Is this now the new way of life?

[Wannaflyaway]

Hi, I just wanted to ask those, who are a lot more knowledgeable than me, if, the way life is now, i.e. face masks in enclosed places, social distancing, the constant threat of local/national lockdowns, travel restrictions, quarantining, no theatres, no concerts, no mass gatherings etc. is really the new normal, not just temporarily, but for the long-term?. I think that it actually really is. I also feel that I'm now starting to come to terms with this new normal, which is what I thought I never would, but it isn't a nice feeling. It's a low-level depression and the feeling that I'm just existing, but not living, and that I have fuck-all to either plan for or to look forward to in the future.

I honestly think we all need to get a bit of a grip. It's not that bad compared to the hell that many people have had to go through war-torn countries. my parents both grew up in different countries that were ravaged by war and social oppression. they went through a great hardships as many millions have around the world. I think it's it an opportunity to appreciate the little things. To not rely so heavily on doing things that cost money. I live in a big city so can't really appreciate nature quite as much as I would like to but still managed to. If you have lost people to covid or have lost your job or your health then I appreciate it is different. (I currently have lost half my income and I'm still suffering from long-term health effects from being ill in March). I'm also not allowed to see my elderly parents which is heartbreaking. But they are both shielding and are still very much adamant that we have to make the most of every day appreciating little things.I think their attitude has really worn off on me over the years.

toon you are largely right but the things that do not cost money and keep many people around the world going, like
making music and singing together, playing together, sitting talking together etc. are not happening; all those privately organized (I do not mean the commercial / shop based events.) events that mark the life of a community are banned or impossible to organize.

@maddiemookins16mum

It will end. History has shown that.

Yes, this^

Pandemics do end, this one would be unique if it didn't. And looking at the positive news about the progress of vaccine trails, it will probably end sooner than it otherwise would have. I don't know when that will be, but we will not be living like this forever.

@eaglejulesk

Well said *@YukoandHiro*. So many on MN are heavily into doom and gloom - and how does that help? Honestly, to listen to some of them you would think no-one has ever gone through a tough time before. I'm sure they get some sort of perverse pleasure from being negative. In a few years this will be but a distant memory - in the meantime just deal with it and stay hopeful.

It doesn't help but do you seriously think that thinking like this ^is a choice?"

Yes there are absolutely some people that are loving this but op isn't one of them, you can tell by her tone that she's not happy about it. She sounds almost reserved to accept it and helpless, without hope. That's how a lot of people feel because this has had a profound effect on mental health.

The people that are loving it tend to have more of a "my life was miserable before covid and I'm glad everyone is now equally miserable" or an "I'm so deep I don't need meaningful contact with other people" take on it

making music and singing together, playing together, sitting talking together etc. are not happening

They are though. Our local music venue has recently re-opened with small tables and a few less (but it was like that anyway) it was just on Radio 6 music about it the other day

People are meeting outside as well. But not all of those things have to stop.

@Prokupatuscrakedatus

toon you are largely right but the things that do not cost money and keep many people around the world going, like making music and singing together, playing together, sitting talking together etc. are not happening; all those privately organized (I do not mean the commercial / shop based events.) events that mark the life of a community are banned or impossible to organize.

Yes this. Anything that involves spending money seems to be up and running. Seeing family in a large group in someone's home, for example, isn't.

I can’t speak to any of the other things but theatres have started to re-open. The main barrier with theatres is the lack of government support and lack of clear guidance which has led to buildings having to shut down and make staff redundant and the many people working in theatre careers who have been forced to find new jobs in different fields.

The comparisons with the War are nonsensical - saying "our grandparents loved through 5 years of the war but they got back to normal". The war held a threat of invasion, bombing, rationing. So people obviously lived through major changes. But they weren't afraid of hugging their grandparents, or crowding into each other's houses. And when the war was over - it was over. The risk was gone.

I'm not for a minute saying that lockdown/SD is worse than the War. But it is entirely and completely different and the analogy is useless.

I think it is for the medium term ie a year or two more. Then I think we will see masks being worn by some in the UK all the time, like Asia but I think it's more about air pollution from my family there.

It is depressing. Not having certancy or being able to travel, less after school clubs, less going out.

I'm trying to turn it all into positives and streamline my life. But when taking my ds shoe shopping yesterday it was a bit sad only going into the exact shops we needed only. Because who wants to go shop to shop in a mask? Not a 13 year boy. We bought take away and ate it in the car. But that new normal meant we chatted more while eating and I saved some cash I guess?

Looking in worldometres predictions this is going to worse at Christmas so my mindset is make my life smaller for at least a year and plan ahead so no lockdown impacts us hard. Eg my Christmas shopping is already half done

[quote Bol87]@TrustTheGeneGenie - you can see family just not at their home. We are just out of a month of local lockdown & I saw friends & family all week, every week. Met my mum in the park with the grandkids & we went to the seaside one day. Met my friends at outdoor play centres, country walks & trails etc. Even in local lockdowns, you can make the most of what we’ve got. It made me so angry we couldn’t go in safe & clean gardens but much like an above poster, life is short. So I’m squeezing what I can out of it. It might not be exactly what I had in mind but there are still so many things we can do. Even a trip to see friends in a park would have seemed incredible in April. So don’t lose sight of how nice these things are compared to full lockdown![/quote]
I can't see my area coming out of local restrictions this side of Christmas and as the weather worsens those meet up options will become less viable.

Nothing like this lasts forever and all this stuff about living through a nightmare and saying that you don't see any point in being here is OTT in my opinion. It's temporarily inconvenient and restrictive, not something that renders the rest of your life unliveable.

You can see family (assuming you're lucky enough not to be in local lockdown) but only one other household at a time. Outdoors is going to get less appealing over the next few months. You can't hug them or interact normally as you need to socially distance.

But it is entirely and completely different and the analogy is useless.

I agree. Also, while not at all dismissing the horrors and deprivations and state of fear caused by the war, conflict is just about as old as humanity. It’s unfortunately part of human nature to engage in conflict and wars are based on tribalism which runs through our entire evolutionary history.

Historically it’s been easy for governments to rally support for wars by weaponising tribalism. And wars are man-made and entirely unnecessary. So while not dismissing the horrors of war, I do think human beings are evolved to cope better psychologically speaking with conflict.

We as a species are completely not evolved or equipped to cope with something that involves such an unnatural separation from each other. The modern world is isolating in a way it’s never been before so even in previous pandemics, there weren’t loads of people living alone not speaking to another person in months.

The war comparison is not directly analogous, but it is relevant in terms of the period of time of personal disruption, fear and other restrictions on life such as where you could go/what you ate etc. Have we forgotten that some people's children were literally sent hundreds of miles away to keep them safe.

My point was merely that, yes, this is utterly shit... but it will, in some sense, come to an end. The vaccine will reopen society, or some treatment will render it less serious. Or it will burn itself out like previous pandemics.

It's been an utterly rubbish year and I have really miserable days, but saying that life isn't worth it anymore is nonsense. As the historian who posted previously said, this will be a tiny footnote in most people's lives. Yes, it will change some things such as online shopping and more working from
Home/flexible working. It may even change our cities and their shape/structure. But In a decade, we'll look back on it as a blip.

The war thing is totally stupid as it was people supporting and being with other people that kept, and keeps, them going.

rainwaterflow
So while not dismissing the horrors of war, I do think human beings are evolved to cope better psychologically speaking with conflict.

An old lady in our village who remembers WW2 made a direct comparison during the strict lockdown. She pointed out that despite all the deprivations and destruction, people were still able to get together for companionship, comfort or just a good laugh - and that was what she missed the most.

@ScammedOrWhat

The comparisons with the War are nonsensical - saying "our grandparents loved through 5 years of the war but they got back to normal". The war held a threat of invasion, bombing, rationing. So people obviously lived through major changes. But they weren't afraid of hugging their grandparents, or crowding into each other's houses. And when the war was over - it was over. The risk was gone.

I'm not for a minute saying that lockdown/SD is worse than the War. But it is entirely and completely different and the analogy is useless.

It's a different scale as well. Through the war people in the worst hit cities especially were fearful of their life every day (particularly through the Blitz years).

It was a lot tougher, but with Covid a lot of people are probably frustrated because they just see it as the flu or whatever and aren't living in fear of getting Covid. Fear is a great motivator.

It was a lot tougher, but with Covid a lot of people are probably frustrated because they just see it as the flu or whatever and aren't living in fear of getting Covid. Fear is a great motivator

Nobody should be made to live in fear as a means of control.

Nobody should be made to live in fear as a means of control.'

No, but there's a huge difference, or divide if you like, between those who are either shielding or still living with a lot of self-imposed restrictions for fear of getting the virus (whether for themselves or to pass it to a family member for example); and those who don't really care if they get Covid or not and are trying to live their normal life.

It's a balancing act isn't it. I had a positive test last week. It's been a mild cold for me. I was never scared of getting it, wore a mask, was careful with hygiene, but caught it somehow anyway. None of my family are showing symptoms yet, but I am scared for the vulnerable.

it is just odd, going to the shops, people behind screens, wearing masks.
i could join a choir, but No I can't,
my dm is upset because her ramblers are not up and running.
but I know of no one personally who has had it, it is hard to comprehend.
no bonfire nights or processions
booking things in advance.
but i dont let things get me down.
i am not in lock down.

@annabel85

Nobody should be made to live in fear as a means of control.'

No, but there's a huge difference, or divide if you like, between those who are either shielding or still living with a lot of self-imposed restrictions for fear of getting the virus (whether for themselves or to pass it to a family member for example); and those who don't really care if they get Covid or not and are trying to live their normal life.

I suspect those that don't care if they get Covid likely would care if they or a loved one did get it.

You are right, @BlueBlancmange - they just don't think it'll happen to them, therefore it's not important. "People die of the flu, you know!" Meaning: "(Not me, of course, I won't die of the flu)".

Bravado is all very well, but it's bloody shocking to get that text to say you've tested positive. Really scarey