Kids party - would you feel comfortable..

[Piplette]

Sending your child to a small party with 4 other children from their class? Only other attendees would be the parents of the child having the party and it would be at their home?

My dd attended a similar party last month and given it was with a group of children she is very close to I was happy to do this as I didnt feel it posed any greater risk than them being in school together?

Dd's birthday is approaching and with cases going up there is no chance of having the larger party at a soft play as originally planned but she's now asking if she can have a small party like the one she attended. However we have local restrictions that prohibit having people outside your household in your house but there is a lack of clarity around children (the kids in question are all 5/6) and they seem to be excluded??

If the schools are still running at this point would you send your child to a party like this?

I'm coming at this from a school's point of view, and from Manchester, but please listen because where I am this situation is now ridiculous.

At school kids don't socially distance, not because it is safe, but because we done have the resources to distance, so we have this shit idea of a bubble. Every time a child interacts with another, it is a risk. We really what all other interactions outside of school to stop, because it will decrease the overall risk, because every single interaction is a risk. Just because "they are in a bubble" and "they are together all day anyway" doesn't make your party any safer.

I've explained this to my 6th formers using the concept of tokens. Imagine you have 100 for the week, and every time you are in touching distance with someone you use one up. You will quickly use them up in school, and if you use them outside of school you might run out before the end of the week, therefore you are out of tokens. When you are out of tokens, you have ran out of the statistically safe interactions.

So many people have said they'd do anything to keep schools open safely, but I'm seeing none of that. And yet we keep having kids turb up to school with symptoms, we get told of parties and visits to grandparents and we have increasing levels of infections and now we are seeing increased deaths.

I'm pleased you can all legally mix right now, but I can't. I am a giant risk to my family. I hope to see my parents at the very end of my 2 week october half term so I can completely isolate for 2 weeks before hand.

Please, can we do what we said and do anything and everything to keep schools open? We are already sick of sending bubbles home.

2 adults and 4 kids is fine. They’re mixing at school anyway, what’s the issue? Some right old misery guts on here 🙄. Kids have had a proper shit year, been thrown under the bus really. Let them have a tiny bit of fun FGS.

I don’t see any issue OP. It’s within the rules.

If there’s some infinitesimally small risk of passing it on at the party that miraculously hasn’t already happened in school, I’d say that’s out weighed by the need for a bit of fun and celebration in our children’s lives. I’d crack on.

I think people are missing that you are in a local lockdown area.

I would consider under the 6 rule but not in a lockdown area.

It's fine, it's within the rules if there are 6 of you and they are in class together anyway

I would be entirely comfortable with this so long as it doesn't break the law (i.e. you're not in a lockdown area). The law is the law and, although I think it's a shockingly bad one in this case, it's not ok to break it so long as we live in an essentially just society. If you have five children attending, you'll need to limit it to one adult.

@Whyarewehardofthinking Thanks that's a really good explanation.

I tend to summarise as "it's not greater risk, but it is additional risk".

Your house/party is also unlikely to be as well risk assessed as a school. Is your lounge big enough to ensure the DC will socially distance (yes I know that 4 year olds won't socially distance all the time, but you should at least make the effort to make sure they are SD'ing as much of the time as you can? Will you be thinking about your ventilation? How thoroughly will you clean?

IMO better to stick to 1 or 2 friends and a structured activity.

... should say I wouldn't have any party at all if it's against the law in your area. My post was talking about what I'd do when restrictions were lifted!

@bambamthankyouboo
@TheKeatingFive @PinkPiranha11
Its not about the numbers...
Where op is there are additional rules due to local restrictions. So its not just about the rule of 6/general rules.

Depends upon your local lockdown doesn't it?

Where we live we are not under local lockdown and can have 2 people around (4 in the house already).

I've got no interest in what my neighbours are doing.

No, definitely not.

@Gatr ah I didn't realise that, what are the extra restrictions?

If the kids mix in class anyway and it's only them plus one set of parents it seems pretty low risk to me.

How can people not read - She is in a local lockdown area!

Ah yeah I missed that 🤦‍♀️

@PinkPiranha11

2 adults and 4 kids is fine. They’re mixing at school anyway, what’s the issue? Some right old misery guts on here 🙄. Kids have had a proper shit year, been thrown under the bus really. Let them have a tiny bit of fun FGS.

Misery guts or realists?

If people continue to ignore the law / local rules then the virus will continue to rise exponentially, deaths will grow at an alarming rate and schools may have to close.

I think another 6 months of school closed is more devastating to my DC than missing a birthday party.

And as op quite clearly puts in her post. She is in an area with local restrictions.

I think another 6 months of school closed is more devastating to my DC than missing a birthday party.

This. DS is an only child. By far is biggest interaction with other children is at school. We have cancelled all extracurricular activities to maximise his chance of being at school (like the pp explained with the tokens).
Yes they are still missing out on normal stuff like parties but at the end of the day I feel that at the moment being at school is the top priority and will have to be enough for him. It is 1000x better than being stuck at home with us home schooling, even without all the additional normal stuff.

I know a family locally who decided to have an illegal birthday party after the rule of six came in.

After the party three people at it tested positive. The person holding the party had given it to another adult and a child - the parent would not have had contact with the other parent and child otherwise. Its just the kids who would. No one else tested positive as far as i know, including other children at the party.

This burst a class bubble and sent my friend's son home for two weeks.

The woman who gave it to her friends works for the NHS in a senior role.

So do i think this is a good idea?

I think you can work that out for yourself.

Not a good idea and mine wouldn't attend as we are allowing socialising indoors or without distancing outdoors.

I certainly wouldn’t be going against local lockdown rules for a party. If everyone decides not to follow the rules we will end up far worse off.

No, we are in lockdown with no social gatherings, it’s one party explain to your DD this year will be a family party. I’m sure she will survive without a party for just one year, lots of kids don’t ever have parties.

I would do it. And I woild allow my kids to go. In fact my ds stayed at his mates the weekend for a sleepover. They're a family of 6. And 3 of the kids had a friend to stay over. Fri to Sunday.. Let kids have some fun.

Also, id like to point out how EVERYONE locally knows what happened. Suffice to say the parents of the children sent home and mutual acquitances are fuming to put it mildly. It has damaged relationships considerably - not because they tested positive in itself - but because they tested positive following an event that broke the rules. Its caused a huge amount of resentment.

I guess it depends on whether you want to take the risk that its 'safe' (you don't know this), are happy to be fined and that if it does go horribly wrong it could make life uncomfortable for you and your children in the community you live in.

Just for the sake of an illegal birthday party that no one needs to go to in an area of local lockdown where households arent supposed to be mixing at all on private premises.

Sorry I messed the local restrictions bit.. In that case I wouldn't

I think they mix in school 5 days a week with no distancing so why is there a greater risk

Because the risk increases the more time you spend with people.

The measures are in place to restrict time spent close together down to essential contact only, ie school or work. Parties and other socialisation is not as important, so should be avoided.

With the areas under local restrictions that make it illegal to mix households at home increasing, I wouldn't bank on being allowed to do this where you are anyway - it already covers all of Scotland and most of Wales and Northern England plus a few other places.

I think it’s fine, I would send mine. Thinking of doing similar for my dd in November unless guidelines have changed again