Having my son’s friends over during half term?

[QueenofmyPrinces]

It’s half term here and tomorrow I have invited over one of son’s best friends who is in his class at school.

My mum was pretty outraged when o mentioned it as apparently I shouldn’t be having other children in my home.

I explained that they spend all day together at school so what difference does it make whether they’re together in school or in our home?!

She wasn’t convinced though.

I am right though aren’t I?

It’s fine for him to have a friend over isn’t it?

We don’t live in an area of heightened restrictions.

• you are taking an unnecessary risk. and that affects other people than just you. they should be socially distanced. why can't you take them out in the park for a run around, footy.that would be much safer. i would not have anyone in the house.*

Can’t go to the park as it’s poured it down for the last two days and is due to rain again tomorrow

They aren’t socially distanced at school, not by any stretch of the imagination.

It's not allowed unless they distance and you've said they won't. However what is allowed and what people actually do is another matter.

As I understand it the major area of concern for transmission is in the home because they are not Covid safe environments and because people don't follow the rules.

You will not be following the rules.

Can you do it? Who is going to stop you?

I wouldn't personally. Outside in the fresh air would be better.

It's not allowed unless they distance and you've said they won't. However what is allowed and what people actually do is another matter.

But they don’t socially distance in school - so what’s the difference?

Yes he will be playing with my sons toys, but he would still be doing that even if he was socially distanced.

This is why I hate the rules.
My son is so desperate to have his friend over and I’m going to hate having to tell him that he can’t come

OP please don't cancel. Like you say they don't distance at school. You could be in another tier soon and then he won't be able to meet anyone at all. I'd invite him round and let them just be kids

Don’t cancel. You make decisions based on your own risk assessment. I tier 1 you are allowed up to 6 in your house.

They are together all day at school. We don’t need to stop all social interactions. Especially for children. They need to see and play with their friends. They spend all day together in a classroom.

Bubbles at school, social distancing and the tier system are all about minimising risk. The rules are set to make it easy for us to understand how to minimise risk.

The more people exposed to other people the higher the risk because the greater chance of coming into contact with someone who has Covid.

So the rule is that you do not invite others into your home without social distancing (tier 1). Otherwise the risk (however minimal) is increased.

Your mum is correct. However you may decide that you want to take that risk for the sake of DC. That is your choice and only you know what you 'should' do.

That's why the whole system isn't really working at the moment - because we apply our interpretation to the rules. Because we see our need or situation as more important or relevant than the general one. It's why we're going to be stuck in this semi lockdown hell for forever it seems.

And Mumsnet is slightly weird with this. In real life tier 1. Well in my town anyway we are still doing play dates with children in the same class (sticking to rules on numbers). And the mum comes round and has a glass of wine too. Shock horror. I’m doing it while we can.

Social distancing is a (wise) guideline, rule of six is law. So you are allowed to in tier 1, and personally I wouldn’t bother attempting social distancing with a young child meeting another child in their bubble.

The way I see it is that things are going to get a hell of a lot worse and this may be the last chance he can have a friend over.

Pre-lockdown he used to to have a friend over every week, but since lock down he has only had a friend over once and he really misses it.

The boy who is planned to come over tomorrow is his best friend and although I genuinely don’t want to take any big risks, I just want them to have some of their old normality back where they could just play together and have fun.

I feel so sorry for all the young children who’ve had to miss out on just being children.

While schools are open with no social distancing (or PPE or ventilation or adequate handwashing facilities) then it's just silly and pointless to keep them apart outside of school. If your child is going to get it, he/she's overwhelmingly more likely to get it at school in a room of 30+ children than on a playdate with one other child.

@Hopeisathingwithfeathers

While schools are open with no social distancing (or PPE or ventilation or adequate handwashing facilities) then it's just silly and pointless to keep them apart outside of school. If your child is going to get it, he/she's overwhelmingly more likely to get it at school in a room of 30+ children than on a playdate with one other child.

Surely it is not about likelyhood of catching it in school but about the increased likelihood of spreading it by exposing each other to additional sources of potential infection.

From an individual perspective it is about assessing risk. From the government perspective it is about adhering to the rules to minimise the length of time we stay in this half living existence.

You wouldn’t normally spend time with him inside so that’s where the difference is. If he had it then he may or may not pass it to your son. He may or may not pass it to you. You and your son could differ in how likely you are to catch it.

That aside, it depends where you live. In Wales, this hasn’t been allowed since March unless in an extended household but not from Friday again now.

It's not additional sources though, it's the same source. The OP's child is in school with the visiting child. How's it different spending a few hours with that child not social distancing at home than spending several hours every single day not social distancing with them and dozens of others? If any of the people involved in the playdate have the virus, they'll all be getting it anyway one way or another.

I can see lots of information about not breaking the rule of 6, but as there won’t be 6 of us I can’t see what harm it will cause or what law/guideline I would be breaking?

I haven’t seen anything that states we shouldn’t have people in our houses unless it’s necessary?

It's allowed.
Do it, especially while you can. Additional risk is all relative. Hope your boy enjoys the playdate.

It is only allowed if there is social distancing OP has ( understandably) said that there won't be

www.gov.uk/guidance/local-covid-alert-level-medium

It is only allowed if there is social distancing. OP has ( understandably) said that there won't be

But they don’t socially distance at school?

My ds is having his friend over for the day tomorrow, we're in tier 1. It's allowed.

@QueenofmyPrinces

It is only allowed if there is social distancing. OP has ( understandably) said that there won't be

But they don’t socially distance at school?

But they not meeting at school. They are meeting in a private home. So this is an additional environment, an additional opportunity to share the virus picked up from some third party source.

It is not about their 'chance' of catching the virus but the overall risk to society by adding an additional environment where the virus might be shared. I don't say I agree but that is what the rules are there for. To minimise interactions.

Ultimately it is up to you but you asked if your mum was correct. She is, given the parameters you have provided.

My dd is secondary and having her mate over next week. We’re also tier 1. Now js the time as we’ll be tier 2 soon I’m sure ! I’ll prob antibac bathroom afterwards, but they’re in school not social distancing there so why on earth here . I’ll SD from her of course and may do a bit of airing !

@unicornparty

My ds is having his friend over for the day tomorrow, we're in tier 1. It's allowed.

If they won't be socially distanced then it isn't. But who will know?

Your mum is right, it’s a risk and you can only do it if SD is in place.

Guests are allowed in tier one as long as you don’t have more than six on the premises but there has to be SD in place. Being in a school bubble doesn’t change the rules, that bubble is just for PHE to tract contacts within the school setting.

I’ve said no to sleepovers, that’s where my line is drawn at the mo.

Also mine is an only. I’m not isolating her from her mates again. Not a chance.