The lack of empathy and humanity for other human beings exposed in this pandemic

[HumanFemale1]

I know I'm not the only one who noticed this but I just wanted to vent really and talk about.

A friend shared with me that they are terrified of venting about their mental health issues caused by the lockdown because every time they tried venting they were shamed and told they are selfish for caring about anything else than people dying (of covid)

Another friend called my thinking 'dangerous' when I said I think the govts approach should balance covid with all the negative aspects of lockdown such as job losses, isolation etc.

This idea that only covid matters and anyone who is negatively impacted by lockdown and restrictions just needs to suck it up is baffling.

I wanted to ask for your opinions on whether you think people in general lack empathy towards other and this pandemic just exposed it or is it something about this pandemic that brings this out in people?

What I have noticed is fewer "I am loving lockdown/baking/JoeWickes and could continue like this forever"
Maybe the homeschooling and furlough money ended up not being quite the Hallmark perfect family thing a lot of people thought. Or they realised banging on about muffins when people couldn't feed their families was just offensive.

Well I do think you lack empathy, OP, but since mumsnet removed a couple of threads for some odd sock puppetry I've noticed fewer of you around.

In my area people are doing their best to support each other. So there are volunteers who will phone people with mental health issues, or just if you feel lonely. We feed our schoolchildren in the holidays. Mask deniers get short shift. Local charities have had cash donations and animal charities food donations to help them stay in business.

You could try developing some empathy.

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion

Well people are going to be more scared of the threat that could affect them. Corona could potentially kill anyone, no one knows, so obviously people will worry about that more than someone else's mental health, job etc. Unfortunately it's human nature to think of yourself before others. Its self preservation.

That doesn't excuse people coming on to a thread to tell people they're selfish for having personal problems. And the hyperbolic 'you want to kill everyone' meted out to anyone showing signs of distress

I've always thought people lack empathy, quite a few times in my life I've been shocked by it. I have a couple of disabilities (and now ill health) but even when younger I was very aware that many people simply don't bother to try to understand other's perspectives.

I think that viewing others as lacking empathy is unattractively judgemental and also a sign of lack of empathy in the observer.

Many people cannot mentally process an existential or amorphous threat. Instead of realizing that a natural event is causing social and economic problems, they blame the responses to that event.

So their business is hurt by lockdown and it’s the government/rich people who can work from home/hysterics doing it to them. It’s not the virus because they can’t blame a virus which has no motive and can’t be easily controlled.

Some businesses are just screwed when there’s an airborne virus flying around, sorry to say. The cinema industry is struggling because no one wants to sit in a room with strangers for two hours. That’s not lockdown’s fault.

Another friend called my thinking 'dangerous'

That is 1984 territory right there. Thinking cannot and should not be dangerous.

@LastTrainEast

I think the pandemic exposed that many people can only think about their own convenience and get put out when asked to help save the lives of others. A lack of empathy bordering on sociopathic.

I dont think losing your job is an "inconvenience". It is easy to understand why someone who has lost their job and doesn't know anyone who has died from covid (most people don't) would be angry about it.

Let people get covid and die because then there will be a lot of orphan children and it will be easier for me to adopt one.
I think someone may be exaggerating for effect here

@LastTrainEast

I think the pandemic exposed that many people can only think about their own convenience and get put out when asked to help save the lives of others. A lack of empathy bordering on sociopathic.

This pandemic has exposed an epidemic of sociopathy and narcissism in the UK. These same people will point to Sweden as a model to follow, when the sheer levels of outright disobedience are incomparable.

Covid allowed a lot of people to anoint themselves a hero for literally sitting on their arses.
They call other people selfish when they’ve done nothing much to help the sum of human kindness or endeavour beforehand.
The self importance is hilarious.

I wonder what they’ll do when the vaccine is rolled out and things gradually become less restricted. Will they go back to their sad little loves? Will they keep banging on about Covid to the bitter end? Will they turn their attention and vitriol on the obesity crisis?

I don't think it's so much that people lack empathy in general, but just about anyone has less to go around when they're severely stressed themselves, be it through fear of covid or of mental health problems, redundancy etc. And at the same time we're all demanding more empathy than usual of other people for the same reason. It's just a bad combination and it's no wonder it's bringing out the worst in many people.

I think you are spot on Psychomath.
People have said some really nasty things on here lately and then in their next post they say what they have been going through themselves and you think, ok no wonder you’re a bit low on sympathy...

Covid allowed a lot of people to anoint themselves a hero for literally sitting on their arses.
Indeed, and not a thought to those who were not financially or emotionally stable enough to be so "heroic"

For those worried about mental health - 1 in 5 Americans with covid were subsequently diagnosed with psychiatric illness. www.thelancet.com/journals/lanpsy/article/PIIS2215-0366(20)30462-4/fulltext

Covid gets into every organ in the body, including the brain.

@KitKatastrophe

Covid allowed a lot of people to anoint themselves a hero for literally sitting on their arses. Indeed, and not a thought to those who were not financially or emotionally stable enough to be so "heroic"

It all depends on the individual. Yes, it's easier to follow the guidance to stay at home if you're WFH or retired. Since things opened back up over the summer though the public haven't been asked or expected to stay at home. Just to follow the rules.

There's exceptional circumstances for why many people can't follow the rules. 'I can't be bothered' or 'the rules don't apply to me' and general arrogance and selfishness is what gets the backs up of people who have made many sacrifices since March. Anyone going to raves or huge parties, for example, is just a huge prick. That's nothing to do with privilege.

I have posted on another thread about me and my sisters mixing households due to having to clear out my parents home. Both parents died this year (mum in March, dad last Sunday), but I have still been called "selfish", "thick" and other things for breaking lock down rules. So whilst there may be empathy and humanity for others, that apparently stops once you are bereaved, follow the rules and fuck your mental health is the message I'm getting.

@psychomath

I don't think it's so much that people lack empathy in general, but just about anyone has less to go around when they're severely stressed themselves, be it through fear of covid or of mental health problems, redundancy etc. And at the same time we're all demanding more empathy than usual of other people for the same reason. It's just a bad combination and it's no wonder it's bringing out the worst in many people.

This is very well-expressed. And I do think that it is exacerbated by the lack of contact with others in RL. We used to have many more RL interactions of varying types and some of that may have helped to cheer us up or even express and alleviate frustration in a more measured way than is facilitated by remote and online interactions

I have posted on another thread about me and my sisters mixing households due to having to clear out my parents home. Both parents died this year (mum in March, dad last Sunday), but I have still been called "selfish", "thick" and other things for breaking lock down rules. So whilst there may be empathy and humanity for others, that apparently stops once you are bereaved, follow the rules and fuck your mental health is the message I'm getting.

I'm so sorry for your losses.

My Dad did in July and in his last weeks I visited him most days and we mixed households when we weren't meant to. I actually don't give a shit what people think.

@trappedsincesundaymorn

I have posted on another thread about me and my sisters mixing households due to having to clear out my parents home. Both parents died this year (mum in March, dad last Sunday), but I have still been called "selfish", "thick" and other things for breaking lock down rules. So whilst there may be empathy and humanity for others, that apparently stops once you are bereaved, follow the rules and fuck your mental health is the message I'm getting.

I’m so sorry for your losses Trappedsincesundaymorn x

Your friend might be better venting about their MH issues with an agency that specialises in MH issues

Do people think these 'agencies' exist? The Samaritans can't be there for everyone experiencing poor mental health, and there's sod all help from the NHS.

Also, would you say the same to someone going through cancer treatment or any physical condition? My neighbour has cancer, despite my own shit going on I will stand and listen to her for as long as she needs, because that's what we do for each other, isn't it? Maybe I should pop a note through and ask her not to bother me again, I suggest she contacts an agency that specialises in cancer.

What a crappy attitude to have.

Until we have a grip on Covid other health services are bound to suffer, unfortunately.

@LastGoldenDaysOfSummer

Until we have a grip on Covid other health services are bound to suffer, unfortunately.

Well I suppose that’s more pleasant than the “you should be grateful you’re not giving birth in a tent in a refugee camp” response that many pregnant women were getting on here back in March/April when they expressed worries about how services were being restricted. Shows how things have mellowed a bit on here perhaps.

I think some people posting here are displaying a distinct lack of empathy by belittling anyone who does not share their view.

It's not selfish to worry about the health impacts of Covid on you and your loved ones.

It's also not selfish to worry about the economic impact of the lockdown on you and your loved ones.

It's also not selfish to worry about the mental impact of low social interaction and support on you and your loved ones.

Anyone arguing in favour of the various aspects of the Covid restrictions by dismissing other opinions (labelling them as simply being about convenience or lack of discipline or selfishness) is displaying the same lack of empathy they are accusing others of.

Anyone arguing in favour of removing Covid restriction by dismissing other opinions (labelling them as blinkered, just wanting to sit on their arses etc) is also displaying a lack of empathy.

It's a pandemic. All choices are hard and all have harsh impacts on someone. It doesn't hurt to recognise that.

@alreadytaken

For those worried about mental health - 1 in 5 Americans with covid were subsequently diagnosed with psychiatric illness. www.thelancet.com/journals/lanpsy/article/PIIS2215-0366(20)30462-4/fulltext

Covid gets into every organ in the body, including the brain.

Survivors of COVID-19 appear to be at increased risk of psychiatric sequelae, and a psychiatric diagnosis might be an independent risk factor for COVID-19. Although preliminary, our findings have implications for clinical services, and prospective cohort studies are warranted.

MH issues are currently viewed as a seperate entity from the covid 19 disease. I'm quite interested to see the results from the cohort studies.

I'm trying to be empathetic to everyone. No one person's needs trumps that of another. Society has rules implemented to protect the deaths of many. So where I can be sympathetic to a man who flouts rules to have a cuppa with his mate, I can see how it could empower many to flout rules in the same way. I've observed how one person's want for her kid's party enabled many to consider breaking the rules to attend. It's better to try and fix the current MH healthcare shambles alongside the covid crisis. because there is no doubt that people are suffering.