Will your partner help if you are ill?

[randomer]

I don't think mine would exactly come into his own tbh.

Yes I suppose so, would he do it as good or efficiently as me probably not but then again do they ever? Would we all still be alive fed and watered ? Yes

Of course he would. Mind you, I've steered him through blood cancer, so he owes me! ( Not really, that's not how love works)

Of course, I wouldn't be with him otherwise! (he's actually much more patient than me, I'm rubbish at being ill )

My DH doesn't 'help out', just like he doesn't 'babysit' the kids.
He does his fair share of chores.
If I was ill/when I have been ill he takes over completely and vice versa I'd do his share if he was ever ill

Yes. I've been with him for decades and have chronic illnesses. He always cares for me when he needs to. Which is much more often than I would like. He is incredibly selfless

Mine wouldn't really be able to tbh, since COVID has left him quite badly disabled (hopefully temporarily, but it's not looking great atm). However he would absolutely do anything he possibly could. He couldn't walk more than 20 paces at one point but used his limited energy to walk to the rosebush to pick me a flower because I was having a shit day (mildly shit in the grand scheme of things!). He can't do much at all, but still asks me 'do you need anything?' practically on the hour. My back has been hurting a bit so he was insistent that he would pay for me to get a massage since he couldn't give me one himself. If circumstances were different with his health he would pick up the slack and more without missing a beat (and has done!). He's such a good egg. My exH would have left it all to go to shit, and would have done the bare minimum at direct request and resentfully!

@Callcat I hope he makes a full recovery

Yes.

My partner brings me tea in bed every morning. He cleans the house while I’m at work (not to my standard and I often have to go over things again- but it’s the thought and effort that counts) He’s still furloughed at the moment and says it is his responsibility to ensure the housework is done.

I still won’t let him cook though and probably wouldn’t even if I was bedridden- that’s what takeaways are for! 😂

Nope.
The day after a laparoscopic procedure I made my own cup of tea and hung the washing out.
The day after I came home from hospital after an abdominal operation I had to cook DD tea & do the dishes. It was a couple of years ago and I’m still sad/bitter that I wasn’t pampered and cared for. It was so strange as DH is normally so kind and attentive but it was as if he just couldn’t accept I was actually ‘ill’

Of course, we are a team!

Mine cared for me for weeks, plus ran the household, when I was sick in March. Really sorry for anyone who wouldnt be similarly supported, I dont think I could forgive that.

In the past when I've had sickness bugs, colds, flu, DH's main concerns are food in the house,tea and washing up., And childcare when at home.

However, I've had pneumonia twice, the first time he thought I was over reacting until it was confirmed, he felt so guilty.

if anyone gets Covid, it ends up turning into something more than flu like symptoms, then they won't have a choice unless they really don't care about their family.

Yes 100%.

Some very smug people here. Just for your information, I am not with a complete waste of space. The support I had when I had PND was amazing.

I don't feel care ie plumping up pillows, cooking small portions of tempting food, anticipating needs, keeping calm are necessary his strengths.

There's nothing smug about saying "yes, he would". Just a happy fact.

Nobody is being smug. It’s shocking anyone would be with a “partner” that has to ask this question

My husband is doing his best, just as I do when he is sick.

What do you mean by help then?

My DH would be competently able to care for the children (3y & 6mo), shopping, cooking, cleaning etc alone if I was really ill. He'd probably feel a bit frazzled but I probably would too.

Experience suggests he's not too great at tea and sympathy though but he'd probably leave me in peace.

Poster asks question, gets annoyed with honest answers and calls them smug.

I love Mumsnet

DH would keep the house running, feed DD (or she'd feed herself and possibly him), do the school run etc. He would probably intend to look after me - but that has tended to be bringing a cup of tea at absolute sparrowfart early in the morning before I'm awake and then closing the door on me for the day. Cos he puts his head down in work for 14 hours.

Once his head is up, he will check on me, have I got meds, do I need anything?

But otherwise, at least it is quiet and I can get on with making some tea and crawling back to bed to sleep.

Thanks shitfuckoh

Actually, I do feel smug 😆 Not in a shove it in your face way, but in a 'I put up with sub par for years and it's so refreshing to be in a relationship with a real man / proper partner' kind of way. Even though it may have only been for a limited time depending on how the future will play out for his recovery. You did ask op!

@JorisBonson 😂😂

I thought the same!

Course he would. Even when I'm fine he does his share and more. When I was very ill (long time ago now) he looked after the kids, looked after the house, looked after me, its what we do for each other.