How the hell are parents meant to work?

[worzelsnurzel123]

With this latest blow from schools and yet further delays, I predict employers will cease to be “ fair” and they will run out of the patience BJ vaguely muttered about hoping they’d have. So what are the options?

1. Resign from jobs? This could have massive impact on income, likely to affect women and the future of women’s’ rights and progress in the workplace, creation of mental health issues and socio economic problems
2. Will some parents be pushed in to feeling the have no choice but to leave kids home alone? Esp those who are borderline age group eg 8-12. Not ideal at all. Clearly this will impact on MH, safety, parental work performance.
3. Leave kids with grandparents who are likely to be over 70 in many cases, shielding or vulnerable. Risks of passing the virus on would lead to guilt , worry on both sides.
4. Wait for everything to fuck up work wise, scrabble for child care here there and everywhere, lose employers good will due to time off needed and eventually get dismissed for poor attendance, breach of conduct and or poor performance

This is a disgrace. An absolute disgrace

I always thought the main purpose of schools was to educate young people? Crikey maybe I've been getting that wrong for years!

It's not about who's had it harder vivand
I can appreciate how difficult women have had it in the past. Surely you can appreciate that families, and in particular women, are having a tough time at the moment.

@justaweeone

I always thought the main purpose of schools was to educate young people? Crikey maybe I've been getting that wrong for years!

So are parents supposed to stay at home during the hours of 9-3 5 days a week just in case a pandemic happens?

Because the government have been encouraging mother's of school age children to work for quite some time now.

Not getting much education now if parents are working ...

Because the government have been encouraging mother's of school age children to work for quite some time now.

Encouraging? You're being too kind. Single parents must look for employment or face benefit sanctions, never ending interviews and poverty. They don't even pretend early years are for education any more, those free hours are not for our children's benefit, like every decision made since COVID-19 it's all about the economy. Didn't even lockdown in a timely manner which we know would have saved many lives, no they squeezed every last minute of earning/spending in that they could.

Sorry haven't rtft.

My DDs are 11 and 13.

They've had to be left alone most of the day from the start. I'm a front line NHS keyworker, but my dh isn't, he's self employed and safely worked outside the home throughout too. School couldn't take them as we're not both keyworkers.

I feel sad at the length of time they'll have been home pretty much unsupported. My work have let me change my shift for now so I can work afternoons/eves, but it's not sustainable. At first it was may be a few weeks, now it's 6 months at least.

Its really hit me hard this week. It feels like a bleak few months ahead.

@TakemetoGreeceplease

Because the government have been encouraging mother's of school age children to work for quite some time now.

Encouraging? You're being too kind. Single parents must look for employment or face benefit sanctions, never ending interviews and poverty. They don't even pretend early years are for education any more, those free hours are not for our children's benefit, like every decision made since COVID-19 it's all about the economy. Didn't even lockdown in a timely manner which we know would have saved many lives, no they squeezed every last minute of earning/spending in that they could.

You're right I was being too kind. Having two working parents isn't a choice for many families. It's not a choice we can make as a family and we don't even live somewhere expensive, but obviously with that come low wages.

If schools doesn't double as childcare then... who does supply childcare? Seriously. Nannies? Childminders? Au pairs? Grandparents, I guess.

Maybe look for alternative childcare?

Are childminders operating right now, for non-keyworker children I mean.

@justaweeone

Maybe look for alternative childcare?

Yes that's really easy right now when the only options you have are childminders (not all are open) and nurseries (not all are open) and good luck if you weren't on the books pre covid.

The rich can afford nannies of course but us peasants can't.

justaweeone
If only it were that simple.
Not everyone has a plethora of childcare options on their doorstep.

Childminders/holiday clubs tend to stop around 11 anyway as generally older kids could probably entertain themselves. I'm used to planning for school holidays, but this is on another level.

Yes @PeanutButterKid. Our DD's nursery remains closed (annoyingly) but we managed to find a childminder who reopened to non-keyworker children on 1 June who has space to take her p/t.

Maybe look for alternative childcare?

Hollow laugh

Seriously? I must say that never occurred to me! Please tell me where to find this mythical childcare

Yes some childminders went back last week to non keyworker kids. I was v v lucky to get a place 2 days a week (no childcare for the other three days I'm working but better than nothing). I only got the space because two other families have lost their jobs already and I knew this childminder previously so managed to get in there quick. Other childminders are quitting though - I personally know of one and provision was thin on the ground pre-covid.

There's one holiday club taking bookings in my town but giving no guarantee of opening and not for my Y7 child as it stops at 11.

Bluebell1995

That is not good enough your school should have taken your dds in.

I am completely and utterly disgusted at the lack of support for families 2 parents in work. The government are taking the micky. They are letting down families as well as employers. I work at 50% capacity at the most when normally I'm pretty kick arse in my job. I studied for over a decade to be where I am and am now failing at parenting and schooling the kids as well as failing my boss, colleague and jeopardising my career.
I'm livid.
I supported lockdown wholeheartedly but the lack of gov planning and communication is outrageous.

Can you sense that I'm pissed off?

I’m a FT worker - thankfully able to WFH for the foreseeable - with a supportive DH and 2x primary age DC (Year 3 and 5). Read most of this thread and agree with much of what has been said (confusion and huge mess up by govt, schools SLT doing their best on little/late guidance, massive pressure/impossibility of teaching our own children long term, Tories focused on economy over education etc).

However wanted to come on to make a point re. childcare vs education. Someone a few posts back said “If you don’t have childcare you shouldn’t work”. Ok fair enough but this is hindsight.

For the last 40 years (at least), it has been the societal norm that children could be educated and/or looked after outside the home, with this care provided either by the state, or by paid professionals, or by family or friends. We are used to this norm. This is the norm on which we have all built our lives, careers and routines.

Taking away all of those options and then chastising us if we complain is unfair: yes, in a different world where there was no external childcare, people who wanted children would make sure there was care and education at home.

But this is not the world we lived in.

We are all now pushed into an impossible situation. Put up and shut up, work stupid hours and muddle through, quit work or be fired and suffer the financial consequences, or, break the rules and invent informal childcare among friends with the attendant risks of infection or being reported. Either way if you’re a working parent you can’t win.

I’m lucky. I have a job, support at home, big enough house & garden to keep kids happy, technology, etc. But I can’t see an end to this - not one that the government leads us out of anyway.

Like the OP said - how the hell are we supposed to do this?

@beepbeeprichie I could have written this - that’s exactly how I feel. People at work say to me over no idea how you cope’ well tbh I’m barely coping at best and ignore my kids constantly because I am on calls all bloody day. I don’t want my kids to have spent a year on iPads by the time this is over (if it’s even over)

A very accurate comment ..

How do you think school staff are coping who have to work as well as look after their school children?!!

*their own school aged children

Same as the rest of us I guess justaweeone 🤷
It's a shit situation all round for lots of people.

I can sympathise with the real danger of some women facing the uncertainty the OP mentions , I think it’s a Relatively unseen problem with all the other issues recently. I can also see the Government’s quandary. Teachers unions and the opposition are saying it’s not safe to return , personally I agree with them , I’m not a scientist but just by information in the news and from our school I can see their point .

Umm how is the govt is encouraging mothers to work?

Sometimes I wonder why we bother educating our daughters if we make it so hard for mothers to work.