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Covid

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Original poster

Can’t keep going any longer. Handing in notice.

77 replies

Tethersend01 · 14/06/2020 20:30

After 3 month of trying to juggle WFH as a specialist Nurse, with caring for two kids neither of who is ‘easy’ and my husband being at work 50+ hours per week, I have finally reached my breaking point. Can’t do anything well enough and my mental health is now suffering badly.
Kids not getting any semblance of ‘homeschooling’ and with no prospect of a return to school anytime soon I am done in.
The NHS will have one less experienced nurse in one of most challenging and short staffed specialities but I feel its leave or have a breakdown myself. Im sure I’m not the only one.

OP posts:

Uhoh2020 · 14/06/2020 20:40

I cant tell you how many times I have nearly quit in the past few months I honestly dont know what has kept me going it's so so hard.
How old are your children? Can you get key worker places for them in school? Do you have any family who can help you out even if its only a few hours here and there?

Uhoh2020 · 14/06/2020 20:42

Also speak to your line manager take some annual leave and then reassess.

Butterflystar76 · 14/06/2020 20:43

Can you access key worker provision? X

DC3dilemma · 14/06/2020 20:46

I’m getting there too. NHS Consultant, as is DH. 3 kids. We couldn’t use keyworker hub as middle child has fairly severe combined ADHD and wouldn’t have coped with the rules, nor was there any ASN support.

We’ve been juggling, juggling, juggling between me, DH and 1.5 days of our childminder (actually re-deployed our cleaner). But if part-time schooling is the next thing and that’s going to be long-ish term, I think I’m done. Particularly as I doubt that there’s going to be adequate consideration for ASN kids. Never saw myself as a SAHP, but I’ve run out of steam and alternative solutions.

Mouthfulofquiz · 14/06/2020 20:46

I feel the same op. My kids school said very clearly that even if you are a key worker, if you are working from home then you must have your children at home too. My husband has a job that means he must be onsite each day, my job can be done from home (mostly).. while looking after multiple kids. To say I am mentally frazzled is an understatement and I work part time, around 26 hours per week, not even full time!! There has been very little home schooling going on, and it has been a huge struggle.

DustyD2 · 14/06/2020 20:47

I'm NHS and in therapies, and I totally understand how you feel! Using the keyworker childcare just about saved all our sanity, can you get a space?

If not look into a career break or parental leave. I think you can take 13 weeks unpaid parental leave per child, then you maintain your job when schools reopen to all children

Bmidreams · 14/06/2020 20:48

Why not try something more temporary like parental leave or a career break?

TriangleBingoBongo · 14/06/2020 20:48

I’m so sorry to read this. But I totally understand. I was in this place two weeks ago. Fortunately my DS has been able to go to a childminder and I have found my sanity. Have you tried speaking with your line manager? I’m sure you have so sorry to patronise.

bloated1977 · 14/06/2020 20:48

Can you not send them to school under the keyworker positions?

Knobblybobbly · 14/06/2020 20:49

You sound utterly burnt out. Would you consider taking some time off sick, work on your mental health and then revisit the work situation.

newmumwithquestions · 14/06/2020 20:49

As pp, why aren’t you accessing key worker childcare? Why is this all on you - why can’t your husband split childcare? What would happen if he didn’t do those hours?

Leave if you would be happier in the long run but not if you’ll regret it.

Can you take any holiday to give you an easier week soon?

TriangleBingoBongo · 14/06/2020 20:52

@newmumwithquestions I don’t know if this is the same for OP, but I was told that you can only access key worker childcare if you’re not WFH.

ohthegoats · 14/06/2020 20:54

At this point it's get ANYONE in to help right? A relative? An au pair? A nanny? Screw the rules.

We struggled too - I didn't get a place for my child as a key worker (even though I am one), so was teaching from home/in and out of school covering own key worker kids classes, partner was working from home (he's on calls about 80% of the day), and we were doing no home schooling whatsoever. My child is only interested now in screens. Just whines from 8am onwards about wanting to watch TV.

Eventually I phoned the head and got a place as a key worker child. In the end she didn't need it because her year group went back, but it was close there.

Your kids are the very definition of key worker and vulnerable - they can get someone in to support him/her, we had to.

For September we've already asked grandparents to come down - we're going to share the rental of an airbnb with them, so they can be around from September - December. They are late 60s, so it's not ideal, but there isn't an alternative.

I honestly don't think there will be part time schooling in England in September, and even if there is, it will be VERY short term. So you've got short term options - stress leave and so on?

ohthegoats · 14/06/2020 20:56

I was told that you can only access key worker childcare if you’re not WFH

That's not really the guidance though. Just lie.

We've had a police bods daughter in our key worker group the whole time - she's been in every day. Her mum (single, copper) is working from home the whole time, and her older sister is also at home (late teens). Totally didn't need it, has been bored to tears, but still.

DustyD2 · 14/06/2020 20:56

When I work from home doing my clinics I have to guarantee a totally private space with no interruptions, which can't be done with primary aged kids. Either tell the school that or just don't tell them you are working from home?

Original poster

Tethersend01 · 14/06/2020 20:56

Hi All and thanks for the replies. So sorry for everyone else finding themselves in this situation.

My younger child has a keyworker place twomdays per week which was to enable me to do some essential face to face work, however he has become increasingly distressed with going to school as he is the only one from his year group and usually the only child in the after school club full stop. Every day its a distressing battle getting him in.
On too of that i feel completely alienated from the school since getting an email from them basically ripping my child and me to shreds for his ‘underachievement’ on the remote learning platform. I think that is the factor which tipped me over the edge.

OP posts:

Fortyfifty · 14/06/2020 20:57

Can you get extended leave?

Wishforanishwishdiash · 14/06/2020 20:59

I considered quitting last week and instead we are hiring an army of university students for childcare.

It is expensive, but less so than the long term prospects of me giving up my career.

But it is a sticky plaster on a gaping wound. I may not last the year.

user1471462428 · 14/06/2020 21:04

I’ve resigned as a nurse..have a long term health condition which I got redeployed for a Christmas but when covid kicked I was deployed back to a ward. My condition is worse with stress and I was shaking so much I couldn’t put food in my mouth. I have preschooler and a primary age kid but her school refused her a place so I resigned. I’m waiting for tax credit and the estimate is exactly what I was earning before so why bother! Going to enjoy being at home with my babies. It’s been so difficult being a single working parent so I’m going to enjoy this time!

frumpety · 14/06/2020 21:06

I have had the snotty email about the school work too, and its another thing to add to the I am failing at this list ! Ask yourself , how many hours of actual teaching has your child had since schools closed ? Mine hasn't had any, has yours ?

newmumwithquestions · 14/06/2020 21:07

On too of that i feel completely alienated from the school since getting an email from them basically ripping my child and me to shreds for his ‘underachievement’ on the remote learning platform. I think that is the factor which tipped me over the edge.

That’s rough OP. Bet they bloody clap to show appreciation yet have no ruddy idea the position you’re in or offer you support.

I know this doesn’t help you but if it’s any consolation I did no home schooling with mine. They’re young so it doesn’t matter in my opinion. But I had to turn the school WhatsApp group off as all the messages of what everyone else was doing stressed me out. I was making sure they were fed and alive. That was all I was capable of! (working from home here)

DustyD2 · 14/06/2020 21:08

I had that too. My child was the only one from their year in one day of the week and came out really upset. I spoke to the school, and another day had 5 kids in so I swapped my clinic day. Can you see if others go on a different day and change the days he goes and your face to face day?

Lianarose · 14/06/2020 21:09

I'm sorry to hear this OP. I second thinking about other options. Can you be signed off for a few weeks to give you some space? How old are your DC?

winterisstillcoming · 14/06/2020 21:12

Same here. NHS dentist. Waiting for my contract to be terminated. Kids going to school but only until 3:30 so I'm relying on a friends daughter picking them up from a social distance and taking them to the park. DH is a key worker and doesn't get home until 7pm.

I'm looking at my career option

winterisstillcoming · 14/06/2020 21:13

Posted too soon.

Looking at my skills and career options.

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