I've questioned the same thing with the various mental health professionals we've engaged with over the years re her unhealthy dependance on her boyfriend. She's just been discharged from her latest one as she refuses to engage with over the phone counselling. Her anxiety prevents her from speaking on the phone. I've also grilled social workers and GPs on the same subject and my own counsellor and none of them can give me any clear answers as to how to deal with her dependance on her boyfriend/the health of the relationship. I do strongly encourage other friends and personal interests and hobbies but sadly, for the most part, I am fighting a loosing battle.
She is back to point blank refusing all help, and even when she was a child (she's now 18) she had to actively want the help and the second she refused to engage all services withdrew, even when I begged them to stay for the sake of my own sanity and my youngest childs.
Trust me when I say I've tried everything including attempting to section her (she wasn't ill enough as she was only talking about sucuide and not actively attempting it. She told the paramedic she had no immediate plans to end her life) and every time I get told unless she wants help all I can do is wait until she is ill enough to be sectioned.
Her boyfriend leaving her is my worst nightmare. I have no idea how I will cope other than to very, very closely supervise her.
We've been to CAHMS, MIND, Haven, private counselling, online counselling, hospital school and tried sertraline and citlaropram (the citlaropram she said made her numb so she stopped taking it. The sertraline she refused to take in case it made her feel numb). We've tried healthy eating, mindfulness and exercise. I am literally out of options because she won't engage in anything, although I am having a small amount of sucess with at home exercise DVDs which seem to have a positive influence on her mood.