Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Is this now the new way of life?

233 replies

Wannaflyaway · 05/09/2020 00:42

Hi, I just wanted to ask those, who are a lot more knowledgeable than me, if, the way life is now, i.e. face masks in enclosed places, social distancing, the constant threat of local/national lockdowns, travel restrictions, quarantining, no theatres, no concerts, no mass gatherings etc. is really the new normal, not just temporarily, but for the long-term?. I think that it actually really is. I also feel that I'm now starting to come to terms with this new normal, which is what I thought I never would, but it isn't a nice feeling. It's a low-level depression and the feeling that I'm just existing, but not living, and that I have fuck-all to either plan for or to look forward to in the future.

OP posts:
MadameBlobby · 06/09/2020 21:02

@Jontysmum

Bravado is all very well, but it's bloody shocking to get that text to say you've tested positive. Really scarey
I can imagine - I hope you’re OK Flowers
tobee · 06/09/2020 21:06

@ScammedOrWhat

The comparisons with the War are nonsensical - saying "our grandparents loved through 5 years of the war but they got back to normal". The war held a threat of invasion, bombing, rationing. So people obviously lived through major changes. But they weren't afraid of hugging their grandparents, or crowding into each other's houses. And when the war was over - it was over. The risk was gone.

I'm not for a minute saying that lockdown/SD is worse than the War. But it is entirely and completely different and the analogy is useless.

I was thinking the other day that it's nothing like living in WW2. It's more akin to living in the trenches!!

SallySeven · 06/09/2020 22:07

My mum lived through the war. We ended up joking about the comparison with this year of covid thus:

You could at least go out and meet up with people and hug then.. but then again you'd be at risk of getting bombed.

The older people I know have been very good about all this tbh.

frasersmummy · 06/09/2020 22:12

Even if we dont get a vaccine or cure this level of restrictions must and will end

Think of the all the young adults right now .. if social distancing is not relaxed they will never be allowed to date , and therefore their will be no future generations...so common sense alone tells us that these restrictions will be lifted .

But i wish it was sooner rather than later .. I admire all the people

who say life is just dandy right now .. but for me its shit

I was widowed a few years ago.. getting to the office to talk to my colleagues, getting ds to his activities and catching up with other mums , getting out to watch ice hockey, were all simple ways for me to have adult interaction without the stress of a night out

Ds activities havent restarted as they are indoor, I cant go to the office and the ice hockey is cancelled this season coming

And did I mention that apart from my dad, who i can bubble with , no-one is supposed to hug me or my poor grieving son

And while I dont need to listen to her I really cant stand much more of bloody Nicola Sturgeon saying the virus has not gone away its very dangerous and we cant be complacent and she will not take risks

GlomOfNit · 06/09/2020 22:14

Jeez, of COURSE this isn't forever! This is temporary, it's been about 7 months so far, pandemics can take 2 years to run their course but most parts of the world may well be back to something approximating normal sooner.

The amount of hysteria on this thread Hmm. We have to do this stuff at the moment. We have to wear face coverings, accept limitations in the things we'd like to do, and socially distance where needed. It's not exactly akin to punitive rationing, sending your kids to live in the countryside for years on end and nightly bombing raids, is it? Hmm

Things will mostly resume as normal eventually. Some things won't. That happens. This is a historically important global event - people are bellyaching like babies that they're not allowed to do things. Do you not have any sense of historical proportion? This is a biggie, things can't BE normal for a while yet.

NeverForgetYourDreams · 06/09/2020 22:55

11 years ago we were all going to die of swine flu........I still don't know anyone who caught that.

stayathomer · 06/09/2020 23:05

I hate the way some people say the new normal, in that awful 'well you'll just have to do it' way. People saying they were worried about their kids and the answer always included the words 'the new normal'. I use the word temporary instead. This time last year we had no idea. I'm assuming the hand washing and possibility of a mask yes, and the knowledge that if people are sick you keep a distance, all that etiquette, but I dont believe that we'll never hug our parents again, and I believe our kids will get to get the full concert/festival experiences, and that indoor play areas etc will go back to the way they were.

eaglejulesk · 06/09/2020 23:18

But they weren't afraid of hugging their grandparents, or crowding into each other's houses. And when the war was over - it was over. The risk was gone.

Indeed they could hug people and crowd into each other's houses - until the people they wanted to hug were killed, or the houses bombed! Also, even those who weren't affected by bombing had to endure rationing - you couldn't just go out and buy whatever you want, clothing, food etc. Imagine if they had MN then, the complaining we would get! Imagine MN, when instead of people moaning about their DHs they would be writing, in droves, about them being killed and how were they to cope. And do you really think that once it was over that was the end? Life was pretty tough for some time afterwards for many.

Honestly, I really think some people have absolutely no idea of the impact of a war! This is so much easier - and yet still so many "can't cope."

Bollss · 07/09/2020 07:51

Honestly, I really think some people have absolutely no idea of the impact of a war! This is so much easier - and yet still so many "can't cope."

People can't cope with not abnormal and unnatural circumstances. People can't cope with the government purposely trying to scare them into submission and make them feel personally terrified.

No shit Sherlock. Of course people can't cope. Saying oh well people coped in a war dontchaknow. Yes, some of them did. A lot didn't. If you really think people coped during the war you're incredibly naive. A lot of them will have just about survived, like a lot of people are doing now.

Stop fucking judging what is an entirely natural reaction to your life being turned upside down and your support network being forcibly removed simultaneously.

SnuggyBuggy · 07/09/2020 07:53

I think most people can cope a lot better with almost anything with a support network and meaningful contact with said network. Social distancing is something which goes against our natural instincts especially in times of crisis.

WouldBeGood · 07/09/2020 11:56

@SnuggyBuggy

I think most people can cope a lot better with almost anything with a support network and meaningful contact with said network. Social distancing is something which goes against our natural instincts especially in times of crisis.
Yes to this
SusanneLinder · 07/09/2020 12:10

11 years ago we were all going to die of swine flu........I still don't know anyone who caught that

My friends 9 year old daughter died of Swine Flu.

Yes ,Nicola Sturgeon is reminding people that the virus hasn't hone, because of people like the stupid arseholes that rented a huge house and had a party for 300 people..Hmm

I hate the restrictions as much as anyone and none of this is " normal ". However it won't last forever and as DH has severe health issues, our family are putting up with it to prevent him getting ill as Covid19 could be devastating for him

kittensarecute · 07/09/2020 12:25

@NeverForgetYourDreams

11 years ago we were all going to die of swine flu........I still don't know anyone who caught that.
I had swine flu, I was really ill for ages with that.
kittensarecute · 07/09/2020 12:29

@frasersmummy

Even if we dont get a vaccine or cure this level of restrictions must and will end

Think of the all the young adults right now .. if social distancing is not relaxed they will never be allowed to date , and therefore their will be no future generations...so common sense alone tells us that these restrictions will be lifted .

But i wish it was sooner rather than later .. I admire all the people

who say life is just dandy right now .. but for me its shit

I was widowed a few years ago.. getting to the office to talk to my colleagues, getting ds to his activities and catching up with other mums , getting out to watch ice hockey, were all simple ways for me to have adult interaction without the stress of a night out

Ds activities havent restarted as they are indoor, I cant go to the office and the ice hockey is cancelled this season coming

And did I mention that apart from my dad, who i can bubble with , no-one is supposed to hug me or my poor grieving son

And while I dont need to listen to her I really cant stand much more of bloody Nicola Sturgeon saying the virus has not gone away its very dangerous and we cant be complacent and she will not take risks

This. Social distancing needs to end. Now.
herend88 · 07/09/2020 14:56

I don't think this is it for good now. I think current restrictions, local lockdowns etc will last for another year or so now. Hopefully less but perhaps a bit longer but its not forever.

I know I am relatively lucky in that we have a nice home, our income is secure and we have some savings. We are able to work from home and my relationship with my husband is great. I am a fairly self suffient person but my life has been impacted in that I'm not able to see my closest friend as she is still sheilding and undergoing medical treatment. Its also much harder to see other friends and family. We had travel planned for this year after many years of not being on holiday which all got cancelled. I felt in a bit of a slump about it all but recently I took some time to redefine my goals for the next year in the expectation that things won't return to normal until next spring / summer. Things like really taking control of my health, getting fitter and developing some new skills to taking up hillwalking with my husband, getting back into reading and so on. Small things but its been really helpful to have things to aim for and look forward to and the time scale of a year is useful as usually I am always trying to get things done yesterday!

I do appreciate that some people don't have the luxury of doing so but if you do even in a small way try and think about other things you could focus on in the next year aside from all the negatives.

nougatsquirrel · 07/09/2020 15:29

It takes 21 days to form a habit or so they say. And I think I have now reached the depressive position on this one. Acceptance of the loss of my civil liberties and natural human interactions. There have been some gains - working from home and bringing my nuclear family together. But the losses do have to be mourned: loss of friendships, stilted interactions where "the other" is a potential covid threat, the total joy being sucked out of any leisure activity, economic meltdown....etc.

If I try and be rational, I know that painfully slowly, restrictions will ease. Because unless thereare more pargolins out there with mutating diseases coming out, this was a fluke event, that happens unexpectedly ever so often. So once it gradually filters through the population or in 2022, when a safely proven vaccine is in place, I expect life will return to a healthier balance where we can interact without face masks, distance etc.

nougatsquirrel · 07/09/2020 15:32

I got it. I thought I was going to die alone at home in a pool of sweat. Luckily I was young and fit at the time and got through it.

stayathomer · 07/09/2020 15:37

This is so much easier - and yet still so many "can't cope."
Are you for real? There are plenty of people out there with illnesses who haven't been around their loved ones for months.

This. Social distancing needs to end. Now.
There's a pandemic. Allowances need to be made but end all social distancing and we may see the numbers we were seeing in the early days.

bendmeoverbackwards · 07/09/2020 15:38

Maybe it'll take a year or two but look at history, everything from the Black Death to Spanish flu

But Spanish flu never really went away. It came back again in 1958.

Forgone90 · 07/09/2020 15:39

It is ironic that the very people we are doing this to protect (elderly) are actually the ones that don't want to be protected. Most elderly people I know would much rather spend their remaining years living freely and being able to spend time with their loved ones as they wish, as opposed to being essential under house arrest!

Batshitbeautycosmeticsltd · 07/09/2020 15:42

I had swine flu. It wasn't as bad as seasonal flu for me but it made my elder daughter very ill. It's one of those things, IMO. Viruses. Life has to go on. Teal99 is spot on.

Forgone90 · 07/09/2020 15:45

There are around 165,000 cancer deaths a year in the uk... Think about those poor soles having to surcome to that awful disease completely on their own without any family or friends around them.

For me that is the saddest thought about this whole Thing!

Frazzled2207 · 07/09/2020 15:47

At some point in 2021 I think there will be a vaccine, or series or vaccines and although it will take a while to get cases down to extremely low, things will go back to normal. There will be a massive recession though so no economic normal for years. Possibly decades -remember it looks like a no deal brexit at the end of the year too

rorosemary · 07/09/2020 15:49

@Forgone90

It is ironic that the very people we are doing this to protect (elderly) are actually the ones that don't want to be protected. Most elderly people I know would much rather spend their remaining years living freely and being able to spend time with their loved ones as they wish, as opposed to being essential under house arrest!
It's not just the elderly, it's also the vulnerable. As a 41 year old very vulnerable person I do want protecting. So please keep distancing, it makes me less stressed and keeps me safer.
bendmeoverbackwards · 07/09/2020 15:53

This. Social distancing needs to end. Now.

I disagree. I think it's too early. SD is one of the easiest measures to implement surely?

Yes it's not great for young people but I do think we need to think about population control. Current population growth is just not sustainable. I don't understand why this hasn't been talked about more in recent years along with climate change discussion. Maybe we need to introduce a one child policy like China did? For a defined period to control population growth?