The lack of empathy and humanity for other human beings exposed in this pandemic

[HumanFemale1]

I know I'm not the only one who noticed this but I just wanted to vent really and talk about.

A friend shared with me that they are terrified of venting about their mental health issues caused by the lockdown because every time they tried venting they were shamed and told they are selfish for caring about anything else than people dying (of covid)

Another friend called my thinking 'dangerous' when I said I think the govts approach should balance covid with all the negative aspects of lockdown such as job losses, isolation etc.

This idea that only covid matters and anyone who is negatively impacted by lockdown and restrictions just needs to suck it up is baffling.

I wanted to ask for your opinions on whether you think people in general lack empathy towards other and this pandemic just exposed it or is it something about this pandemic that brings this out in people?

I’ve seen lots of community spirit in the form of volunteers doing shopping, collecting medicines, giving free books and toys etc so lots of empathy for those who are vulnerable and/or shielding.

Sadly, also seen lots of behaviour from the opposite end where people simply aren’t complying with the rules and doing what they like. It’s exposed or maybe just magnified the selfish behaviour in some.

too many people looking for ways to carry on with their lives and using any loophole they can find to do that. thats when empathy is in short supply!

We don’t need another thread on this just to get people riled up. A quick search would quite frankly gives you hours of whatever it is you’re looking for... affirmation or an argument

Some people will agree with you. Some people will disagree with you. That’s the nature of a difficult choice and unprecedented world.

Personally I’d rather we all just agreed it’s pretty shit and make what we can of it, health and wealth. If you think you can do a better job than the scientists and govt then your talents are wasted on MN. If not, maybe it wasn’t the most constructive of threads to start?

I think the pandemic exposed that many people can only think about their own convenience and get put out when asked to help save the lives of others. A lack of empathy bordering on sociopathic.

I think people are stressed.
I think people are having vastly different experiences wrt financial security, leisure, experience of covid and loss.
And I think the uncertainty that swirls around this new disease makes it anxiety-inducing. The stakes are high in areas where the evidence is limited.
Many people are caught up in their own worries and it’s understandable some find it hard to imagine opposite situations. But there is also an awful lot of kindness, decency and self sacrifice in evidence.

I've certainly seen it in a lot of the language used around the vulnerable - those who were going to die anyway, those who are old and have lived their lives and matter less, those ECV who should just be locked away so everyone else can get back to normal.

To be fair op I really haven't come across anyone saying only covid matters, just stating the facts that in order to keep those other sectors of society going you need to contain covid, and because it is new and highly virulent that means containing it becomes priority, therefore people read that as thinking others are saying only covid matters. It's disingenuous thinking - the control of covid means other things get prioritised too, the non control of covid means worse knock on effects than with lockdown. Neither is good, both have horrible societal affects, but it's about the balance.

I would love to see more kindness and empathy about the whole thing.

I have also seen the best of humanity in helping others through this too. Our church runs a Foodbank and other community stuff and people have been incredibly generous and compassionate.

@ConiferGate

We don’t need another thread on this just to get people riled up. A quick search would quite frankly gives you hours of whatever it is you’re looking for... affirmation or an argument

Some people will agree with you. Some people will disagree with you. That’s the nature of a difficult choice and unprecedented world.

Personally I’d rather we all just agreed it’s pretty shit and make what we can of it, health and wealth. If you think you can do a better job than the scientists and govt then your talents are wasted on MN. If not, maybe it wasn’t the most constructive of threads to start?

It's an online site where everyone who has an account is free to post a thread on anything they wish, so I will do so, thanks.

Nice people are still nice.

Dicks are still dicks.

🤷🏻‍♀️

I think that the majority of people are moderate about the whole thing.
Understand that it is a shit situation so just do their best for themselves, their families and the people they care about.

The two extremes, the everybody's mental health is fucked, the future is never going to be the same, life is shit forever and the everybody needs to hide until gone are the ones who shout loudest.

This idea that only covid matters and anyone who is negatively impacted by lockdown and restrictions just needs to suck it up is baffling
This isn't a widely held belief. Just like this is all a pandemic so they can microchip us is not a widely held belief.

I am curious how many different people your terrified friend has tried opening up to? Everytime suggests lots and lots but that doesn't reflect my real world experience at all. Nor does it reflect the message the media are sending out(here in Ireland anyway) of look out for your mental health and that of others.

I agree with you OP. There seems to be a certain sector that think that preventing covid deaths is more important than *anything else.

It’s not.

I think there could be some people who suffer PTSD because of how it’s affected their mental health, for various reasons.

Absolutely agree. Am horrified at the selfishness of some who seem unwilling to think of others. Prime example- no one likes wearing masks but we do it to protect others! Some still object

LastTrainEast I meant to say I agreed with your statement

Well as your post is just another varient of the "let them die so I can live" theme, yes, I think you lack empathy.

I think people these days are unwilling to have a discussion with anyone who has a different view on things to them hence cancel culture.

It seems that it has made people more selfish. Plus a lot don’t like being told what to do judging by some of the threads on here.
In RL everything is ticking along in my neck of the woods and people seem to understand what’s required to get through this.

@Porcupineinwaiting

Well as your post is just another varient of the "let them die so I can live" theme, yes, I think you lack empathy.

I agree with Porcupine. Let people get covid and die so I can have my dream destination wedding with 500 guests. Let people get covid and die but don't close any businesses because I spent all my money and never saved any so I need a regular income. Let people get covid and die because then their jobs will be open for new graduates. Let people get covid and die because then there will be a lot of orphan children and it will be easier for me to adopt one. Let people get covid and die because a lot of older people will die and younger ones will get their inheritances early. "Living your best life" is NOT more important than people being able to "live" instead of die.

GeorgiaGirl52 I agree with all of that, but you forgot an important one, particularly for MN - "Let people get COVID and die so my children can go to school and get an education".

YY OP I think its going to take a long time for people to forget how they were treated. The mask exemption hatred for one. The use of the phrase Covid denier to silence people who have been critical of the Governments response to it, Dominic Cummings Ferguson Farrier et al. Its thrown up a side to society i dont much care for
I think the ramifications of things like this will last a long time after the pandemic itself is over.

Some people here are so over the top. It’s not lacking empathy to be concerned about the negative effects of our pandemic response. It’s the opposite. People who rigidly enforce the rules with no common sense and no human feeling are the ones lacking in empathy.

OP I don't agree. It's been heartwarming to belong to such a caring community where I live. There's been so many positives to behold.

The whole thing has confirmed what I have always thought people were like, it's no surprise.

My sole focus is my family and doing whatever it takes to ensure they keep a roof over their heads. They are the important ones, not a bunch of strangers who the majority of have treated me like a leper.

This whole "let people die so I can live my life is such bullshit."

The majority of people care more about their own family than strangers. Covid probably wouldn't affect me or my DS badly as we're young and healthy. Losing my job and not being able to keep my house or feed my child is a far more likely possibility and would probably be more devastating. So in proportion, yes I'm more worried about that than Covid.

The suggestion from some on here that you should put the lives of strangers above your own family at any cost is skewed. No onw thinks like that in real life and it is NOT selfish to worry about your family.

There are some who think that being vulnerable to covid is the only vulnerability that matters and that it doesn't matter how much distress other vulnerable people suffer and reasonable adjustment for those people shouldn't exist. Things like during the first lockdown being allowed in school or being allowed to travel to exercise and more recently mask related stuff. I think generally people who say these things have always been arseholes and are using covid as an excuse to have a go at groups they don't like.

A friend shared with me that they are terrified of venting about their mental health issues caused by the lockdown because every time they tried venting they were shamed and told they are selfish for caring about anything else than people dying (of covid)

Your friend might be better venting about their MH issues with an agency that specialises in MH issues where they will get the empathy they need, rather than venting to others who may not understand their POV and may have their own reasons for "only being concerned about Covid"
Your friend also doesn't sound very empathetic thinking that only their issues matter at the expense of everyone else's problems.

Another friend called my thinking 'dangerous' when I said I think the govts approach should balance covid with all the negative aspects of lockdown such as job losses, isolation etc.

Your friend is entitled to their opinion and a debate on mumsnet is not going to change their POV and has nothing to do with empathy so not sure WTF you're on about.

@TheCountessofFitzdotterel

I think people are stressed. I think people are having vastly different experiences wrt financial security, leisure, experience of covid and loss. And I think the uncertainty that swirls around this new disease makes it anxiety-inducing. The stakes are high in areas where the evidence is limited. Many people are caught up in their own worries and it’s understandable some find it hard to imagine opposite situations. But there is also an awful lot of kindness, decency and self sacrifice in evidence.

I agree with this completely.

I also think that MN responses have changed a lot over the months - really it was quite impossible back in March/April when I think the OP might have been true of this site, but the last few months have been different here, perhaps as we know more about COVID and its transmission, and negative impacts of lockdown have been reported rather than just warned, as well as the impacts of COVID itself. In RL things seem much more nuanced and sensible.