Would you?

[Understandingnotignorance]

Living in a multi generational household where three family members are on the clinically vulnerable list. I'm talking nhs shielded list from March where they were told not to go out even for exercise and to open a window for fresh air. Would you send your child due to start reception to school in these circumstances?

Can you clarify what the shielded people actually did during shielding? My dad also had the letter, but in the end went out for walks for mental health reasons.

Did everyone in the multi-generational household also follow the shielding rules? So has your Reception age child been trapped indoors since March? Or have you found a way of keeping some separation in the house?
Also, has anything changed for any people in the house, on the shielding list or not, since official shielding paused? Anyone gone back to work? Visited a cafe?
What do the shielded people think?
I think your decision needs to be made in the context of what you have been and are actually doing, and how well that has worked, rather than what the original letter said.

Not an easy decision but can you realistically home school from when turns 5 as an alternative?? It will have to be a personal choice and weighing up the local risk etc, can you view it on a weekly basis? Take it 1 week at a time?

Those that were shielding are expected to be back at work now though, shielding has ended for now.

We shielded as a household, in receipt of the NHS shielding letter, the dcs have been back to childcare for a while and school next week. They needed it and we needed it and well aware could be short lived being able to go to school if shielding comes back in over the winter

I'm.not sure anyone can answer that question for you, but what I would say is I wouldn't think you a bad parent if you didn't, and I wouldn't think you didn't care about those people if you did. What a horrible position to be in .

Are you in a position to do the required work at home? That would probably be a big factor for me.

Thank you for your answers. We have been completely shielding as a household and our relatives nearby have their own private grounds that we go to for exercise/mental health. And a couple of visits to a secluded beach area where we literally were the only ones. But that is as far as it has gone. Otherwise no one has gone out as we have fortunately been able to wfh. My 5 year old has enjoyed being home but I do worry about the lack of social interaction, routine and all the other factors necessary for her healthy development. But equally 3 members of the household being on the NHS shielded list, not one but three! Separation in the house will be extremely difficult hence why we all decided to shield in the house. I can do the work at home not as well as a school obviously but then I do think at this age children have time to catch up later. I'm losing sleep and have a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach over this. It's a calculated risk but either way I'm failing someone.

Yes, shielding has ended.

My family members are saying they will support my decision either way for what I choose and that to have faith that all will be OK even if dd does go and that they know its important for children's mental health. But they have followed all the shielding advice to the tee and are still doing so despite shielding being paused due to being so high risk.

Shielding has ended thou.

Yes, shielding has ended in a technical sense but the reasons why shielding was suggested necessary still exist. The people who were shielding are not miraculously cured of whatever condition makes them more vulnerable to covid.

And it is paused, not ended, because it will be needed again in winter when cases rise.

The risk to vulnerable people hasn't though 🙄. Falling rates which are on the rise again isn't exactly comforting.

Completely @latticechaos, thank you. Their medical vulnerability is still there.

Yes, guidelines state DC need to attend school in September.

I think there are ways to reduce the risk - the child changing clothes and showering straight after school for example. Also, they are likely to be so tired from school that they will be in bed early so would be interacting far less with the shielded people than during the extended lockdown.

I fully understand your divided feelings. I am constantly tormented by the competing 'What ifs', but do recognise this situation is not sustainable for life or even for the winter. How would they have been shielded from norovirus, for example, if Covid hadn't come along? Incidence of Covid is very low in our area at the moment, so we are taking more than usual precautions but still taking baby steps into the world again.

Blanket guidelines for such vastly different circumstances.

@LocalHobo

Yes, guidelines state DC need to attend school in September.

To paraphrase a commonly-heard phrase from my childhood, if government guidelines said jump off a cliff would you do it?

The OP knows the guidelines, but is thinking through the real life implications for her family.

Thanks @scarby9 I had thought straight into the shower after school and the earlier bed time. Another concern is my role in dropping and collecting where I am around several parents waiting. Even with staggered times the school is four form entry so huge.

I think you can manage pick up/drop off - wear a mask and be assertive. Also time it so you don't hang around.

Focus on the child, that is the main question imo.

If I focus on the child then the decision would be to send them to school without question.

Thank you for your replies, I know only I can make this decision ultimately 😞

Honestly? I think you need to rethink the multi-generational household. You can’t all separate yourselves from society indefinitely. Perhaps the relatives with private grounds could help out.

@Understandingnotignorance

If I focus on the child then the decision would be to send them to school without question.

Sorry, I wasn't clear - I meant don't complicate it by the pick up concerns, as the real risk is an asymptomatic child. That is enough to be mulling over.

I know you are thinking very hard about all these competing important concerns.

Whatever you choose you are doing your best you can not control the world.

I have tried that avenue @hedda but financially its not possible at this moment in time. The relatives are elderly and so that's not an option.

Thank you @latticechaos for your understanding and kind messages.

Oh gosh, think I'm a bit over-invested in your thread op, it just has struck a chord as so many tossers people act like it is really simple but it isn't.

This is a horrible time for lots of people due to worry.

You have to do what is right for your family. If it will benefit your kid to be at school and those shielding are okay with that then do it, just take extra precautions at home. If it’s any help, my daughter was on the shielding list and has gone back to school. Hand washing when in and clothes changed. I then spray everything before it passes the front hall.

@latticechaos it's the reason I deliberated so much about posting as I couldn't bear any over domineering posters who have no empathy to differing circumstances on top of this awful dilemma. It's not a simple deregister and all is well. We were so fortunate to get a place at this good school.