Will your partner help if you are ill?

[randomer]

I don't think mine would exactly come into his own tbh.

I’m single mow but no, my ex (children’s father) never did. I was bedridden with flu and was never even brought a drink.

What do you mean by help? Housework, with kids or help you personally if you are ill e.g toilet etc

Yes and even if I'm just really tired.
I've had a manic couple of weeks at work and an intense course the last 2 days (which DH took time off of work to do the school run so I could attend). When I got home absolutely shattered he sent me upstairs for a nap and called me when dinner was ready. If I'm I'll he'll do everything needed in the house, and it works both ways.

Of course he will. I picked well.

Of course. Didn’t marry a lazy dickhead!

Of course. Mind you, I get waited on even when I'm well. Why settle for less?

Definitely, but he's a good egg who does his share anyway.

He has no choice because although I am rarely ill, when I am ill I take to my bed in a melodramatic fashion. Notable events have included putting the baby in the cot and leaving a step stool by my bed for the toddler to climb in when she was ready to go to sleep while I passed out with a headache I don't do soldiering on!

I used to think he wouldn't but I was diagnose with a blood clot on my thigh a month ago and he's been brilliant. At the start I couldn't even walk so he cooked me meals, brought me drinks and helped me to the toilet and even bathed me! He's been brilliant.

Absolutely! As I would for him.

Yes. We are a team. He is a kind man generally, so he would never see me struggle. He actively encourages me and facilitates me taking time out when I am getting frazzled. And I do the same for him.

Yep. Had a bit of the old black dog nipping for the past week or so and no mojo to do anything. DH has cooked me dinner, cleaned, got me out of the house for a bit of exercise. He's top.

He would just continue as he does normally, by noticing what needs doing and getting on with it. It's not "help" though it's just being a grown up with responsibilities.

I am chronically ill & frequently bedbound & paralysed. He has to do almost everything for me when I am, except for spoonfeed me & wipe my backside. He is a superstar. He has his own health issues too & walks with a stick. He is also inclined to be a bit lazy occasionally, but TBH he gets a pass with that, in the circumstances.

I'm more afraid of him getting ill, with this or something else, & my not being able to care for him.

He wouldn't ‘help out‘, because he is an equal adult in our home, not a teenage child or lodger.

He would take over the children completely, already does all the cooking, already brings me drinks and he would keep the downstairs, including the kitchen, clean. He would carry me to the toilet if needed.

He probably wouldn't check on me quite enough, and he never thinks to pick up my specific chores if im ill for a few days. The toilet goes down hill fast when I’m ill.

Lone parent now, but my ex wouldn't have, no. He was abusive and thankfully not in my life anymore.

Totally! We don't live together, but he would come over, make flasks of coffee, heat up soup, make me toast - he is no chef! - take DD out for a while, do shopping, change the bed clothes, put on and then hang up a load of washing. I know because he did when I had proper flu last year! Would he clean the windows, dust, hoover? No! But he would do what needed done for me to rest

Yes, I don't have to be ill or tired though. He does more than his fair share.

Of course. As I would for him. That said, last year when he had proper flu I had to phone a grown up to ask exactly what I should be doing. (I am mid-40s.)

'help'? Thankfully my standards are higher than this

Of course ! Even now at 38 weeks pregnant he's still fussing and won't let me lift a finger 🥰

I imagine it would be like "Mr Large in Charge" but he'd crack on and do his best (like a lot of blokes he's perfectly competent but a bit lazy). I have a fear of us both being ill, honestly not sure how we'd cope with the chronic exhaustion, but one of us and we'd be fine.

Yes he's been picking up my slack since I've been struggling so much mentally with the isolation. He's also allowed me to grab any chance for social contact I can while he sorts kids out, since he knows I need it so much.

I thought about this recently too.

I think DH would look after me, but he would just do it ever so slightly grudgingly saying things like "are you not feeling any better yet?" and check that I'd taken tablets etc in a way that suggested he was keen for me to hurry up and get better .He'd also make a point of telling me all the chores he'd done: "don't worry I managed to do a load of laundry this morning".

If I ever have a cold/flu and he needs to look after me the minute I am up and about again he will suddenly come down with some (invisible/symptomless!) ailment of his own which means that he has to take to the sofa...

Well he'd look after his own kids and take care of his own house - I don't consider that 'helping' though. He would also look after me just like I'd look after him - because we love each other.