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Original poster

Can work force me to ask grandparents to watch the kids?

172 replies

Lifeisconfusing · 04/07/2020 21:40

Iv been furloughed as I have 3 kids at home,dh works away Monday-Friday, so no childcare.

Since 4th July am I right that grandparents can Now look after your children? Problem Iv got is one set have health conditions and feel it’s too soon and the other side work (nurse+teacher) if work call me and tell me Iv got to come back what will I do ? It’s not very clear to me what my rights are. Thanks

OP posts:
PMTRex · 04/07/2020 23:04

Both you and your husband can request parental leave - up to 4 weeks per year per child. it's unpaid and you have a legal right to have it although if your employers can't release you on the dates you have requested they can give you it on an alternative date. You have to request it a certain amount of time in advance though.

You can both request to take annual leave or work flexibly (eg different days, hours, part time, different location, from home) on a temporary or permanent basis.

I think you need to sit down with your partner ASAP and come up with a proposal where BOTH of you make some adjustments and then you BOTH talk to your respective employers

I know he works away in the week but that doesn't absolve him from all holiday childcare and playing his part. He can request annual leave, parental leave, unpaid leave or flexible working to help out.

LemonTT · 04/07/2020 23:06

The father can take leave. I don’t see why other family, your employers or the state has to do something before he does. What is his solution to all this?

ShutUpaYourFace · 04/07/2020 23:16

I'm back on Monday 5 days a week (was working 3) and partner has just been called off furlough so he's been doing the school work and childcare. My youngest 5 is back in reception but my yr 3 (8y) is home. I have no choice to ask the grandparents. My mum is recovering from cancer surgery and my in-laws are both over 70 with various conditions. They would usually take them in the holidays with me and partner taking our annual leave to break up the time. It's really not my employers problem but currently there are no clubs running at the schools over summer and wrap around care is also off until Sep. I'm lucky our parents have agreed but they weren't as enthusiastic as they usually would be, I know they are worried. You can only ask them if they mind helping or maybe find a child-minder? We've worked out a rota today and everyone seems happy. Not everyone has the luxury of grandparents or even a job! I feel very lucky I've got people willing to put their health at risk to help us.

BumbleBeee69 · 04/07/2020 23:29

Am I the only person confused Confused

what did you do with your Children prior to Lockdown/Furlough ? Your DH still worked away Mon/Fri ... you still worked full time ? so what were your provisions prior to this crisis ?

Apologies if I've missed the reasons upthread....

good luck OP Flowers

ResumetonormalASAP · 04/07/2020 23:35

All these people sitting around doing bugger all and now have to work for their money.... some of us have been working throughout ...suddenly they are crawling out of the woodwork tonight .... moaning and whinging...want more furlough...I can't do this that and the other...

Whilst others have been WFH, childcare, home school and slogging away for months....Oh dear!

OP it's NOT TOO SOON .... the res of us have been getting on with it... time to rejoin the working population again

okiedokieme · 04/07/2020 23:49

They can insist you return (you you could use annual leave, parental leave or quit) your childcare woes aren't their problem. Holiday schemes are running from Monday. What do you normally do? The furlough scheme is being wound down gradually from now

okiedokieme · 04/07/2020 23:52

Can I suggest a university student to watch the kids, both my DD's are watching/homeschooling kids currently, they get £50 a day (more from the family who had long commutes) plus the family provide food, and money for ice creams at the park etc

Mumratheevergiving · 05/07/2020 00:01

Explore alternative childcare options as suggested above (there are more becoming available than previously in lockdown). I do understand is it hard as I've been wfh with my Yr3 at home and my Yr6 recently part time in school. I will be working & covering summer with annual leave, holiday clubs & may ask family to come & help (if rates remain ok in community). My husband runs a business and from an employers point of view if everyone continued to be furloughed there simply won't be all the jobs to return to in Autumn. Hopefully businesses will pick up and those not furloughed are going to be carrying your workload or if they can manage without you then you may find yourself facing redundancy. You've got to take a longer term perspective on this too. As taxpayers we are all going to be paying for the furlough scheme for a long time & people now need to come off it & return to their jobs where possible and childcare IS now possible (even if it's not your usual or preferred option).

Time2change2 · 05/07/2020 00:03

@ResumetonormalASAP this! I know it’s a bit mean but this is how I feel. Been literally at my wits end for months with both me and DH WFH and 3 primary kids- none been able to go back to school (not the right years) it’s been absolute hell and will continue to be over the summer.
I have no grandparents help even before COVID! Holiday clubs for 3 cost more than a days wage! And no, I didn’t ask for 3 as I had unexpected twins! Now all these people who are like ‘ahhh the grandparents won’t help!’ This is my world all the time!

Mybrowneyedgal · 05/07/2020 00:09

Can't the grandparent who is a teacher have them in school holidays? You could take unpaid carers leave or use your annual leave until then?
Sorry you're getting a hard time on here. This is a hard situation, I think lots of people don't understand how hard it is for those of us who were lucky enough to have family to support us with childcare and now suddenly that support has gone. Not all of us can afford childcare. And no that is let the employers problem, but that doesn't stop it being a problem.

Mybrowneyedgal · 05/07/2020 00:10

That should have said "and no it's not the employers problem"

giggly · 05/07/2020 00:11

OP you didn’t answer the question about the grandparent who is a teacher. Surely in these extraordinary times they would help outHmm

BumbleBeee69 · 05/07/2020 00:12

I think lots of people don't understand how hard it is for those of us who were lucky enough to have family to support us with childcare and now suddenly that support has gone. Not all of us can afford childcare

which begs the original question... what would OP have done during the summer holidays ? pre-covid .. why is nobody answering this question? Confused

LemonTT · 05/07/2020 00:15

Lots of people do understand the issue of getting childcare this summer and in the past. We are asking if the father understands the problem and why isn’t he doing anything about it.

BumbleBeee69 · 05/07/2020 00:19

it's still not answering the question though right .... between both parents... what is the norm... Flowers

Discobar · 05/07/2020 00:26

People are so wound up by furlough on hereGrin as its a large company i expect you'll be fine until Septrmber, maybe until end of October.

Discobar · 05/07/2020 00:27

These explain it all

Can work force me to ask grandparents to watch the kids?
Can work force me to ask grandparents to watch the kids?
PineconeOfDoom · 05/07/2020 00:32

It says employees with caring responsibilities can be furloughed, not that they should be furloughed. If the employee is needed back at work, there’s no requirement for the business to continue to furlough them for childcare reasons. Furlough has never been a ‘right’ for the employee.

Heyhih3 · 05/07/2020 00:36

It seems OP needs to find out when she should be back at work first.

@BumbleBeee69 I agree.

Discobar · 05/07/2020 00:37

yes that what it says. The OP says she works for a large company. In my experience, large companies HR will look to do what they can for an employee. I think the OP will be fine until September - at the least.

Mumratheevergiving · 05/07/2020 00:40

Discobar People are so wound up by furlough on here Grin as its a large company i expect you'll be fine until Septrmber, maybe until end of October

Yes that's right Discobar, companies normally have employees as props and don't actually need them to do any work for the company to run successfully!

Many people have continued to work and have done so while balancing their own childcare which has often involved compromises - we know it's not a walk in the park. Should people furloughed due to childcare now ride it out on the state until Autumn term? Or should they look at childcare options for the summer like the rest of the working population has to?

DateLoaf · 05/07/2020 00:43

People are posting as though holiday clubs etc are open as normal. They are not. They have to do social distancing and all the other precautions and many don’t have the space or staff available because they are in vulnerable groups for whatever reason they are not running normally if at all. Same for childminders. I feel working parents with school age kids have been completely ignored in the push to reopen businesses. Schools are closed, and normal summer holiday cover is unavailable. What are parents supposed to do? We can’t all work from home in our jobs and even if we can, that’s working, it’s not looking after our kids so many of us are at home with them we’re leaving them unsupervised to work.
Feeling your pain OP.

wohmum · 05/07/2020 00:43

Are there any local families with late teenagers, uni students who could come round and look after them? Even childcare college students? I did that with my 2,for a while and it’s worked well and yours are old enough to tell you how their days are

madwoman1ntheattic · 05/07/2020 00:45

She said the grandparents would usually provide care in the holidays. But they feel it’s ‘too soon’.
And she’s not comfortable with a sitter. (Despite fully certified young adults on teaching programs with first aid and lifeguard qualifications who work and volunteer with kids in term time seeming to be a win win situation in both sides).
Mostly, she doesn’t want to go back to work.
And yes. I’m getting bit peeved at all the handwringing. We’ve also been slugging our guys out wfh ft, while the other 75% of our staff are given 80% of their wages to suntan and garden and take a little walk and eat ice cream with the kids.
Jealous? No shit. I can’t even take vacation as there is no one to cover me.
The utter lack of interest in finding a solution to all these seeming insurmountable problems is boggling. Particularly when it essentially boils down to ‘oh I don’t really want to hire a sitter/ childminder/ student’.
Then take unpaid time off or resign. Really. Plenty of people who are willing to work.

DateLoaf · 05/07/2020 00:46

Should have said ‘many of us are at home with them but we’re leaving them unsupervised to work’. (As in attention has to on the work from home, rather than on the kids at home)

I don’t mean leaving the kids at home and going out to work..

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