Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Kids party - would you feel comfortable..

90 replies

Piplette · 29/09/2020 22:53

Sending your child to a small party with 4 other children from their class? Only other attendees would be the parents of the child having the party and it would be at their home?

My dd attended a similar party last month and given it was with a group of children she is very close to I was happy to do this as I didnt feel it posed any greater risk than them being in school together?

Dd's birthday is approaching and with cases going up there is no chance of having the larger party at a soft play as originally planned but she's now asking if she can have a small party like the one she attended. However we have local restrictions that prohibit having people outside your household in your house but there is a lack of clarity around children (the kids in question are all 5/6) and they seem to be excluded??

If the schools are still running at this point would you send your child to a party like this?

OP posts:
MsTSwift · 29/09/2020 22:57

No because it’s over the rule of 6. 4 kids with a parent each is 8 and you and presumably your child’s father? Breaking the law sorry. Kids not excluded in England

GentlyGentlyOhDear · 29/09/2020 22:59

We just declined such an invite as it is against our local guidelines for households to mix. I know the kids are all in school together but it is another potential exposure and just doesnt sit right with me.

Sctree · 29/09/2020 23:00

This is the clearest rule that they have put in place really. Kids are included. OP, can you please share the information which caused the confusion to you? I am genuinely curious since the rule is so clear.

Original poster
Piplette · 29/09/2020 23:02

It could easily be arranged so that only 1 parent was present so that isn't a concern. It's more the indoor element. They sit together in class all day with no distancing at all but can't sit together in my living room.

If I could bank on the weather I'd just put up a gazebo but November weather is too unpredictable.

OP posts:
DumplingsAndStew · 29/09/2020 23:03

Mixing at least 5 households? What do you think?

MsTSwift · 29/09/2020 23:04

Also it is not guidance anymore it’s law. You have one neighbor seeing them trooping into your house and reporting you and it’s an upsetting scene for your child and a hefty fine.

Original poster
Piplette · 29/09/2020 23:05

I think they mix in school 5 days a week with no distancing so why is there a greater risk?

It's hard to explain to children something that doesn't fully make sense.

OP posts:
IncrediblySadToo · 29/09/2020 23:06

Where do you live?

Tbh I think it would depend how well I knew the parents. If they were like me & had been being very careful & the kids were in the same school bubble then possibly.

If I knew the parents were social butterflies then probably not.

But I'm very cautious, others may not be
No harm in asking them.

Original poster
Piplette · 29/09/2020 23:07

Believe me my neighbours have been doing a whole lot worse unfortunately.

Thinking if weather permitting I might just arrange a play date at the local park (where they can mix with even more random children)

OP posts:
Clearthinking · 29/09/2020 23:09

Got the same problem, literally sitting next to each other, holding hands, playing tag and being kids at school. But, 5 can't come round and play in a garden!! Yet I see chil minders with 4 different kids, picking up another child and take them home. In the eyes of a child it's so confusing xx

MargotLovedTom1 · 29/09/2020 23:10

No because it’s over the rule of 6. 4 kids with a parent each is 8 and you and presumably your child’s father?

OP said parents of party child (presumably OP and husband/partner) would be the only adults.

It's shit that it's all against the law now OP.

IncrediblySadToo · 29/09/2020 23:10

@MsTSwift

Also it is not guidance anymore it’s law. You have one neighbor seeing them trooping into your house and reporting you and it’s an upsetting scene for your child and a hefty fine.
You are misreading & miscalculating Birthday child 4 invitees 1-2 parents of birthday child

6-7. If only one parent stays, it's NOT illegal in much of the U.K.

Even if both parents stay I doubt the neighbours are going to call the police & Jack shit will happen if they do

Merename · 29/09/2020 23:11

Are you in England? That may be the confusion as provision is made in Scotland for this, with more than 2 households able to mix outdoors when it’s children under 12, associated adults still need to be only 2 households tho up to 6. We’ve got a few parties like the one you describe, drop off kids for a play in garden with group of 4 or 5.

titchy · 29/09/2020 23:11

What on Earth is the issue? They're with each other at school FFS. Does anyone really believe they run around the playground 2m away from each other?

And it's legal! OP (your dp may have to disappear), birthday child and 4 others. Makes six.

Do games that involve hand washing and dressing up that includes face masks! Musical statues spaced apart, pass the parcel using feet!

withgraceinmyheart · 29/09/2020 23:12

Are you in a local lockdown area? If so then I wouldn't because households aren't supposed to mix as far as I understand it.

If not then I would be happier if it took place at a covid secure location rather than your house. Some kids places are still doing small parties for 6 or less and I think that's safer.

Fetaliving · 29/09/2020 23:12

No I wouldn’t do it. Partially because of the risk and rules but also because I wouldn’t want to risk disappointing my child if rules change. New guidelines on households mixing or a circuit break lockdown might mean you’d have to cancel. I’d plan a super special family treat at home instead.

SirSamuelVimes · 29/09/2020 23:13

I would be entirely comfortable with this.

BeneathTheMilkyTwilight · 29/09/2020 23:16

OP says she is under local lockdown which specifies households should not mix? Don't get the confusion... No, OP, you should not hold this party. I'm sorry for you but it's how it is at the moment. 3 of my kids have had birthdays this year in lockdown. It sucks but the alternative of ignoring lockdown restrictions is a lot worse.

Original poster
Piplette · 29/09/2020 23:20

@titchy

What on Earth is the issue? They're with each other at school FFS. Does anyone really believe they run around the playground 2m away from each other?

And it's legal! OP (your dp may have to disappear), birthday child and 4 others. Makes six.

Do games that involve hand washing and dressing up that includes face masks! Musical statues spaced apart, pass the parcel using feet!

They literally greet each other in the morning with a hug and skip out holding hands so there is zero distancing.

Will look into hiring somewhere - just trying to future proof as much as possible and these places might also need to cancel as numbers continue to rise.

OP posts:
MrsAvocet · 29/09/2020 23:22

I asked a similar question a few days ago OP except it was regarding my teenager meeting with friends at a schoolmates house. I was anxious about the households mixing thing, even though logically, as these boys all sit by each other in school for 5 days a week I couldn't see that meeting up to play a board game for a few hours was really increasing the risk significantly! Anyway, everyone reassured me that provided we aren't in a local lockdown area (we aren't) then it us perfectly legal as long as the number in the house doesn't exceed six.
In your shoes I would probably invite one less child and have 2 adults there in case of any kind of mishap. Obviously you do run the risk of having to cancel if the rules change, but that's the case with pretty much anything at the moment isn't it?

Original poster
Piplette · 29/09/2020 23:26

We are currently in a local lockdown - although annoying we are semi rural and the closest village is in the next county which is not on local lockdown.

Will just need to assess things in a month and see where we are then - for all we know we might be back on full lockdown! At least that would be easier to explain to DD!

OP posts:
NickMarlow · 29/09/2020 23:26

I am hoping to be able to do exactly that for my dds birthday if local restrictions ease in time. In our case, it would be birthday child, her little sister, 3 friends from school and me. Ironically, dh who is still wfh may have to take time off work in order to leave the house and not take us over a total of 6....

Pansypath · 29/09/2020 23:28

I would do it as long as you think the neighbours won't snitch. I think it is crazy that kids in same bubble can't have a party together.

MrsEricBana · 29/09/2020 23:38

It's not ok, the rules are clear, more exposure = more risk. Even if it wasn't against the law it's just not a plan at the current time unfortunately.

Davidsparkle · 29/09/2020 23:47

You can’t do it if you’re in local restrictions.
If you weren’t then I’d be much more comfortable coming to your house than a supposedly Covid secure venue assuming you’re reasonably hygienic and don’t have loads of visitors!
I know the weather might be crap but could you organise some sort of treasure hunt at a local park or something?
Sorry to your dd. Hope she has a good day one way or another.
One of mine snuck his party in just before lockdown and it’s quite emotional looking back at the photos.
My dd had a zoom party with cousins mid lockdown but it was a bit flat tbh however much we tried to make it special.