the rest of the time.

Definitely

@PerveenMistry

Yes. Selfish and stupid.

Yes, selfish, stupid and baselessly opinionated. The US election results identified about 70m of those alone.