Dd wants to go to a "socially distanced rave".

[BoxhillBertha]

She's 20, usually living away from home but came back in March for lockdown. Back to her uni town in September.

She finishes work in a week and wants to go to a "socially distanced rave" in Bristol.

I don't want her to go and come back home after. I'm worried it won't be socially distanced at all!

I have two other dcs, both school age, due to go back in September which we are all desperately hoping will happen. One of them has bad asthma and is in the last year of A levels.

We live rurally and have been so careful to socially distance, we've had friends over in our garden and that's about it.

I understand that dd1 is bored but surely she can wait until she returns to uni in September and is away from home?

I'm not sure how I'll cope if anything jeopardises the dcs return to school and therefore my return to work.

She has said she's going to go anyway and I'm not sure what to do next.

Just to say to the inevitable "she's an adult she makes the rules", I don't think her need to go to a rave is more important than everyone else returning to school and work as safely as possible.

Sounds like a shit rave.

If it was genuinely socially distanced then who would bother? They only put that on to pay lip service to the rules to cover the organisers of it. Then when people don't socially distance they can say 'not our fault people broke the rules'.

The whole point of a rave is the communal aspect of it. Throw drink and drugs into the mix and people will mix and lose any inhibition. Plus everyone using the same toilets.

Hardly the same as a quiet pint in the dog and duck, or sat in a beer garden for a few drinks.

@BoxhillBertha

Ok, so I've seen the details and it actually looks very well thought out. Tables, one way system, infra red thermometer on arrival, hand sanitiser. Bars though, not table service and obviously people are going to get drunk and off their head ,not dd as obviously she is an angel

It doesn't matter how well thought out it is, a bunch of selfish youth off their heads on drink and drunks are not going to socially distance at all. Anyone who thinks they will I have a bridge to sell you.

"Socially distanced" and"rave" don't belong in the same sentence!

Yes she's an adult but she's living with you and her sibling has asthma and it's completely reasonable to expect a safe return to school to be prioritised. I would say no or she goes back to uni early. If her accommodation starts later, that's her problem to solve.

Thanks all. Still not sure what to do but think I'm going to say no. Might try and have a calm chat tomorrow.

I'm 110% paranoid about dd2 (asthma, a levels, over achiever, anxiety) and dd3 getting back to school and therefore me getting back to work. Even if i am BU im not sure i care at this point. Dj agrees no, and he was a massive raver back in the day so probably very aware of what goes on...

especially as she's back to Leeds in September! Out of sight out of mind...

@annabel85

Sounds like a shit rave.

If it was genuinely socially distanced then who would bother? They only put that on to pay lip service to the rules to cover the organisers of it. Then when people don't socially distance they can say 'not our fault people broke the rules'.

The whole point of a rave is the communal aspect of it. Throw drink and drugs into the mix and people will mix and lose any inhibition. Plus everyone using the same toilets.

Hardly the same as a quiet pint in the dog and duck, or sat in a beer garden for a few drinks.

As a seasoned raver in days gone by, I agree with this^^. There is no way an actual rave will be socially distanced imo. I mean...raving 2 metres apart...sitting at tables? That isn't a rave!

She is 20, an adult, so yes, she can go if she wants, but that doesn't mean she has the right to stay at your house afterwards because she is too tight to pay for her own accommodation. If she accepts your free housing, she has to accept some of the responsibility that goes with that.

They were showing a drive in rave the other night on our local news

It won't be socially distanced. They'll advertise it as such because they need to appear to be sticking to guidelines. Trust me. There have been illegal raves where I live with 100s of people (even through strict lockdown) and the police didn't do anything about it. They won't about this either.

I think she can go to the rave, but not come back to her home with you until she has self isolated for 14 days elsewhere

Is this one of the events in the "gardens" of a club in stokes croft? They organisers aren't calling them "socially distanced raves" as far as I know, that's just your DD. This is essentially just a pub garden with some music playing. They've had brunches, comedy nights, circus performances etc.

I've been to the outdoor pizza restaurant at the same place and I know several people who have been to the music events, including in their 30s and 40s. You can't stand up to dance, there is table service so you don't go up to the bar, you have to wear a mask if you go to the loo inside and there's a one way system for that. Table sittings are only for an hour or two.

It was a bit crowded but all outside and definitely not as crowded as eg the beaches and parks that have been photographed in the press.

However, it sounds like she would probably be sharing a table with people from outside her household, and would she need public transport to get there and back?