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Original poster

Dd wants to go to a "socially distanced rave".

60 replies

BoxhillBertha · 08/08/2020 11:45

She's 20, usually living away from home but came back in March for lockdown. Back to her uni town in September.

She finishes work in a week and wants to go to a "socially distanced rave" in Bristol.

I don't want her to go and come back home after. I'm worried it won't be socially distanced at all!

I have two other dcs, both school age, due to go back in September which we are all desperately hoping will happen. One of them has bad asthma and is in the last year of A levels.

We live rurally and have been so careful to socially distance, we've had friends over in our garden and that's about it.

I understand that dd1 is bored but surely she can wait until she returns to uni in September and is away from home?

I'm not sure how I'll cope if anything jeopardises the dcs return to school and therefore my return to work.

She has said she's going to go anyway Sad and I'm not sure what to do next.

Just to say to the inevitable "she's an adult she makes the rules", I don't think her need to go to a rave is more important than everyone else returning to school and work as safely as possible.

OP posts:
frazzledquaver · 08/08/2020 11:49

Can she access her student accommodation now? It sounds like she doesn't want to abide by the rules of the house and doesn't care about your concerns, so perhaps she should move back to her student accommodation. Otherwise, could she self-isolate for ten days when she gets back. I would be furious, personally. What she wants to do is illegal and selfish, and I don't see why you should have to accommodate this.

Original poster
BoxhillBertha · 08/08/2020 11:51

Her new lease starts September 1st. She'll be off then so I don't think it's unreasonable to tell her to wait until then?

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 08/08/2020 11:51

Is this an official race or an illegal event?

I think you’re right to say she can’t come home for fourteen days after (that’s the quarantine period for people who have been exposed but no symptoms).

Triangularbubble · 08/08/2020 11:52

Very clearly it’s not going to remain socially distanced.

She’s an adult and can make her own decisions, that doesn’t mean those decisions don’t have consequences. I’d tell her if she goes she doesn’t come back unless she’s quarantined properly somewhere else for two weeks (no idea how she could do that effectively!). Assuming it’s an illegal rave and I knew where it was I’d also tip off the police, but I’m a spoilsport like that.

Original poster
BoxhillBertha · 08/08/2020 11:52

i don't want her to self isolate! I have a broken wrist and the last thing i need is having to wait on her for 10 days!

OP posts:
Original poster
BoxhillBertha · 08/08/2020 11:53

No idea if it's "official ", not sure how it can be?

OP posts:
AngelsWithSilverWings · 08/08/2020 12:03

Your house so your rules apply. If she goes she will have to find somewhere else to stay!

But I'm also wondering how you would know who she was mixing with and whether or not she is socially distancing correctly when she goes out with friends while at home. I have to trust my 14 year old when he goes out but I can't be 100% sure he is practising good social distancing.

Original poster
BoxhillBertha · 08/08/2020 12:04

I've found it. They sit at tables and it's an official event. Now conflicted!

OP posts:
letsmakethishappen · 08/08/2020 12:05

No way drunk people adhere to social distancing rules she’s lying to you. She’s selfish esp knowing her sibling has severe asthma.

OpheliasCrayon · 08/08/2020 12:11

She's 20. .... Why are you trying to stop an adult doing something?

I'd love to go to an actual non socially distanced rave.

Partayyyyy · 08/08/2020 12:13

Socially distanced rave haha that isn't going to happen obvs!stick to your fund she should stop being selfish and think or the rest of you!!she goes she dont come home simple good for you dont cave in !!!

Partayyyyy · 08/08/2020 12:13

*guns not fund lol

Original poster
BoxhillBertha · 08/08/2020 12:17

OpheliasCrayon

There's always one Hmm

Read the last paragraph of the OP.

OP posts:
squeekums · 08/08/2020 12:18

I'd love to go to an actual non socially distanced rave
Same, would be interesting and just so odd but I'd love to do it

WorraLiberty · 08/08/2020 12:21

@BoxhillBertha

I've found it. They sit at tables and it's an official event. Now conflicted!
I just can't imagine a rave like that

Sounds more like tea at the Ritz Grin

shinynewapple2020 · 08/08/2020 12:24

I am assuming that she has her own bedroom in your house so can you just make sure that you distance from each other as best as you can in your home afterwards ? Plenty of dettol on surfaces, you sit in the living room while she's in the kitchen etc?

My DS moved to live with his GF a couple of weeks into lock down but this is what I did while he was still living here as the social distancing at his work seems to be non existent .

OverTheRainbow88 · 08/08/2020 12:25

“socially distanced rave" in Bristol.

I live in a house overlooking these socially distanced raves in Bristol... I can tell you now, there is no socially distancing going on what so ever.

In fact after the latest one our police force apologised to the locals for not intervening so maybe the next one will be broken up!

Original poster
BoxhillBertha · 08/08/2020 12:30

I know! Sounds like my kind of rave these days (54!)

OP posts:
Original poster
BoxhillBertha · 08/08/2020 12:31

that was to worraliberty

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 08/08/2020 12:34

@BoxhillBertha

I know! Sounds like my kind of rave these days (54!)
Mine too

I wonder if they have a break halfway through for bingo? Grin

Original poster
BoxhillBertha · 08/08/2020 12:35

its officially organised so now not sure what to do.

OP posts:
minisoksmakehardwork · 08/08/2020 12:38

As an adult, she is able to risk assess for herself and decide whether something is worth it or not.

But she lives with you currently. So I would suggest if she does go, you would be perfectly reasonable to say, as an adult, that you believe she would pose a risk to the asthmatic and you want her to quarantine properly either on her return to your home - the 17 year old can help out so you won't need to wait on her - or elsewhere before returning home.

How would you feel if she promised not to get so drunk that she was incapable of wiping down handles and surfaces, putting her clothes straight on to wash and having a shower as soon as she gets in? Then maintaining social distancing within the home for the quarantine period?

OpheliasCrayon · 08/08/2020 12:39

@squeekums

*I'd love to go to an actual non socially distanced rave* Same, would be interesting and just so odd but I'd love to do it
Can confirm. ... Very ... Interesting!

Spend my 20s doing it....

But I cannot imagine a SD one!!!

titchy · 08/08/2020 12:39

Is she prepared to self isolate afterwards? If so then send her with your blessing. It's not really fair to expect her to take on responsibility for your broken arm, although I recognise what a pain that is.

Original poster
BoxhillBertha · 08/08/2020 12:56

I think its perfectly reasonable for her to think, if i do anything that requires self isolating, that will mean my mum, who has a broken arm and is in a full cast, will have to fetch and carry for me for 14 days.

Obviously she's free to then think fuck it id rather go to a party

OP posts: