When DS1 'failed' secondary transition and was left without any education until tribunal hearing 8 months later I could not square this with the narrative of the time that 'every child matters' or the policy of fining parents for non attendance. Huge cognitive dissonance.
Ironically it really helped to read posts from teachers who recognised how utterly crap this situation was but had been 'forced' to comply with an unfair system. Before reading these posts I could only explain my day to day dealings with school staff delivering LA messages and enforcing LA policies by assuming they must be absolute psychopathic bastards.
I can't help but think 'where were you when ...' when parents who turned a blind eye to those in need (whether SEN or deprivation) prior to a pandemic are now up in arms.
In 'normal' times and for 'normal' kids schools are a fantastic resource that provide education, structure, social skills, food and childcare. I had to realise that my kids don't fit that definition and step up. These times do not meet that definition.
Schools are not set up to meet need for extraordinary kids or meet needs in general in extraordinary times. That requires funding.
You can rail against it as much as you want but it won't change things right now when time is crucial.
But I do think that teachers need to respect parents and stop lying to them and pretending that everything is fine. Telling the truth is not being negative. Until teachers respect parents they cannot expect parents to respect them.