If you are upset/frustrated about restrictions, why? anyone else not bothered or become numb to it?

[grette]

I get some restrictions are a bit rubbish. Can’t travel, limited numbers to places etc.

But people saying they can’t cops? They’re upset? I don’t get it and starting to worry maybe I’ve become numb to life?

I suspect it’s because I haven’t really felt the impact of say, not seeing an elderly relative for example (none in close family anymore).

But aside from that, I’ve enjoyed working from home, the quieter roads and traffic, the limited drinking hours and even the restrictions on big groups when at dinner! I say this as an employee of the corporate world and who spent lots of time in bars and restaurants and socialising...and I enjoyed it very much but I don’t yearn for it back. Maybe I’ve forgotten what it was like? I read posts saying people are at breaking point and it just seems like a quieter way of life with small inconveniences? Am I some numb shell of who I was and have forgotten life pre covid?!

I've got 2 kids.
The 3 year old asks to go to her grandmas house everyday and doesnt understand why she cant.
When not at work i have to try and keep her busy and not breaking the house.
She hasn't started nursery yet and is crying out for social interaction.
It's hard work especially if theybdont understand why. When the weather is bad and we find it difficult to get out her mood is much worse.
The 6 year old, I feel is struggling in school. At any moment I can be told she needs to self isolate for 2 weeks and miss another 2 weeks of school. She just returned to school today.
We've stopped her extracurricular activities because we dont need more people contacting us to tell us she needs to self isolate again.
Any where we go e.g. soft play. Indoor activities we have our name and number taken.
Even going to the library there is a risk of being told to stay at home for 2 weeks and miss another 2 weeks of school.
My work has changed completely because of the covid situation.

We are lucky we aren't struggling financially. But that's another thing that has affected a lot of people. Luckily we are coping. And hopefully the 3 year old will start nursery next year.
I have an elderly mum who we are worried about and it continues

I'm fed up of some of the unrealistic ones.

dance group for toddlers- went today and was told they must stay within their spot. It was very challenging to keep a 19 month old confined to one spot. I just ended up a Sweaty stressed mess. Was told I had to keep putting my mask back on when leaving the spot so I was just walked around after my toddler trying to bring him back to the spot.

I'm saying I find it harder to be upset, and to listen to people be upset about small things, when I've gained the perspective I have.

I just think this misses how people work. Sometimes people get upset about the small things because that's what feels safe to get upset about. Or it's a death by a thousand cuts and it's the small thing that topples them over.

Small disappointments are still disappointments and not everyone is affected in the same way by the same thing.

You may have been in full lockdown in a different country for three months but that doesn't mean other people can't be upset by things that happen to them.

I think a lot of people are exhausted now and that's what's adding to it.
It's the little things that get you through and when they go the little things can feel massive.

@FourTeaFallOut these are people's jobs you are so blithely dismissing. And its not just high brow arty stuff, its all live events with staff and contractors in a huge variety of roles.

But I guess that's MN for you, mosty very out of touch.

My hospital clinic closed initially as staff were reallocated (I assume). So I, & a lot of people with similar conditions, didn't get their regular treatment. I was largely bedbound for a few months over the summer. The treatment is cumulative. The clinic is now open again & I've had one session, but because of the earlier missed treatment, it will probably take about six months to get back to where I was. (Which was, just barely coping with daily life, TBH. I'm in a lot of pain much of the time.) Because I'm "under the X clinic", my GP won't prescribe me any pain relief. It all has to be done via the X consultant. I've been told by the X clinic nurse that next time I have a bad episode, DH is to ring for an ambulance. I usually get an least two a month, & am probably due one in about a couple of days (it ties in with my monthly cycle). I can't even shower on my own at present as I keep fainting/falling & I've had to order a shower stool, & DH has to cut my food up as I can't use my left hand properly. And I'm losing patches of vision in my left eye. And my memory is getting worse. (I'm not even 40.) It's been much worse this year & I don't know if it's due to the missed treatment.

High brow, pop culture and the loss of all jobs - in all industries - is a huge economic problem. I didn't say otherwise. I just don't think the loss of those jobs in particular is any worse than the others.

That sounds awful rock

I'm really upset that I haven't properly spent time with my ageing parents in recent months. I'm acutely aware of the fact that they may not have long left, and that we won't get this time back.

However, this isn't because of the restrictions (we aren't in a local lockdown area), this is because we and they are being careful and trying to minimise the risk. They are both very vulnerable, and none of us would be able to relax and enjoy a visit right now.

Massive financial worries - and every further restriction means less jobs. Have lost 3 babies this / last year and in lockdown DS having no one to play with broke my heart, don't think I could go through that again. Nothing to take my mind off how awful things are. It's the same storm but we are 100% not all in the same boat.

@Snoringferret

I'm saying I find it harder to be upset, and to listen to people be upset about small things, when I've gained the perspective I have.

I just think this misses how people work. Sometimes people get upset about the small things because that's what feels safe to get upset about. Or it's a death by a thousand cuts and it's the small thing that topples them over.

Small disappointments are still disappointments and not everyone is affected in the same way by the same thing.

You may have been in full lockdown in a different country for three months but that doesn't mean other people can't be upset by things that happen to them.

I think a lot of people are exhausted now and that's what's adding to it.
It's the little things that get you through and when they go the little things can feel massive.

^this a thousand times over. Death by a thousand cuts.

I am finding things rather annoying eg went to library yesterday and returned books. They quarantine the books for 72 hours WTAF..... so I couldn't take more out!

Stupid given that research suggests almost impossible to get from most surfaces!

So over the top

It depends on personal circumstances , I have friends like you who are mildly inconvenienced, that’s all

Whereas:

• I have not seen my parents, who live on the continent and are in their 80s since last December. I may not see them for a long time

• we can’t meet up with BIL/Sil and nephews as group exceeds 6. The kids are missing out . Our holidays are normally family based. That’s all off.

• am worried about DC sitting GCSE and A level this year, I don’t go out for dinner etc. as I do not want to be the cause for us as a family having to isolate over and over through test-and-trace. I feel very worried and stressed about the whole thing, it was so badly handled last summer.

• my oldest son’s sports events are not on meaning he can’t compete in U18, and never will now

• my youngest son’s favourite activity, army cadets, has not been on for half a year

-DS’s 18th birthday party was not much of a party

• can’t visit universities (so we need to choose one based on online info only, I don’t know any uni’s here as am from abroad so can’t help DS much in deciding)

We are ok, a lot of the above is small stuff, but I feel sad the kids are missing out on education, exams , activities that matter to them, competitions and not being able to see family or go back to my home country (I can’t do the quarantine as it would mess up work)

If I did not have teenagers and elderly parents, it would all be fine I guess

I've become used to it. We're in a local lockdown in North Wales. I appreciate I live in a rural area, which may make a difference. This weekend we're planning on doing some leaf art activities with the kids, and den building in our local woods. Last weekend we did films, board games, gardening and a long walk on the Sunday.

Children are at school, and DH and I are still going out to work, which might make it easier for us.

@Snoringferret

I'm saying I find it harder to be upset, and to listen to people be upset about small things, when I've gained the perspective I have.

I just think this misses how people work. Sometimes people get upset about the small things because that's what feels safe to get upset about. Or it's a death by a thousand cuts and it's the small thing that topples them over.

Small disappointments are still disappointments and not everyone is affected in the same way by the same thing.

You may have been in full lockdown in a different country for three months but that doesn't mean other people can't be upset by things that happen to them.

I think a lot of people are exhausted now and that's what's adding to it.
It's the little things that get you through and when they go the little things can feel massive.

Christ on a bike, I'm not talking about 'people', I'm talking about ME.

OP was asking: if you're not having a hard time, why not?

This is my answer: because I have the perspective I have.

You can "Yeah but some people" all you like –as I said in my initial post, if people are genuinely up against something meaningful, I have all the time in the world for them.

But I will not crack out the violins for people who are on the competitive suffering bus, or who are groaning and swooning about not being able to do whatever they want whenever they want.

You are more than welcome to do so –I'm sure they'll be thrilled. I don't have the time.

P. S. Our children are 3 and 7, I can appreciate it might be very different if we had teenagers.

Snoringferret, I think you are the one who is missing the point. Everyone is different, some say out loud they are struggling. Some say they are ok. That doesnt mean they are enjoying this. If you want people to understand the way you are, you also need to understand people cope differently, and they express it different way. You are the only one on this thread having a go at other people's opinions.

pp was right about the extrovert/introvert difference. I think, apart from work situations, the socialising aspect has taken the pressure off introverts and been harder on extroverts. Extroverts are also louder and so are making more noise about how hard they are finding things.

I think some of the very virulent posters criticising the local lockdowns and 10pm pub closing times etc are actually freelance marketing/PR people who are being paid to post. There is one who I am sure is as I suspect I know her in real life and her husband works in the alcohol business.

There is no shame in being an introvert who is not affected by the restrictions on socialising. I have learnt not to express that opinion on MN though because it is very tough at the moment on those whose livelihoods are in jeopardy and it is worth being tactful to those suffering financially. Nevertheless, many sectors are affected, some that get no publicity (lobbying) whatsoever, and I think it is OK that I get pissed off when noisy hospitality sector posters assume that because I don't work in hospitality, aviation, entertainment that my income has not been affected or that it has not been affected as much as theirs - not true, but I am more accepting of the fact people don't want to put their health at risk to support my business.

OP was asking: if you're not having a hard time, why not?

That's not what the OP said, she was asking if you WERE having a hard time, why?

This is a totally different thing.

People were answering the question of why they were having a hard time not on a 'competitive suffering bus'.

@Limona

Isn’t your hospital allowing birth partners at all, Piccadilly? I know it’s different for different areas but I wasn’t aware of any who weren’t letting anyone in.

The hospital is only allowing partners when in active labour (which is obviously better than no partners at all) but it's a first baby and I have no idea how long I might be in "inactive" labour. I've had a couple of bad hospital experiences which maybe mean I've got more fear about being on my own than average. There's also no post birth visiting allowed at all, which again terrifies me.

I struggle when my dog walker takes my dog out with his friends, realising that my dog has no legal barrier to socialising, whereas my teenagers do.

Also currently paying £100 per week for my teenager to access a psychologist to help with her anxiety, which has increased hugely since March. Because if course she would wait years for the same treatment on the NHS.

Being told we must prevent the NHS from being overwhelmed, when the mental health services already is, but all that seems to matter is physical health.

Some say they are ok. That doesnt mean they are enjoying this.

I really don't understand this statement. Why would you go out of your way to say that you're ok on a anonymous forum in a thread asking why people are struggling if you secretly weren't ok?

Plus the impact on the NHS is currently at the bottom of some posters priorities. They clapped every Thursday but don't care if those some traumatised ICU doctors and nurses have to go through it all again this winter. They call these key workers smug because their income has not been affect like theirs has. But what some doctors and nurses went through in March, April and May was horrific and now they are facing having to go through it all again.
Some posters will respond to fairly harmless introvert-type posts with frankly Malthusian posts about accepting that other people's parents may have to die so their industry can continue.
As I said, I do hope some posters are being paid for their posts and don't actually think unnecessary deaths are acceptable.

@Snoringferret

OP was asking: if you're not having a hard time, why not?

That's not what the OP said, she was asking if you WERE having a hard time, why?

This is a totally different thing.

People were answering the question of why they were having a hard time not on a 'competitive suffering bus'.

OP was asking:

• Am I some numb shell of who I was?

• Have I forgotten how life was?

• Is there something wrong with me that I don't get it?

No, there's nothing wrong with you if you're not suffering, and here's my thoughts on why I am also not suffering, despite not being a numb shell. Here are also my thoughts on who I've noticed I can really feel a lot of empathy for, and who I struggle to be bothered about.

Enter @snoringferret to defend everyone, despite there really being no need.

@CountessFrog

I struggle when my dog walker takes my dog out with his friends, realising that my dog has no legal barrier to socialising, whereas my teenagers do.

Also currently paying £100 per week for my teenager to access a psychologist to help with her anxiety, which has increased hugely since March. Because if course she would wait years for the same treatment on the NHS.

Being told we must prevent the NHS from being overwhelmed, when the mental health services already is, but all that seems to matter is physical health.

Unfortunately mental health services for teenagers were like this before coronavirus. Only those at active risk of suicide ever got seen promptly and even then the parent had to apply a lot of pressure.

I am very sorry to hear about your teenager's anxiety. I have been there and even though we did get seen by the NHS mental health services, the treatment was never completed by the NHS and there was a lot of pressure just to put the teenager on prozac and go away without further behavioural treatment.
Anxiety is very hard to treat because it moves onto new fears once one fear has passed. There are online resources - selfhelp.org or similar web address is good.