Grandparent childcare

[countchocula]

If you previously relied on this (regular childcare for work, not adhoc / babysitting), when will you be resuming it?

Caveats being obviously not shielding / vulnerable / over 70s etc.

I don't think the government are going to explicitly say this is ok at any point. I think it's being overlooked or avoided as it could open up a can of worms.

Feels like another thing we should be "using our common sense" for, but is totally essential for many of us who will be needing to get back to work

My 78 yo parent will probably start bringing my youngest home from primary school, when he goes back (July, Sept, who knows).

It’s quite a different situation though, as parent is still employed part time by the school and will be going back to work next week. So, seems crazy to tie myself in knots getting to the school gate to collect DS from...his grandparent! Plenty of 70-something’s work - you’ve only got to look at gransnet to see how many 70-something’s are providing care for 90 yo parents.

That's a good point lemons!

My - slightly tinfoil hat - view is that they purposefully haven't addressed this and will continue to purposefully not address it. The government know damn well that a huge number of people rely on grandparent care. They can't allow it because the science doesn't support it, and people will complain that if their child can go to grandparent they should be able to as well. They can't disallow it because it's the only way many people can work. Hence they vaguely advise not to use grandparents over 70 but don't reference it in any other way.

AMostExcellentStick I completely agree. This is exactly what I think is happening.

If they're allowed to go to a childminder, they should be allowed to go to (healthy, young, happy with the risk) grandparents. Surely if anything its lower risk as they wont be mixing with other children and families.

We moved in with the grandparents at the beginning of lockdown as it was the only way we would have survived. We are both key workers - I am NHS and go out to work, he is in another essential industry where he is allowed to wfh but doing it with a 20month and 3yr old at home is impossible. He needs to be available to take calls and focus during working hours and this would not have been a case of the kids interrupting every now and then - he would not have been able to take the call at all with them around. If his company had said they don't need his services because of this, finances would have been a major problem for us.

MIL was furloughed and FIL took early retirement, both well under 70, fit and well. They provide the wrap around care for us around nursery hours and in school holidays so they were happy to have the children on my working days.

It worked very well for us - when at the peak, I was the only person who left the house for anything at all. I did all the shopping and anything else required outside and would then strip and shower as soon as I got in. Being trained on infection control, it is much easier for me to know critical points for washing hands etc, sanitising car and so on. We had decided early on that if there were any signs I could be infected (colleague in close contact testing positive/symptoms), I would go back to own house to isolate and minimise the spread to rest of the family. Fortunately we didn't need to do that.

We are moving back home this weekend and they will continue to provide childcare as they have been. We intend to still keep to our 'bubble' and not see anyone else for now

We had our 2 pre-school grandchildren today for the first time in 3 months. We will be having them one day a week from now on (daughter is a primary school teacher). We love having them and have had a lovely day today. We're both late 50s and no health issues

I've started to use my family for childcare. I had to I was running out of options work wise and we decided as a family to create a 2 family social bubble, there's me, my mother my grandmother and my son. So 4 generations, in two houses .

Nan rang me saying she had , had enough she didn't want do die having never hugged DS again, she could drop dead tomorrow falling down the stairs, so with that in mind, we all sat round a table and discussed what everyone was happy with what risk reducing behaviours we could do. 🤷🏻‍♀️

IMO the Cummings fiasco has well and truly proven you need to do what is best for you during this. Of course all of us in society are responsible for minimising the spread and need to make sacrifices but there was no way we were risking our livelihood (financially speaking) when we had a perfectly viable childcare option through this

riddles that sounds so stressful, but a very sensible solution in the circumstances. I'm glad they were able to help and that you can continue it.

That's something I think is crucial, we are very much in our own bubble.

Many people still working have continued to use family as childcare from the start. It has never been against the rules to do so. The only advice was to avoid using family or friends as childcare if they were in the vulnerable groups.

We are currently also thinking about this. We have been told that Dd2 can go back to nursery from Monday but it’s unlikely that the infant school will be able to accommodate Dd1 in year 1 until September at the earliest due to number of classrooms and teachers required. Dd2 will be in a bubble with 8 other 3/4 year olds alongside teacher and 2 key workers. We are thinking it will make much more sense for the grandparents to look after them both whilst both me and DH work from home. We only go out to go on walks/ shopping as have they so the risk of infection from any party is minimal and seems much safer than Dd1 mixing with 8 other children as we don’t know how strict their families have been with social distancing etc.

My Mum is having my son again from Monday 1st June. She's 65 with no underlying health conditions and we're both happy with our decision

It has never been against the rules to do so.

I think when we were only allowed to leave the house once a day for exercise, how essential it was could have been debated.

Now we are able to move around more and many are returning to work, I can't see a specific law which would forbid this or make any part of it fineable.

Blue I'm a key worker so could have accessed childcare from the start in a school setting, but we wanted to minimise exposure in our bubble. I had a choice family care or school care, I chose family.

None of us have been unwell with covid. When me and DS arrive, we wash hands DS gives nan a cuddle and then goes off to play in the garden. We have told DS to stop climbing on nan and limit contact! (he's 5) he does this well. Good handwashing, and hygiene and we seem to do fine.

Me, DH and two DC moved into my parents house 3 weeks ago so they could help us with childcare. DP are both 70 but in v good health. We're moving back next week but they will continue to provide adhoc childcare when needed. Everyone is aware of the risks and happy for this arrangement. Neither household had seen anyone else in 12 weeks so it felt like it was a safe option. I think both households will be moving onto the socially distant meetings in June though.

We will be starting grandparent care again in the near future as I am being called back into work (keyworker) after wfh since lockdown.

The only concern I have is the guidance for early years settings that says children should only attend one setting where possible. We have to use a childminder 3 days per week and they are keen for children to only attend their setting.

Would you class your grandparent care as 'setting'?? Has anyone else had issues with this?

I've done it this last week.

Keyworker at breaking point. My mum is 65 and healthy. My dad is 70 but more than happy to take the risk. He also doesn't see them as he's out in a keyworker role still working. They have mainly been looked after outside for a few hours whilst I work.

I (and the grandparents) felt it was safer for them and us as a family than using school keyworker care.

It's saved my sanity. Given my mum immeasurable pleasure and meant our work got done. When one child goes back to school next week it'll stop till 2 weeks after he finishes school and then will resume for the summer.

My common sense told me it was ridiculous j could employ a nanny but not my mum.

My common sense told me it was ridiculous j could employ a nanny but not my mum.

This.

It's reassuring to hear from parents and grandparents who have been able to give / receive childcare support.

A few of my colleagues have parents in their mid-70s who aren’t at risk at all except on paper (healthy, not even any high blood pressure) and so will be carrying on using them for childcare. I think commonsense needs to apply, definitely.

It isn't just about not having high blood pressure etc. People in their 70s naturally begin to lose the ability to fight of infections. Your immune system weakens as you get older. Even someone who is relatively fit for the age of 70, would still be at risk. This is why people of a certain age have flu jabs every year

Yes was stressful making the decision at the beginning when we were stepping into unknown and I was petrified I would make in laws ill because I am going out to work but decision certainly worked out for the best in our case.

We were eligible for key worker childcare but our nursery closed so we would have had to go elsewhere. Settling the children somewhere else in the midst of this (where we would not have been able to view the nursery in advance) plus them having to attend full days when they have only ever attended half days in the past was definitely not in their best interests. MIL was explicitly clear that she did not want them uprooted like that and would much rather keep them herself

My DM has been coming to take my youngest (5) for a few hours once a week for the past 3 weeks. She offered I didn't ask. I'm wfh so even those few hours helps me out massively. My parents are in their 60s healthy no underlying health issues, my ds has only been out on walks and my parents only out for shopping I see any risk as minimal and the benefits for everyone outweigh that risk. My dmil is shielding and previously would have had my DC twice a week after school she cant see them properly now but all cant wait until they can see each other as normal again.

DS childcare in normal times is a mix of preschool 3 days and grandparents 2 days a week. Managed to up his days at preschool (looking forward to that childcare bill 🙄) as grandparents care not allowed yet. Given DS would be attending preschool he could pick something up there and I'd hate if he passed it to grandparents so we couldn't risk it

My MIL had DS for 2-4 hours after nursery 3 days a week prior to lockdown. Nursery won't let anyone else exceot household members collect from when they reopen unless the goverment chabge the guidelines. So when I'm back at work im going to have to work less hours to finish before 6pm to pick DS up from nursery, its a difficult situation.

We've been doing it all throughout lockdown as usual. As the daughter of keyworkers the other option would be spending more money we couldn't afford on more days at nursery, increasing the risk of transmission for a greater number of people. The grandparent is not in a vulnerable group and was happy to continue.