Is everyone using grandparents for childcare now?

[UnicornAndSparkles]

We've reached our limit. 2 parents juggling working from home and looking after our 2 yr old. Both in professional jobs that require concentration, which is difficult at the best of times, but with a 2 yr old at home constantly for 12 weeks its becoming impossible.

Usually DD goes nursery 3 days a week whilst I work. Nursery is still closed.

Everyone we know is either using their parents (grandparents) or nursery for childcare. Does everyone you know do this?

Are we wrong to consider asking our parents to help us? Both sets live close by but until now we have seen them only twice and maintained social distance. Both sets are in their late 60s/early 70s. We would be so grateful even for just a day of help to enable us to work.

[ginsparkles]

We haven't been, but my Mum is now allowed to be part of our bubble and I return to work soon, so she will be having my DD which I work.

[GoingBackTo505]

Yes, we are. My parents had DS one day a week pre lockdown and they said they were happy to have him again when nursery opened again, so he's been the past 2 weeks. They are late 40's/early 50's though and probably in better health than me.

[chocolatesweets]

Yes I am. We have two under two and mil and fil are late 60s. Everyone's mental health is suffering. It will do a world of good for everyone. I do respect the virus. But it's one thing to take precautions and another thing to stop living. This virus and other viruses are not going to go away. It might mutate. Are you going to wait 2 years?

[MindyStClaire]

@CountFosco

No. They live hours away (and in Scotland so no bubbles there). DH and I are working shifts round each other so we can do homeschooling and work.

You can WFH, only have 1 small child that presumably still naps and goes to bed in the early evening, you've just got to keep going. Take some annual leave if you are getting tired.

Wfh while caring for small children just isn't the answer any more. That was a short term stopgap, we've gone beyond that now.

Under normal circumstances, if you told your employer you'd wfh while looking after your toddler or homeschooling your older children, your employer wouldn't stand for it (and you'd be lynched on MN).

We're at three months now. Those of us who are wfh need childcare too, and our kids need education. Wfh with children at home simply isn't sustainable any more.

[justtheonethen]

We aren't. I would like to though as wfh is impossible at the moment. Someone upthread said their MP said it was fine- that's not the response I got this week from mine. I've cropped names etc out. Very annoying as I was hoping to show it to my mum as proof it's ok to

[HeyBlaby]

For people who face debt, bankruptcy and loss of their home vs using willing grandparents for childcare, most of them will pick the latter.

[Millicent10]

I think it is reasonable for people to do their own risk assessment, I know young healthy grandparents that are looking after grandchildren on sunny days when they can play and eat outside. IMO it is unfair to even ask any grandparent that is older or has any health condition as they may feel obligated but also at risk.

[geojojo]

I don't know any who are openly. Most of my peers have parents in late 60s/70s though so they're more vulnerable. Also most nurseries and childminders seem to be open.

[tappitytaptap]

Nurseries and childminders might be open but what if you used a mixture of these and grandparents (lots of people I know) - where do the extra places come from not to mention families suddenly expected to find all the extra money?

[peppapigisscottish]

No, my parents would refuse even if I was prepared to ask them.

[TokenGinger]

We've been using my mum from (almost) day 1. I was on maternity leave until mid-April and then began back working from home.

We had very little choice. Our choices were unpaid leave or use our annual leave. Mum is on furlough, lives alone, and is mid-50s and has no underlying health conditions.

She comes here in a morning, watches DS until tea time, then goes home. So whilst we've technically been breaking the rules, I'm not sure there's been any increased risk as a result of this. It's basically the equivalent of her having moved in with us for the duration of lockdown, but she goes home to her empty house at night time to sleep.

[peppapigisscottish]

My parents are doing my childcare. However they are 49 and 51

They are younger than me and I'm working full time with primary age children!

[Dontrainonmyparade]

Chance would be a fine thing. Ours live (hundreds of) miles away. I haven’t even seen my parents since February. Having said that, I only have term time childcare - standard plan being to spend summer close to family and use grandparents for childcare. That seems to be pretty much off the cards for this year so I guess we have to just get by till September.

[AhGoGo]

Scotland.

Looks like I’m going to be back to work before nursery’s are open again, so yes.

[PopcornAndWine]

We are. DD going to DH's mum for a couple of hours a day. They live next door. We're all low risk and they offered to do it. I don't feel remotely ashamed (for context though we are in Ireland where infection rates are much lower).

[Uhoh2020]

Yes my DM has been having my youngest for a few weeks now for a few hours about twice a week. Shes mid 60s no health conditions.

[RaeCJ82]

We don't have the choice of using grandparents, sadly and DD's nursery is still shut so we are still muddling through both WFH and looking after her.

[Ethelfleda]

We aren’t - DM is over 70 and is a smoker with COPD. But then DS nursery is open now (he only went to DMs once a week)

If I were you, I’d wait just a little while longer. Perhaps see how the land lies in July and if any more restrictions are lifted by then. I do sympathise. I have no idea how they think they can ‘get the economy going’ again with the vast majority stuck without childcare!!

[Squeekybummum]

My neighbour is having her grandchildren. Started a couple of weeks ago, She said to me last week that she doesn't see anyone other than the grandchildren and she would prefer them going to her house than to school where they will be with others.