Grandparent childcare

[countchocula]

If you previously relied on this (regular childcare for work, not adhoc / babysitting), when will you be resuming it?

Caveats being obviously not shielding / vulnerable / over 70s etc.

I don't think the government are going to explicitly say this is ok at any point. I think it's being overlooked or avoided as it could open up a can of worms.

Feels like another thing we should be "using our common sense" for, but is totally essential for many of us who will be needing to get back to work

Appreciate this may vary depending on where you are and what is happening with schools and nurseries.

I won't be, I have dropped hours at work to allow me to collect from school and DH has shifted his hours to start and finish later to drop off.
I work term time only so before and after school is the only childcare I need, I didn't go back to work until my mum retired so she is the only childcare I have ever used but I won't ask her to continue because she would feel obliged even though it put her and my dad at risk. Dropping those hours costs less than before and after school care.

She is healthy and only early 60s but I still think its a big ask.

Next week if my manager will end my furlough. I was furloughed for childcare reasons.
I've got a zoom catch up with her on Monday and am planning to ask if it's possible for me to return. I'd only been back at work 3 weeks before lockdown was initiated after maternity leave and work dropped off massively, but the business is doing a huge marketing push at the moment and talking to the team the business is getting busier and they can do with my help.
One day with my mum and the following with mil. I've spoken to them both and they're excited.

We can meet with people, but only outside. And still need to maintain 2m distances. So I can't imagine that allows grandparents to realistically look after grandchildren even if they wanted to at the moment.

Extra days at the childminder. Been paying extra for ten weeks, no train fare so it evens out at the moment.

Listen I think you have to do what’s right , using common sense.
Other countries have begun their exit and are coping. At this stage, I don’t see the difference between your daughter going to grandparents than going to nursery.

DrMadelineMaxwell childminders and nannies are allowed to work again. If it's an ongoing arrangement which the parent relies on to work, I can't see the difference.

Especially if procedures are adopted from the above. So not going into the house, social distancing when dropping off at the door, not sending things with them etc.

DrMadeline isn't that the whole point of the Dominic Cummings thing through? That using grandparents as childcare is actually within the rules if you have no other alternative?

but I won't ask her to continue because she would feel obliged even though it put her and my dad at risk

I totally get this. I should have added only if the grandparent is willing / keen.

My MIL started looking after mine again a few weeks ago for few hours a day. In normal times she has them 2 days a week.

I had reached breaking point, trying to work full time from home in a very stressful critical worker role with a 2 year old and a 3 year old mostly on my own. DP is self employed in an industry not affected by Covid and lockdown hit at his busiest time of year. He was working 7 days a week 12-16 hour days, alongside FIL who he is in partnership with.

Seemed daft that I was on the point of a full on exhaustion induced breakdown when MIL was sat at home twiddling her thumbs and lonely and FiL going backwards and forwards between us and her anyway. Common sense finally kicked in.

Pretty sure the guidance from the government currently says that key workers should avoid grandparent care if the grandparents are over 70 or shielding but doesn't go as far as saying that grandparents not in those categories shouldn't provide care to allow key workers to work.

I think there will have to be an announcement about grandparents having children, I imagine this will come before we are advised we can visit other households.

I’m not, this whole situation is a godsend to wind them looking after the kids down. But in your situation, I would start as soon as they asked, so I would suggest but would agree if they offered. Surely it’s less exposure than a Childminder?

*wouldnt

I don’t see the difference between your daughter going to grandparents than going to nursery.

I doubt your childminder is in her 70s though, so it is not the same. Your DC's are as likely as you to be carrying the virus - remember that younger people often don't show symptoms and that the older you are the more likely the virus is to kill you. Please don't put them at risk.

Listen I think you have to do what’s right , using common sense.

I agree. But it's horrible feeling you're breaking the rules by doing so. I wish this was something there was more clarity around.

@pastabest we're in a very similar position to you and have done the same. I just couldn't cope anymore. My eldest is reception aged but have been told they're not going back until 15th at the earliest. I just couldn't wait any more
I'd do it op

I doubt your childminder is in her 70s though

Just to add my parents are not in their 70s.

Everything I've seen mentioned about this back at the start and in reference to key workers mentions avoiding using over 70s grandparents for childcare. But doesn't take into account that grandparents could be in their 50s or 60s with no health issues.

This is why I think they are expecting people to "use their common sense", but I do wish they would clarify.

Seems odd you could have a nanny working in your home but not use this setup

Ah maybe I should clarify also my parents and inlaws aren't in their 70s either. They are all late 40s/early 50s.

A work colleague has had to use her mother from last week as there was no other option. Nhs so no furlough and no childcare for her 2 year old in the area.

We don't use parents except for school holidays ,we will be needing them in the 6 weeks especially if our usual childcare doesn't open up.

If all parties are happy I see no reason why not.

When dd has to go back into the office I will look after dgs as I would have done before lockdown. I'm early 50s with no underlying health conditions, have stuck to lockdown regulations haven't been to a shop or socialised since it began so imagine dgs coming here would leave him less exposed than if dd placed him in nursery or with a childminder.

We don't use parents except for school holidays

I didn't even think about this as my DD is younger, but of course so many people will be stuck over the summer holidays.

Maybe that will mean they address it if they haven't before.

A few of my colleagues have parents in their mid-70s who aren’t at risk at all except on paper (healthy, not even any high blood pressure) and so will be carrying on using them for childcare. I think commonsense needs to apply, definitely.

the business is doing a huge marketing push at the moment and talking to the team the business is getting busier and they can do with my help.

I'm self employed and lost all my contracts but have had enquiries in the past couple of weeks. If I don't go back to work (currently doing what I can in the evenings / on weekends for my existing clients) my business won't exist for very long.

I was entitled to the SEISS grant but my maternity year pushed the average right down so I got the bare minimum. I need to get back to work.

I intend to do this from Monday, for two days a week. Both myself and my parents have followed lockdown guidelines and so at present there is no real risk to us or society generally.

But I really do wish there was clarify on it, many people will have had this setup prior to CV and have grandparents who are not in any of the at risk groups

Thanks everyone for commenting.

pastabeast for what it's worth i think that makes perfect sense, I would have done the same.