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Covid

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Original poster

Is everyone using grandparents for childcare now?

94 replies

UnicornAndSparkles · 13/06/2020 13:50

We've reached our limit. 2 parents juggling working from home and looking after our 2 yr old. Both in professional jobs that require concentration, which is difficult at the best of times, but with a 2 yr old at home constantly for 12 weeks its becoming impossible.

Usually DD goes nursery 3 days a week whilst I work. Nursery is still closed.

Everyone we know is either using their parents (grandparents) or nursery for childcare. Does everyone you know do this?

Are we wrong to consider asking our parents to help us? Both sets live close by but until now we have seen them only twice and maintained social distance. Both sets are in their late 60s/early 70s. We would be so grateful even for just a day of help to enable us to work.

OP posts:

Raaaa · 13/06/2020 15:27

I've used grandparents the whole way through, my mum is in her 50s and said she was happy to (for her own selfish reasons probably) and the MIL has started having her the last couple of weeks as she approached us and said she would start having her again.

Cynderella · 13/06/2020 15:35

I'm looking after my granddaughter again - mornings only while my daughter WFH. Her job involves taking calls, but she's been doing emails only up until now. I suppose we're allowed to now with the 'bubble' arrangement although we probably shouldn't.

I offered to do it because I don't think it's good for a four year old to be in a flat all day with her working mother. We can offer her more than that. She could go back to nursery, but they're only offering full days instead of mornings only.

MamaFirst · 13/06/2020 16:00

This bubble stuff really doesn't make sense, it's more illogical government spiel, probably because much of the general population cannot be trusted to behave sensibly.

If you are isolating and your parents are isolating, then you are all virus free with very minimal chance of infection? How is extending your bubble to one person safe, but two people is not safe? It's nonsense.

For the record, I am shielding because of pregnancy, dh wfh and children will have extended homeschooling until its safe. I'm not flippant with the risks, I just feel this scenario makes little sense.

Imo if you are all happy to extend your bubble to include your parents, then that is safe to do so on the condition they are also strictly social distancing and not seeing anyone else.

However, if they are shielding completely for their age or health conditions - ie not even going to the supermarket or out for walks etc, then I don't think that would be fair to break their shield as presumably you do go to the supermarket etc, so are of a higher risk.

ohthegoats · 13/06/2020 16:01

We're staying 2m away from grandparents. They want to keep it that way from now (having a nice break from their erm, energetic grandchildren).

We've all been to see them in their garden (they have a swimming pool, no chance of staying away), but everyone has been really good at staying apart. They couldn't do care yet, but they are over 70 and one of them is vulnerable - even though he is still working, he's only out to places that are sites and don't have other people.

StatisticalSense · 13/06/2020 16:14

@MamaFirst
The bubble thing makes perfect sense. What you mean is you are annoyed that the government aren't prioritising your wants above the needs of others.

MamaFirst · 13/06/2020 16:16

@statisticalsense That will be a 'bullshit'. I have no wants, I live hundreds of miles from my entire family, and as I already said, I am shielding due to my pregnancy. Try again.

BiggerBoat1 · 13/06/2020 16:18

They can assess their own risk though, as they are adults. Do they want to do it?

No they can't! The whole point is that everyone sticks to what they've been asked to do. It is not fair on everyone who is sticking to the letter of the law to "assess your own risk" or "use your instincts".

Don't be like Dominic Cummings - be better than that!

Drivingdownthe101 · 13/06/2020 16:18

The ‘bubble thing’ is about gradually allowing more contact between families, prioritising those who have been on their own for the past 12 weeks. It makes sense to me.

Drivingdownthe101 · 13/06/2020 16:21

@BiggerBoat1

They can assess their own risk though, as they are adults. Do they want to do it?

Don't be like Dominic Cummings - be better than that!

I don’t give a shit about Cummings. My comment was in response to a PP who said they shouldn’t do it in case they infected the grandparents and killed them. I was merely pointing out that that was for them to decide. People on here seem to treat anyone over 50 as being incompetent.

Plaiceholder · 13/06/2020 16:23

No. They're hundreds of miles away. We can both work from home so managing fine.

Hannah9176 · 13/06/2020 16:26

Im using grandparents, they're both early 50s, haven't been anywhere and are using online shopping. My husband works away and although I can work from home, my job is literally giving life or death emergency advice. If your loved one has overdosed and you want the person managing them to be distracted by an 8 month old just so I'm following the rules then that's on you. For me, the risk is significantly less to have my child in grandparents care and be able to focus on work properly.

Angeldust747 · 13/06/2020 16:38

Yes. DD went to the in laws on Fridays before this all started, and has now started going to theirs once a week whilst we work. It's a much needed break for everyone, and when I pick up/drop off I take their weekly shop so they don't need to go out. They are mid 50s in good health and we're all happy with the level of risk. She's nursery age so not schooling just playing

Cremebrule · 13/06/2020 16:50

A lot of people I know have broken and got grandparents over. Ours are quite a way away but if nursery doesn’t open soon, we’ll send the eldest for a few days at a time. Everyone has a limit and people will be breaking lockdown to keep jobs. I can’t blame them for that.

okiedokieme · 13/06/2020 17:13

All kinds of solutions, my DD's (students) both have multiple families they are minding/homeschooling kids for, they charge £10 per hour for up to 3 kids and have others they have passed families onto such is demand (they only do age 5 and up because they won't do personal hygiene stuff but are both dbs checked to work with kids). It's going to be a difficult summer!

Ginqueen456 · 13/06/2020 17:45

I am, my employer asked me back and knowing there will be redundancies at my work place I need to make sure I keep my name off that list. We've judged the risks and it was my parents who offered.

99victoria · 13/06/2020 17:58

We're looking after our grandchildren again since my daughter, a primary school teacher, went back to work 3 weeks ago. We'd seen them a couple of times before that in early May (my grand-daughter's birthday then my birthday). We're both 59 and in good health. It's been working fine so far

ACNH · 13/06/2020 18:01

Nope - can’t wait to be able to bubble up with them

Devlesko · 13/06/2020 18:06

No, I"m not, neither are my friends.
Tbh none of their dc have asked. It's a shame but your kids, you look after them.

converseandjeans · 13/06/2020 18:06

I think if you are wfh and not in a high risk job with contact with people who may have virus it should be ok. Maybe to start with they just have DD outdoors for example park or other outdoor space then it might be better? So maybe just ask for couple of hours at a time? It's very difficult for people to be able to work and look after small children.

Sonnet18 · 13/06/2020 18:09

Yes, twice in the past 12 weeks. Both full time keys workers and have two children under 5. It’s been very very hard. I’ve never instigated it, parents have offered and I have said yes. I cannot wait for nursery to re-open (we are scotland)

Africa2go · 13/06/2020 18:14

No and no-one I know is.

Getting up early to work, home schooling 3 in different years, doing emails here and there. Husband doing the same when I need to take calls. Screen time late afternoon for children. Husband and I working till 10pm or 11pm most nights (and in shifts at the weekend if needs be) to get our hours in. Most people we know are doing similar hours.

KellyHall · 13/06/2020 18:14

I know several people who usually have family support but haven't since March.

Sorry if I've missed something but why is your nursery still closed? If you're in England, could you find an alternative?

pinkglove75318 · 13/06/2020 18:15

My parents are doing my childcare. However they are 49 and 51.

bigchris · 13/06/2020 18:16

God me and dh are 49 and 51 and both workimg full time, green with envy !

mylittlepony1 · 13/06/2020 18:17

Yes! One of my neighbours who is a single mum and a keyworker has been doing this all through lockdown. Child was not enrolled in a nursery and the mum needs to keep her job. I think its down to individual common sense and risk assessment.

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