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Original poster

half term visits

27 replies

LaLoose · 05/10/2020 10:52

Can I get some opinions, please? Put aside the question of whether or not we will be in a two-week 'circuit break', and assume we will be free to come and go as we please during half term. Should we go and visit my parents? I am concerned that, now the kids are back at school, it may be exposing them to too much risk of infection.

So, what are you planning to do regarding visiting grandparents, please, and why?

Thanks!

OP posts:
FraterculaArctica · 05/10/2020 10:53

No, not seeing grandparents (all over 70) here till March at the earliest. I have two lower primary age children.

MrsShelton · 05/10/2020 10:54

No we definitely are not seeing grandparents

These are the very people we are doing all this for!

Stellaris22 · 05/10/2020 10:55

Easy answer for me as both families are 300 miles away. Not visiting anyone (even for xmas) as it's not worth the risk.

But we are fortunate to WFH, obviously it's different if childcare is needed.

Cookerhood · 05/10/2020 10:56

Do the grandparents have a say? They may feel it's worth the risk to be able to spend time with their grandchildren. If it does turn out to be a 2 week break, maybe keep them away from everyone for the first week & take them late in the second week. That would mean no meeting up with other people though, so it's a balance.

mrsknottschicken · 05/10/2020 10:58

I totally get your concerns. My folks are insistent that we get together at the weekend as we have not seen them since the summer. I've explained my concerns about risks because DD is back at school, but they are not worried. They are super cautious otherwise (still wiping shopping). There will be 5 of us in total so it's within the rules, so I guess we will see them if it's still allowed and they're insistent. According to the acrgis map there are 0-2 cases in our area and 0-2 cases in their area so I guess it is okay, for now.

mrsknottschicken · 05/10/2020 11:00

@Cookerhood

Do the grandparents have a say? They may feel it's worth the risk to be able to spend time with their grandchildren. If it does turn out to be a 2 week break, maybe keep them away from everyone for the first week & take them late in the second week. That would mean no meeting up with other people though, so it's a balance.
I think this is a good point. If it was up to me, we would not visit. But my mum said "Life is too short and we have not seen DGC." So I let the decision be hers. If we had higher cases than we do I would not be comfortable doing it, though, and I will be keeping an eye on things.
actiongirl1978 · 05/10/2020 11:02

I think that unless the GPS have said they don't want to see you then you should go ahead.

TheGreatWave · 05/10/2020 11:04

My parents live 3 hours away, both of us in areas with extra restrictions, so no.

MIL we will keep to a minimum, she is in our support bubble, but with three at school it probably isn't the best idea.

IncidentsandAccidents · 05/10/2020 11:05

We'll hopefully be meeting my mum in her garden and for a walk. She is ecv and my children have been very good at socially distancing when we visit her. There have been no covid cases in dc's school. If this changes, we'll stick to face time for a while. Dh's parents live at the other end of the country so we won't be seeing them for a long while.

cologne4711 · 05/10/2020 11:05

I will be visiting my mother - I think her view on the risk is more important than mine.

Original poster
LaLoose · 05/10/2020 11:27

Thank you. This is all very helpful! It's so hard to know what to do for the best. I know my mum and dad would want to see their grandchildren, but I also know that none of us would be able to live with the guilt if anything did happen.

I like the idea of perhaps going late in the second week though. Good thought - thanks @Cookerhood.

OP posts:
Mummabeary · 05/10/2020 11:37

@LaLoose

Thank you. This is all very helpful! It's so hard to know what to do for the best. I know my mum and dad would want to see their grandchildren, but I also know that none of us would be able to live with the guilt if anything did happen.

I like the idea of perhaps going late in the second week though. Good thought - thanks @Cookerhood.

Also worth considering what guilt you would feel if you didn't visit and then one of them got ill or worse. We are seeing my parents as to me I would feel more guilty if I stopped them from spending these precious days with their grandchildren and then something happened to them. My grandfather dropped dead gardening at age 70. Who knows what's around the corner and there are risks everywhere? Obviously if your parents aren't happy with the risks then that's a different issue.
SoUtterlyGroundDown · 05/10/2020 11:40

We see my parents regularly. My mum lives alone so is in our ‘support bubble’. She is also 59 and works full time in the NHS.
My dad is 60 and his wife works full time as a teacher.
We are probably their least risky contacts to be honest.

Original poster
LaLoose · 05/10/2020 11:40

Yes @Mummabeary very good point!

OP posts:
user1493413286 · 05/10/2020 11:41

I’m leaving it up to my parents and parents in law; they’re all in their 60s and are ok with visits at the moment

SoUtterlyGroundDown · 05/10/2020 11:43

My dad also lives with his two teen step children!

Waspnest · 05/10/2020 11:49

We normally go down south (about 250 miles away) to visit my parents every school holiday but my mum has a blood cancer so we haven't been since new year. Teenage DD is back at school, we'd have to stop at service stations to get fuel etc plus I'm still doing shopping for two elderly previously shielding households so I don't really want to risk carrying the virus either way!

But my mum really doesn't want to catch Covid and would rather wait until it's much safer to see DD even if it isn't for a few extra months. If your parents don't see it that way it must be a real dilemma.

DimityandDeNimes · 05/10/2020 11:53

We'll be visiting DC's grandparents. Both sets live some distance away and are pushing 80 and want to see their teenaged grandchildren. As GP are adults, I'm happy to let them assess their risk.

GrumblyMumblyisnotJumbly · 05/10/2020 12:02

We are seeing grandparents infrequently as do not live close by but the area we live in and they live in have few if any cases according to stats. School aged children so that is biggest concern re risk as we are curtailing most other activities. Age is a factor but no underlying conditions. We unexpectedly lost a GP not that long ago so the other GP is now alone and it's made me realise time with them isn't unlimited. We will be cautious but the relationship between grandchildren and grandparents is precious.

WhyareWehardofthinking · 05/10/2020 12:07

We have a 2 week half term so we will see my parents the weekend before we go back (after 2 weeks of near isolation), but we will still very much distance from them (we are in a lockdown area anyway, but I haven't seen them in person since the the start of term; not since I have been anywhere near students.

We aren't seeing anyone but the Tesco delivery driver and our own schools (me and partner) and the kids school anyway.

MrsJonesAndMe · 05/10/2020 13:12

No we won't be.... but mine are in a different country so out of the question and my in laws we see only a few times a year. We went and saw them in August when we felt that cases in both areas were low and things were calm. With the rise in cases we've had this week, I daren't think what it will look like by October.

MrsJonesAndMe · 05/10/2020 13:15

*October half term obviously

Petitmum · 05/10/2020 13:22

We are in a lockdown area in South Wales, my parents live a few doors down but we will not be going in the house to see them as per the rules. My father is 80 and very vulnerable due to underlying health issues so we are sticking to the rules.
We had hoped to go away to a different part of wales for a few days but that doesn't seem likely now!!! We will have to make do with some country and beach walks within our county and hope that the weather isn't too bad...............

WankPuffins · 05/10/2020 13:23

My 85 year old dad is coming to stay in half term.

We’ve not seen him since March but do you know what, he can’t be bothered anymore. He’s on his own and hasn’t seen anyone, he only has us 150 miles away.

If he catches Covid and dies he says so be it. He’s had skin and colon cancer in the past three years he’s past caring now. He’s out and about most days anyway, popping round the town and shops, always was. At first I was so worried but I’ve mellowed. Life is short and to be frank, if he’s still here in 5 years he’ll be bloody lucky. So he may as well visit his grandkids.

Apple40 · 05/10/2020 13:44

We are still seeing all grandparents, my two are 12 and 10 but rest of nieces and nephews range from 9 to 2 years old, there is no hugging etc .life has to go on just a bit differently at the moment. My mother in law would not cope with not being allowed to see her grandchildren it would really affect her mental health , she struggled during the lockdown even when we were chatting on FaceTime , through the windows etc.