This isn’t short term, is it? :(

[laura081008]

I’ve really had enough.

I’ve been stuck in my house since March.
My baby was 5 weeks old at the start of lockdown she’s now 19 weeks old!!

A history of health anxiety and ocd mixed with post natal anxiety and a pandemic Had really taken its toll on me.

Since March we’ve been to the Drs 3 times for vaccinations, we’ve driven to our parents and seen them through the car and we’ve been on lots of walks.
That’s it.....

We’ve not been to any shops or supermarkets.

I’ve still yet to pluck up the courage to have a socially distanced garden meet / park walk.

My husband returned to work 4 weeks ago (wfh) so it’s just me and DD during the day.

I’m starting to feel so down. I’m desperate to get out and have some sort of normality, but my fear of Covid are stopping me.

I honestly thought after lockdown that things would have improved, or if they hadn’t, we’d stay locked down for longer.
I didn’t expect to be going to restaurants and having to take these precautions.

I love the cinema but just couldn’t imagine being able to relax and enjoy a film under these circumstances.

I really don’t think this is just a short term measure and it worries me things will be like this for much, much longer.

I just don’t know how I’m going to live my life like this.

I know I have to for my baby girl, but being ill and taken away from her absolutely petrifies me :(

I’m running out of ideas of things to do at home and most mornings now I’m waking up feeling teary, down and with little motivation.

I hate this new “normal”.

if you have a minute get back to me.

[quote Deblou43]@wilodene I am screwed then as I am overweight petrified now [/quote]
Sorry if I made you feel bad. Obviously not all overweight people will die of covid, to put it into perspective around 35% of the UK popultion is overweight, but obviously 35% of people who get covid do not die from it.

@Howaboutanewname

Psoriasis is not known to be a significant risk factor, is it?

Not to increase OP’s fears, but did want to correct this in case anyone else reading this was unaware. Psoriasis is an autoimmune condition and autoimmune conditions are a risk factor - the one constantly mentioned is type 1 diabetes.

OK - I did not know that.

it is not true at all that autoimmune conditions as a whole are a higher risk factor, there has been specific research on this. Diabetes is a risk factor, not because type 1 is autoimmune. In fact, part of the discoveries of the treatments for Covid were doctors specialising in autoimmune diseases such as IBD and RA waiting for the deluge and not getting it and realising that their anti inflammatory meds were often majorly helpful.

@Megatron Statistics I used are from Prof David Spiegelhalter, Uni Cambridge
Here if you scroll down a bit:

https://medium.com/wintoncentre/what-are-the-risks-of-covid-and-what-is-meant-by-the-risks-of-covid-c828695aea69

He's recently recalculated from the latest ONS data that COVID is even more age-dependent than than that:

risk of death doubles with every 5-6 years of age
So even lower comparative risk for the young compared to those older

https://www.sciencemediacentre.org/expert-reaction-to-latest-ons-stats-on-deaths-in-england-and-wales-up-to-week-ending-12-june-2020/

" I am screwed then as I am overweight petrified now"

@Deblou43 NHS statistics indicate that being up to BMI 30 does not increase risk

Even being very obese only increases the risk to that of someone a few years older

Anyone young - even overweight / with T1 / asthma etc - has v low risk of dying from COVID

unless they have the most serious type of health conditions that produce an official shielding letter.

Thank you @BigChocFrenzy I'll have a read of those.

I can see that Type 1 has been mentioned on this thread. My DD has type 1 so I was feeling quite concerned about how often I was seeing it mentioned in the media and spoke to her consultant at the hospital. Both she and DDs pediatric diabetic specialist nurse said that, in many cases, poorly controlled blood sugars over a number of years has led to other conditions which put someone more at risk from CoVID 19 rather than just having T1 itself. It should be said that diabetics can also have great control and still unfortunately develop complications but these complications put someone more at risk.

Bless you totally understandable but I think you need to get help for your anxiety as it's stopping you living your life.

@Deblou43 please bear in mind although someone with a BMI of 30 is classed as obese (just), a BMI of 40 is likely to be much more of a problem and only then if ventilation is needed as it's harder to ventilate someone who is 'morbidly obese'. It doesn't mean that all people who are obese would need ventilation in the first place, the numbers are still fairly small comparatively speaking.

You have a very similar cluster of health issues to me - I am on methotrexate though, so I wonder if it would help you know what I feel comfortable doing at present. I've looked at the number of cases in the community, so tried to do a balanced risk assessment.

I'm happy to sit outside with friends. I'm also happy to go for walks with them. This made a huge difference to how I felt.

I've recently returned to supermarkets and shops. I wear a face mask. At first that made me anxious, but it was more the 'what do I do' worry. So a friend talked me through what it was like. It's actually ok.

I've booked an outdoor table at a quiet pub I trust for in a couple of weeks time.

The more I did things, the easier it became. It's ok if it's not easy to start with.

In terms of PND, I think that the pandemic and the subsequent social isolation will have created a perfect situation for this to develop. You can have a perfect life, a perfect baby and PND will still strike some. It's not a failing to develop it, it's just a bastard bugger thing that some people get. You are doing brilliantly to be recognising it and be seeking help when your baby is so young.

It won't always feel this way. One day you'll be taking your beautiful little girl to the park to play, you'll be meeting up with people in coffee shops and this horridness will have passed.

Please speak to your GP again, it’s really important that you speak to somebody who knows your medical history and can really assess your mental health right now. As I said, my sister has drastically improved since taking medication. She actually laughed at the idea she had ever believed some of the things she was crying about before. That’s how far she’s come in quite a short space of time? I know it all seems completely real to you right now, but your risk is very, very small from what you’ve mentioned here. You are incorrectly assessing that risk because of your mental state. You have a child now and you sound like a great mum, so why don’t you reframe being the best mum you can be as also taking care of your mental health so you can better cope with the demands of motherhood?

If you don't want to put her down and are reluctant to put her in the pram for a walk OP, how about getting a baby carrier? My DS1 lived in his Ergo for much of his first year to 18 months of life. I found it comfortable to wear and I could chat to him and reassure him and he slept in it too.

The one I had was the Original: ergobaby.co.uk/baby-carrier and it's really comfortable to wear, because the baby's weight is carried on your hips.

You've had some good advice here. 100% try some socially distanced garden meet ups, it really does refresh you. We do this with my shielding parents and my best friend with our kids who play 'together' but social distance (each have their own toys on a blanket, but they're 6 & 7 so aware of distancing needs!).

You will feel very protective of your baby, that's a Mum thing, but it does ease and change.

My friend has social distanced walks with other friends carrying baby in a Sling.

Depends how you define short term. I just hope things are back to normal by next Spring/Summer and next year isn't a write off.

I have a baby of a similar age and have anxiety, so I do understand. What has helped me is to keep getting out of the house.

Are there any National Trust properties near you? You can book for lots of these and they’re taking distancing seriously, hence needing to book in advance. Might be a change of scene? We are trying to reframe this as a chance to get to know our local area better and are trying to find a couple of new outdoor places to visit each week.

For shops, I find the easiest ones to distance in are either big shops like Homebase where the staff are controlling numbers, or small shops like bakeries where you can see from outside how busy it is and they limit numbers inside. I haven’t been to a big supermarket in person since March (very lucky) but I am going to shops now when I need to. Maybe start with a small shop where you know the layout?

I’m also starting to do things like get a takeaway coffee and drink it in the park while baby naps - it feels more “normal” and that does help.

Thanks everyone.

@zafferana I have a few different slings but I haven’t mastered how to feed in them, so I’ve ordered a ring sling as this looks much easier to feed.

DD likes to feed to sleep / nap.

I had my mum over in the garden yesterday for a few hours and I do feel my mood has definitely lifted today.

The fact that it’s also the weekend and i DH won’t be at work for two days is making me feel much better too.

I’m worried about speaking to my GP as I don’t want them to judge me or feel like I’m not coping as a mum.

I am coping. I don’t doubt my ability as a good mum, but the anxiety is eating away at me.
My fear of Covid, fear of the outside world, fear of death.

My OCD is snowballing. It’s like a bully. 😔

Gp won't judge you. Many many new mums struggle with this and they will have seen it before. How good is your hv, could they suggest online support perhaps?

I had a baby early may and had been in my house (other than midwives appointments) since early March. Going out for the first time after that was difficult but the more I did it the easier it became.

Please try to go out gradually over the next couple of weeks. It does soon become normal.

You have to remember this time will pass. The virus will go.
I've been meeting up with my mum in her garden my DS is 11 months old.
It helps me to look at figures.
In my area there were no reported cases of COVID between 10-23rd and since there has only been 1.

Sorry, I posted too early.

I wanted to say I suffer from anxiety too and it was a struggle. Even just going out for a regular walk then building up to a trip to a shop with the baby or whatever next step feels right.

I’ve also felt incredible sadness about the fact no one has really met our baby. I’ve cried about it often. Times are so strange.

@IcyApril

Sorry, I posted too early.

I wanted to say I suffer from anxiety too and it was a struggle. Even just going out for a regular walk then building up to a trip to a shop with the baby or whatever next step feels right.

I’ve also felt incredible sadness about the fact no one has really met our baby. I’ve cried about it often. Times are so strange.

It’s so sad isn’t it. I get super paranoid that my baby won’t know what other babies are!!!😔

Many years ago, I wnet through something similar ( but with out the pandemic bit) You are doing brilliantly, however a part of this wretched thing PND,is a distortion in thinking. I recall thinking if I said anything " somebody" would take the children away. " Everybody " would know and so on. These thoughts are distortions.

If you had 2 broken legs, would you just carry on and fear that " people" would think you are a bad mother? No, so contact the GP. They know what they are doing.

Hey Laura. You are doing so well. Postnatal depression and anxiety are very real and serious illnesses that new mothers can struggle with, even without the added pressure of a pandemic!

I'd second what others have said about speaking to you GP and considering medication. The risks with bf ing are minimal with some medications. I took sertraline for PND and it made such a difference. Your GP can also refer you to perinatal mental health team, usually for up to 12 months after birth.

Also, it is not normal for a 4 month old not to nap in the day at all, I think some advice regarding that from health visitor or sleep consultant or even Mumsnet, could really help you. I'm wondering if there is some underlying cause like silent reflux that is affecting your DDs ability to settle.

I dont think your health conditions are that risky for covid. I have a relative at an old folks home. Several of the inmates as I call them had tested positive for covid near the start of it all and they all lived. Dont be so negative.