Can work force me to ask grandparents to watch the kids?

[Lifeisconfusing]

Iv been furloughed as I have 3 kids at home,dh works away Monday-Friday, so no childcare.

Since 4th July am I right that grandparents can Now look after your children? Problem Iv got is one set have health conditions and feel it’s too soon and the other side work (nurse+teacher) if work call me and tell me Iv got to come back what will I do ? It’s not very clear to me what my rights are. Thanks

@BumbleBeee69 I don’t work (full) time and my dh has only started working away since March.

In the 6 weeks I would usually ask grandparents or holidays club but as per my reasons in op this is not all that possible

Maybe the other set of grandparents Haverhill other set of grandparents she has (teacher/nurse) maybe they've said no? With one being a nurse maybe they don't want to come into contact with her children yet due to working on the frontline. And the teacher grandparent, will still be working up until the school holidays so if her employer wants her back before then she's stuck?

We don't know the ins and outs of It but childcare is hard to find at the best of times let alone during a pandemic.

@ResumetonormalASAP you sound lovely.

I was working from home actually but work decided to furlough me I didn’t choose!!! I never said it was easy for anyone,I simply came on here for advice for childcare etc!! With the new rules it can be confusing.

Key workers have had childcare at school which I obviously can’t have!! I absolutely know it must be very hard for them and I respect them. You sound awfully bitter

Will they let you work from home now then if you did before? Or at least split your time with home and work

There are a lot of us who are not key workers who get a place in school and have worked throughout with kids running around. It's been hellish, and that's why after 3 months we sound a bit tetchy.

Should be working right now to make up for lost time in the week (DH entertaining right now), but out of motivation...

OP have you spoken to your employer? If you worked from home previously then they may agree to that again? You’ve had lots of helpful advice on here are you closer to a solution?

tbh I think the restrictions (in England, not so sure of other nations) around childcare will just mean that childcare providers restrict the number of children they have, potentially don't open (holiday clubs) or will run day to day with extra procedures.

So (other than asking to be furloughed) your options are the same as any other year if your parents had been unable to look after the children

• take parental leave (both parents)
• ask for flexible working (both parents) so you can cover more of the time yourselves
• use a holiday club
• use a childminder
• employ a nanny/au-pair
• some sort of "child swapping" with another parent - this will be currently restricted by maximum of 2 households inside at one time.

Lots of parents don't have the luxury of grandparents taking on so much childcare, so I suspect some of the answers are because these parents have this issue every year (yes, this year it's exacerbated by reduced childcare options but equally there are fewer people looking for childcare, but it's basically still the same problem).

@Enchanted19 thanks for your understanding.
I want to get back to work,I want routine!having 3 kids all day every day hasn’t been easy and it’s time to go back.

I just wanted advice on childcare thanks for everyone’s input and I respect everyone who’s been struggling.

@RedskyAtnight yeah your right.

Lots of holiday clubs are now running near me and seem to be about £20 a day for 9-3.
A student babysitting would be your cheapest option though especially as your dc aren’t babies.

Other than that I would request wfh or holiday/unpaid parental leave.

@MinesAPintOfTea I totally understand it’s just when people start to get nasty like assuming I decided to go on furlough and sunbath in the garden which isn’t true.

I hope your work would be understanding.

If they ask you to return you have four choices

1. Explain your situation to your employer and Ask them to extend furlough. Don't forget most employers are struggling and they will be under no obligations to do this.
2. Ask for unpaid leave/ holidays. There is a statutory right for unpaid leave to care for children.
3. Find childcare
4. Resign.

I assume working from home isn't an option.

Hope you find a solution, it's challenging.

Agree it’s not furloughed workers’ fault that they’re off and also appreciate ‘normal’ holiday fiver arrangements are, for a lot of people, simply not available. For us, in holidays, we used Mix of grandparents (now shielding), holiday club (not running, had our refund this week as the booking from Easter was rolled over) and annual leave.

But having worked FT throughout this (from home) with primary DC not back in school, have already taken substantial annual leave to get by so far, and I have now taken two days unpaid leave from now til Sep when hopefully schools go back for all. So OP I do sympathise, but you are now coming up against the same issues so many workers have been facing for months and therefore may have to consider using unpaid (if allowed) or annual leave to get through summer if cannot find other options.

Lifeisconfusing - I totally understand it’s just when people start to get nasty like assuming I decided to go on furlough and sunbath in the garden which isn’t true.

I think people who have managed to work throughout and manage childcare are just frustrated now there are a number of posts springing up from furloughed employees suggesting that it’s not a possible option for them and that they can’t get back to work. You need to look at solutions to the obstacles as others have had to.

What does DH say? Can he take some time off work? Why are you the only one that has to sort it all out?

Are you able to WFH? The difficulty will be that if your employer needs someone to do the work, regardless of who's paying for you to be furloughed the work needs doing. Finding someone to cover you temporarily may be difficult or unsuitable depending on what you do. You might be putting your job at risk in the future if you can't find a way to go back when they ask you to even if they are prepared to underwrite the employer part of the furlough scheme.

It's a terrible situation all round. Loads of school holiday schemes will not be running this year so many people will be in your position unfortunately.

[quote Lifeisconfusing]@MinesAPintOfTea I totally understand it’s just when people start to get nasty like assuming I decided to go on furlough and sunbath in the garden which isn’t true.[/quote]
I completely believe you've been working hard with young kids and stuck at home. And I wouldn't choose furlough either: those of my colleagues who are on furlough who I know well enough to discuss things with are terrified that redundancy follows. It's all shit, for everyone.

@Lifeisconfusing if your work can be done from home would it be possible for you to work over 5 days from home whilst employing some to help with childcare? Again this could be temporary and it would be advisable for your DH to take some leave to share the childcare load.

I assumed that wfh was not possible but if it is then that is a good option to ask if your employers would allow that.

Childcare person gives them breakfast and lunch, hopefully can take them out for an hour or so. Basically all they need to do is stop them disturbing you during your working hours. Ok so it may be loads of screen time but ultimately the other option is resigning which seems unnecessary before exploring other options!

This thread has made me wonder whether there might be opportunities for my student daughter when she comes home in a couple of weeks.

She's not a registered childminder, obviously, but does have a DBS certificate from voluntary work she has been doing in a secondary school and also has experience of working with primary aged children in summer schools in previous years.

I'll suggest she has a look round. It's not what she was playing to do this summer, but that has been cancelled!

I think you should do proper research asap. Don't leave it till Monday. In our area holiday clubs are running but only for children at the school.

If you are serious about keeping your job you need to get over the 'I couldn't possibly leave my DC with a stranger' thing'. 3 DC is perfect for a nanny. Try childcare.co.uk, sitters.com, koru kids (latter London only). Obviously take up references.

I'm still furloughed. I have a severely disabled young adult daughter at home. Her existing carer is no longer available due to health issues, the only local holiday club for disabled children/young people has closed down and no family help available. Agencies charge over double what I earn. I will have to find some solution but it certainly isn't easy!

Can you team up with other parents to share childcare, you offering it the days you aren't working? This might be your only option if there's nothing available.

If you are serious about keeping your job you need to get over the 'I couldn't possibly leave my DC with a stranger' thing'. 3 DC is perfect for a nanny.

I'm afraid I agree with this. Is it ideal? Absolutely not. Everyone would love to leave their kids only with people they trust 100% and who they know love them almost as much as you do and know are personally invested in their happiness and development. But plenty of people don't even have grandparents to use as childcare and they get by.

The majority of students back home from university are more than capable of keeping 3 kids alive and well for 8 hours. As are many people who continue to be on furlough because their company don't want them back yet or they work in an industry that is still closed. They might not have childcare qualifications (many will have first aid though from things like life guarding) and your kids may not be doing stimulating educational activities all day, they even may be a bit bored sometimes. But they'll be safe and cared for. And if you're job says you need to come back really you have to or take some kind of leave. You can't expect them to contribute to your furlough when they don't want you to be because they have work for you to do. Start looking for childcare options right now, because even if they're not ideal (teenagers or a different person every few days ect) they are more ideal than you losing your job. Kids are resilient, they'll get through with carers who they aren't bonded with, but it will massively affect their lives long term if their mum loses her job.

OP I agree... if you usually work from home.. then formally request that you continue to do so...

Looking from employers perspective its. to their problem. if you can't attend work then you cannot expect to be paid so a straight choice unpaid time off or resign. I know this sounds harsh but why should they make a special case for you other employees would doubtless resent this.