Would you?

[Understandingnotignorance]

Living in a multi generational household where three family members are on the clinically vulnerable list. I'm talking nhs shielded list from March where they were told not to go out even for exercise and to open a window for fresh air. Would you send your child due to start reception to school in these circumstances?

Thanks everyone. I decided to give it a go and send her. At the moment I take her to the park straight after school with a picnic so we are in the house for less time, then it's bath and a hour of TV before bed. No more hugs or sitting in same room as family members so not sure how great this is going to be as their bond was huge or how it will be during winter months but trying to find a way to make it work. Grandparents are adamant they want to hug her and are scared she won't understand as she's so young and will feel rejected by them which will impact her emotionally. Trying to find a way that works for all but it is all so very crap.

Regardless, your child is entitled to an education and that has to come first..

Can you reconfigure your household to keep them separate?

Just wanted to say that although I am very keen on all kids getting back to school ASAP, I completely understand the dilemma you have been facing. I hope she is enjoying her time back at school. You know that you can pull her out if circumstances change and you no longer feel comfortable. She is very little and as someone else mentioned many children don't even start school until they're 6 or 7.

Haven't read the whole thread.
It partly depends why they were on the shielding list. More is known about coronavirus since March. Some of the conditions on the original shielding list are now known to be not as high risk as initially thought. Other conditions like diabetes were never on the list but have emerged as being very clinically vulnerable.

I think in any case, shielding list or not, it's best to be cautious. Handwashing when back from school, change out of uniform - it's quite nice anyhow to have separate comfy 'at home clothes regardless of Covid. Your compromise solution sounds sensible. It might be hard initially for no hugs with grandparents but children can adapt to new setups very quickly if it's presented to them in the right way.

OP, you seem like a lovely mum and caring relation to your vulnerable relatives. I don't envy you having to make these choices. for you.

PP said about children starting school later in some other countries, and that is a valid point. Your DD won't miss out if you are reading to her daily and talking to her a lot.

Home education isn't standing in front of the room for 5 hours, but leading your DC in learning through play, reading, counting steps as you walk etc etc. She's still so young.

I do think that it needs to be led by the vulnerable family members. If they want to be with DD then I think that is more important than the small risk Google your area for what the risk is of your DD firstly contracting Covid and then transmitting it. I will be flamed for that, but if it were my family I think I would go for definites rather than maybes. By that I mean: the definite of the strong relationship, Vs the small maybe of illness.

Not everyone who goes to school is going to get Covid or even be exposed to Covid. Chances are much higher of illness and death from other causes, and we all weigh up those risks everyday as best we can, but not by locking ourselves up forever.

Not trying to be rude, OP, and I think you are one in a long list of people who are trying to work out this life puzzle in situations with relations who had been on shielding list.

@Mintjulia an education doesn't only have to be given at school particularly at this age where they learn through play. I disagree that it comes first when lives are endangered. Nonetheless the decision was based on a whole range of holistic factors too which is why I decided to trial it.

She is enjoying it and yes I am going to monitor the situation really closely and change it if and when needs be.

Crosspost @StillCounting123 I think you have summed it up really well there. These were all the thoughts I had whilst debating it all in my head and in the end I had to keep the faith that not all will contract it and to keep that in mind.

Thank you for the understanding and empathy lots of you have shown.

I deliberated about posting due to a significant proportion of threads on here being quite flippant in that children must return due to their human rights to education when it is not that black and white in these awful unfathomable times. If others are in a similar situation please speak up as it makes it less lonely as sometimes it feels as though the rest of the world is now carrying on as normal and there is a sense of them and us for those that were/are shielding. There's a place for all us of us in society and if we all abide by the rules then it makes these decisions for those of us in such difficult circumstances just that bit easier not to have to hide away.

Difficult situation but kids need to go to school. I suppose it depends whether you prioritise your child or your other relatives.

Sorry posted too soon. Shit and difficult situation but ultimately that’s what the decision seems to be

I'm so happy you've come to a decision that works for you all for now. Your thread has really helped highlight the nuances of this situation for families who have been shielding. I hope your dd is having lots of fun at school, reception is such a lovely and special part of school life.

I'm sorry, OP, I skim read your update and didn't notice the part about this causing worry for your elderly relatives. Could there be a compromise where your dd and relatives can be in the same room but no physical contact? Or could you all get wrapped up and have a post-school tea in the garden so your dd can share her day with everyone? My mum has also been shielding but doesn't live with us. My younger dd (4) does understand that she can't touch her grandma for now but they enjoy their pretend hugs and lots of chats. understand this might be more difficult if you are living together though. You know your situation best and I really hope you can all find a way around this 💐

According to a scientist on the BBC’s statistics programme “More or Less” today, for reasons the scientists don’t understand, under 10s are very unlikely to catch and pass on Covid - it may be worth a listen.

It’s on Radio 4 by the way.

Thanks for that link, it's reassuring to listen to.