How the hell are parents meant to work?

[worzelsnurzel123]

With this latest blow from schools and yet further delays, I predict employers will cease to be “ fair” and they will run out of the patience BJ vaguely muttered about hoping they’d have. So what are the options?

1. Resign from jobs? This could have massive impact on income, likely to affect women and the future of women’s’ rights and progress in the workplace, creation of mental health issues and socio economic problems
2. Will some parents be pushed in to feeling the have no choice but to leave kids home alone? Esp those who are borderline age group eg 8-12. Not ideal at all. Clearly this will impact on MH, safety, parental work performance.
3. Leave kids with grandparents who are likely to be over 70 in many cases, shielding or vulnerable. Risks of passing the virus on would lead to guilt , worry on both sides.
4. Wait for everything to fuck up work wise, scrabble for child care here there and everywhere, lose employers good will due to time off needed and eventually get dismissed for poor attendance, breach of conduct and or poor performance

This is a disgrace. An absolute disgrace

"Women with partners will need to tell them to go pt, then both working pt, would be fair."

That's not always practical or cost effective. My DH is 3 pay bands higher than me so it is generally cheaper for me to work less hours. We are both keyworkers, but fortunately as his is more admin/ technical, he has now discovered that WFH is preferable so has been at home for the past 13 weeks, although busier than ever. This week he had to go in for a few days to work on an important project that couldn't be done remotely so I have just had to take annual leave. My parents are both in their 70s but are offering to cover us in the summer holidays if needed as their house is much bigger than ours and said they could maintain social distancing more effectively than school could anyway, neither child has the option of going back to school currently due to lack of space at school.
I do feel very fortunate that we have at least had options and our kids can generally entertain themselves (as long as they have WiFi) but I really feel for those who are stuck, we're knackered from it so I can't imagine how difficult it must be with younger children than ours. It all seems to be just one big mess and the more "going to the beach", rioting and general crowding there is, the less point there seems to be to kids being at home.

I always thought the main purpose of schools was to educate young people? Crikey maybe I've been getting that wrong for years!

So did I, but there’s not much of that going on at the moment - and in fairness the government seem to think school are childcare because that’s what they’ve had them offer for that past 3 months.

Crikey, maybe we’ve both been getting that wrong for years

@TakemetoGreeceplease what do you normally do during holidays? Schools are soon to hit normal holiday season so surely you do as you have always done in holiday season re childcare.

FFS how many times......this year school holidays are different.
My usual options are :
Annual leave ( usually take a month. Can only take one week this year)
Holiday clubs ( not open)
Grandparents (not allowed)

Can people seriously not understand why some people are finding it difficult this year.

Ive already commented once but the sheer amount of ridiculous comments has forced me to comment again.

I’m a single parent of 2. One is in nursery and the other is 7. I work for the emergency services (police force) so daft fucker over here cannot work from home. I’m now having to use my annual leave entitlement (which i cant actually book AL until later this year as they’ve refused time off) just to accommodate taking my eldest to school for the next 5 weeks. The youngest is no bother as the nursery is open 7:30-6, but the eldest’s school is 9-3:30. No wraparound care and I just about afford my bills each month, let alone anything else so i cant afford a nanny. Btw, the schools and nursery are only JUST opening back up for the first time since march. My sister had to provide my childcare between then and now due to her being furloughed as I was genuinely stuck because i HAD to work, or i would’ve lost my job. She goes back to work for 3 days a week which she’s been able to pick what shifts she does and we have worked them around my early ones so she can still help me out on my late shifts until something more permanent comes into play.

Not everyone can return to the 1940’s and be a good little housewife. Certainly not if they’re the breadwinner, sole income or the second income is needed for things like mortgages. If only things were that simple, eh!

@SueEllenMishke

FFS how many times......this year school holidays are different. My usual options are : Annual leave ( usually take a month. Can only take one week this year) Holiday clubs ( not open) Grandparents (not allowed)

Can people seriously not understand why some people are finding it difficult this year.

Thanks i was going to type that but this is getting tedious

No grandparents near me
Run out of leave over past 3 months
I guess my option is take unpaid leave (might as well ask for redundancy then, asking for unpaid leave in this climate)

I would ship them off in a heart beat to grandparents otherwise

is increasingly apparent that there is a minority of people who see this crisis as an opportunity to return women to their rightful place in the kitchen.

Not just in the UK either
twitter.com/AmandaRishworth/status/1270601688655761408

Video of an Aus politician saying women at home means less pollution, cars on road and the corker, "dorothy didnt say there no place like childcare"
Its his response to free childcare being removed now pandemic slowing and how it would disadvantage working women

The trouble is that people, these days, want everything, now. When we got married, we were both working, in low paid jobs, one a nurse. When first child came along, woman gave up work. We didn't have a washing machine, tumble drier etc. Washing was done in the bath. Terry towelling nappies (re-usable). Second child came along and we had saved enough for the washing machine. There was always one parent at home for the children, until the youngest reached 16. We never bought anything until we had the money for it. Only item on tick was a mortgage. There would be no problem with child care if we followed the old ways. I agree that families would not have all the really necessary things, such as PlayStation, 40 inch televisions, Sky TV, foreign holidays et al.

You do realise not every woman wants to be a 1950s housewife. It would mentally destroy me. What you describe above is my idea of HELL. The old way went out when women decided enough was enough and started making the move to leave being a domestic slave 24/7

Always one parent at home? you mean the mother chained to the sink.

How belittling of women, how sad they had to give up work simply cos they have a vagina and not a dick. Did your husband ever offer to step up and let you work?

Schools should be sending surveys to see how many WANT to go back, they can't make decisions until they know how many want to go back now. My school HAVE asked - it's 50/50.

The trouble is that people, these days, want everything, now. When we got married, we were both working, in low paid jobs, one a nurse. When first child came along, woman gave up work. We didn't have a washing machine, tumble drier etc. Washing was done in the bath. Terry towelling nappies (re-usable). Second child came along and we had saved enough for the washing machine. There was always one parent at home for the children, until the youngest reached 16. We never bought anything until we had the money for it. Only item on tick was a mortgage. There would be no problem with child care if we followed the old ways. I agree that families would not have all the really necessary things, such as PlayStation, 40 inch televisions, Sky TV, foreign holidays et al.

How depressing that some people think women should return to lives like this. Yes, childcare is can be a stress even at the best of times but I don't want to lose the stimulation I get from work and the pleasures that my income brings. I couldn't afford to live in my fairly modest house if I didn't work. I certainly don't want to spend my sitting around the house by myself while the DC are at school ironing DH's pants nor do I aspire for that to be my daughters' futures either.

My suggestion for the summer holidays: the usual holiday clubs should open with government subsidies to cover the costs of either hiring extra staff or capping numbers to fulfil social distancing requirements. This would require forward planning and notice to childcare providers though so I don't expect it to happen.

Otherwise I think the only option is advertising for a student or other local person to look after children, although worrying for many parents if they don't have experience or references.

@TakemetoGreeceplease what do you normally do during holidays? Schools are soon to hit normal holiday season so surely you do as you have always done in holiday season re childcare.

School holidays start here in less than 2 weeks time in Scotland. What I’ve always done is send kids to various clubs and sports camps. None are open here.

Let's not divert from the issue here! It's not about stripping women of rights it's about opening schools ffs.

Not rocket science!

Shouldn't be difficult!

Negligent government!

Government made up of mainly rich white men #notasurpriseshitshowofaresponsetoreallifeissues

what do you normally do during holidays? Schools are soon to hit normal holiday season so surely you do as you have always done in holiday season re childcare.

Are you being wilfully obtuse? The normal holiday childcare options are:

Clubs/camps: not operating
Grandparents: not allowed
Annual leave: doesn’t cover the whole holiday period, particularly when people will have been using it earlier in the year
Childminders: majority closed; remainder vastly oversubscribed

So what are people supposed to do?

@Vedaisawesome

@TakemetoGreeceplease what do you normally do during holidays? Schools are soon to hit normal holiday season so surely you do as you have always done in holiday season re childcare.

I've already answered this as have many others. Maybe read the thread. I can only assume you don't have children or don't work so not why sure why you're even posting on a thread about schools/childcare issues. But really it's glaringly obvious that most parents will use grandparents/holiday clubs, neither of which are an option this year.

Why do people keep asking "what do you do in the holidays" surely it's not difficult to figure out? I use holiday clubs which are not running. Are people being deliberately obtuse?

Scottish school holidays start at the end of June.

So I believe that in Sturgeon's announcement this week, she will allow one other household to visit (not just for single parents like in England), so this will help with the grandparent childcare issue.

BJ might follow suit but not til July, because English school holidays start later.

I think the 2m will become 1m by august/september school returning.

It's unbelievable that so many people seem satisfied that working families are in this limbo nightmare.

The implications at the end of this hell will have knocked the progress made in the last 30 years for reliable and professional childcare services right back to the 80s.
Grab a teenager ? Yes why did we bother making regulated childcare services an industry in itself and how much of that will be available in the future.
I'm a 48 year old with 4 DGC age 10 years to 20 months. I'm currently doing about 38 hours with the kids from 5.30am and they are employing me to do this. The eldest is on hand while the little ones have there naps in the afternoon then my DD and DS (running a business so employers as well) are working still but watching the kids with help from 10 year old and TV. I work fulltime so have changed this to 16 hours in the afternoons and 20 on a weekend. DD has left her DP partly because of his oblivion to childcare responsibilities. My DH not speaking to me as I went back after work yesterday to resume childcare as DS was working late. Surrounded by people who think working and childcare are optional and only a mother's responsibility.
And a prime minister who probably hasn't a clue who is looking after any of his kids while he cracks on with his job - or not.
Maybe we should book all the kids on for a round of golf every day and the politicians might see there is a problem. Can't see an end to this in the near future certainly not until next year at least. I find it very despairing. My thoughts are with those who are struggling to keep going right now.

I’m still laughing at the quote made by the person who thought things were better in the days of Terry towelling nappies.

You know, back when houses cost £3,000 and you didn’t need two working parents to pay for them.

I’m guessing that person is one of the many who have benefited from massive inflation in property prices, and is now sitting on a pile of money that they didn’t earn.

Here’s the news - it was different for those who came after you.

If only I didn’t play a PlayStation all day, then I’d be able to afford to stay at home.... from someone who probably bought a house with a part time paper round.

Plot twist I don’t have a PlayStation, or eat avocados, we can’t afford to buy a house on 2 wages let alone 1 we’d not be able to afford our basic bills and food shop on one wage.

Why do people keep asking "what do you do in the holidays" surely it's not difficult to figure out? I use holiday clubs which are not running. Are people being deliberately obtuse

This current situation has really shown that huge amounts of people cannot see things from other people's perspectives.
My key worker friend genuinely thought only key workers were still working and kept going on about how lucky I was to be having an extended holiday with DS while she was still working hard. 🙄

I always thought the main purpose of schools was to educate young people? Crikey maybe I've been getting that wrong for years!

God, I’m so tired of this wilful stupidity.

Without getting into any big debate about ‘purpose’ there has never been any need to have childcare provision during school hours because, guess what, the kids are in school.

Now that they’re not, childcare is not going to magically present itself to fill the gap. Especially given that the majority of childcare that was up and running is struggling to get up and running again.

And on another note, there’s very little in the way of education being provided by our school either.

Shitshow all round.

@MrsSimples

Umm how is the govt is encouraging mothers to work?

Sometimes I wonder why we bother educating our daughters if we make it so hard for mothers to work.

I mean in normal times where you're forced to get a job when your child is school age if you want to claim benefits. Of course right now it's very hard!

Yet working parents are making it out that it's so unfair to them like they are the ones having to give up so much. If you life might mean no more holidays, a bit more having to cut out some extra luxuries then so be it.

What about, not being able to pay the mortgage, children being made homeless.

Is that ‘so be it’ too?

The trouble is that people, these days, want everything, now. When we got married, we were both working, in low paid jobs, one a nurse. When first child came along, woman gave up work

Fucking hell, no, women just want equality. I love being a mum, I also enjoy my job. I don't work just to provide holidays and games consoles (why is it always seen as the woman's wages are for frivolous things whilst the important man contributes the essentials); I work because a) I earn double the amount of my husband so we would struggle without my wage, and b) because I want to. I am proud to be a mother, but it's not all I am, and my child enjoys and gets a lot out of being at nursery around other children. But yes, let's blame everything on women and their selfishness at wanting to not be chained at home (not saying it's wrong if you CHOOSE to, but shouldn't be the default). School isn't solely childcare, no, but it doesn't take many brain cells to comprehend why people can usually count on those hours their child is at school to be able to work, and then use other means of childcare (which isn't available at the moment) or annual leave (but no one gets months worth a year) in the holidays.

On BBC news calls are growing to scrap the 2 m distancing in favour of a 1m. If. Child insist on following this at least it means they can vastly increase the amount of pupils they have back in to the classroom and should make teaching much easier.